Nick and James take a bold stance on Nazis. I mean apparently it is a bold stance on Nazis in 2017, so that gag no longer makes any sense. Also, they talk about Pixar vs Dreamworks, and the ennui of children.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

If the M3 had a bus lane, we would probably throw our parents onto it. In our first episode in a long time, Nick stumbles into a therapy session with James.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick and James have some fun, and then Nick introduces a subject that probably needs a content warning.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick reads a couple of his favourite childrens' story books, in the hopes of staving off complete system breakdown.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Alternative Title: "A Shoe-In For Actual Cancer" Up for discussion: Why are the English such a pestilence on this planet?Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Recorded live at Southampton Superpod 2017, with special guests Stacey Taylor and Michael Georgiou!Nicolas Papaconstantinou

James is making coffee, and Nick has to apologise to his son, but passive-aggressively.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick and James have what passes for an argument in polite society about their fetishes.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

James doesn't know how to take a compliment, and Nick doesn't know how to give one.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick worries about James getting Final Destinationed.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick asks a simple question about genitals. James totally hijacks it with his SJW agenda. He's such a cuck.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick learns all about James' real best friend, and James listens to Nick read James' words.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Alternate title: The Disproportionate Amount Of Celebrities Who Died In 2016 It's 2017 and everything is Britannia Music now. James talks about The Nook, and Nick is the spirit of 2016.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick and James talk about fine British food, Christmas songs, and how all parents are perfect.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick and James look through a guinea pig darkly, while doing their first proper live recording.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Our first show in ages. We don't talk about any of James' stuff, but we do talk about entropy, and using Dan Harmon as a barometer for how to live your life.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

In this very special episode, recorded on the 15th October, 2016 at the Twittercomic2016 event, James talks to Timothy Swann, Beth and George Beedham and David Wynne about mental health and the NHS.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

In this very special episode, recorded on the 15th October, 2016 at the Twittercomic2016 event, James talks to Beth and George Beedham about their personal experiences with mental illness and mental healthcare.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick and James do a live broadcast. It is exciting!Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick goes on an ill-conceived adventure in children's books and reading.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Alternate name: Resident Willy Expert James wants to build a computer, and Nick suddenly finds himself thinking about HR Giger for the weirdest reasons.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick and James are Totes Cray Cray. This is us accidentally talking about politics again, by the way. Sorry!Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick has a hard out, and James has to make a meal of something. A short episode this time, and there's some awfully ropey sound at the beginning. It levels out really quickly, though, we promise.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

James thinks all women should be one way, and Nick thinks everybody should think like him.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

After a long time Nick and James reunite at the same old studios on the same old day of the week to talk about dog medication, kid gymnasts, boring diagnoses and coping with Trump.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Alternate titles: Jimmy Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine / Harmon Piss Nappy / The Spirit Of The Escalator / It's Time For Our Party Trick James and Nick guest star on the amazing Stacey's amazing Stacey's Pop Culture Parlour Live 2, a 24 hour podcast for charity. This is what happened before and after it.…

We didn't want to talk about the referendum, but it's the first time we've been in a position to, so there's that.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

James and Nick reunite after too long apart. James has taken up cycling but doesn't mention it once, and Nick is definitely a nice person.Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick struggles with masculinity – mainly his own – and talks at length about bad dads and Jay Edidin’s excellent column How To Be A Guy. You can read Jay’s first column (as discussed) here: “How To Be A Guy” by Jay EdidinNicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick is feeling a bit mentally unhealthy, but has some thanks to deliver…Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick and James are a nonsense, but they’re the nonsense you deserve. Also, Nick has a persistent nasal whine in this one. Sorry about that – no filter exists to get rid of it. Also we’re raising funds to cover hosting for the next two years! If you want to help, click here! Things: Disney Princess Magiclips […]…

Nick and James return after a short and unplanned break with renewed internet and rekindled anger at the world. No real shownotes this week, because we only talk about really obvious popular culture, and Nick has to take the boys to the childminder at some ridiculous time in the morning. Our Patreon, for those who […]…

James worries about easy erections, Nick wants to have a Freudian conversation off mic, and Jon visits! Remember, if you want to support us, there’s always Patreon!: patreon.com/totp (Or you could buy something from one of the Amazon links down there…) Show Notes: “The Birdie Song” by The Tweets: Rod Hull – Wikipedia Johnny Morris […]…

Nick talks directly to you, the listener, and the show has an existential crisis. Also featured in this episode: “Everyday Different” by Nicolas Papaconstantinou – link Mentioned in this show: Inside Out – “Your desperation is making me sad”: Anomalisa: Naked (a totally unrepresentative trailer): David Thewlis – IMDB Jennifer Jason Leigh – IMDB The…

Nick and James are crammed into a very cosy space, and Nick is slowly succumbing to a very coldy nose. Also, James makes some room in his life for his PS4, and Nick does some advertising. Not a lot of shownotes this week – it wasn’t a particularly shownotey week! Just these two nuggets: Here’s […]Nicolas Papaconstantinou

James and Nick do a podcast about stuff. It’s kind of even more free-ranging than normal, and ends up with a conversation about cock. Show notes: “Do Re Me So Far So Good” by Carter USM: Carter USM – Wikipedia / Amazon Tim and Max Learnt Everything They Know About Life From Popular Culture – […]Nicolas Papaconstantinou

Nick and James talk about the Oscars and diversity and how they want to argue with people. Also: Are the Prodigy monsters? Show Notes: Faith No More – Wikipedia Queen’s Greatest Hits: “Here Come The ABCs” by They Might Be Giants – Amazon “Smack My Bitch Up” by Prodigy – YouTube / Amazon “Kiss With […]…

James and Nick talk about comedy and giving their children nosebleeds and inequality. Show notes: “Andy Weir: The Martian” – link Rick from “Rick and Morty”: Dan Harmon from Harmontown: Philip Schofield and Holly Willoughby disgrace themselves: Denis Leary – Wikipedia Steven Wright – Wikipedia Sam Kinison – Wikipedia Sam Kinison’s First Appearance …

Is this a self-indulgent podcast episode, or the MOST self-indulgent podcast episode? This episode has two full grown men on it, but both of them are Nick. Sorry, everyone! Show notes Those “Under Pressure” (by Queen and David Bowie) isolated vocals (download here): That Elephant Words image: 10/01/2016 Image – “The Enola Gay” by Trey […]…

Alternate title: “Always be flagging” Reunited after a bloody long time, Nick and James contend with Star Wars, Nick wrestles with bad audio, and James struggles with people being allowed to have opinions. Shownotes: “Compton” by Dr Dre – Amazon “Sax Man” by Lonely Island – Amazon / YouTube “Flutes & Trombones” by Tenacious D – […]…

Nick has just a few quick bits of information for you, listener!admin

Alt title: “Who Gives A Fuck About The Oxford Comma?” Nick tries to talk about procrastination. James stages an intervention. They talk about the nature of flaking. Show notes: “The Garden Centre” by James Gillie – link Waterworld – IMDB / Amazon Amanda Bird at Elephant Words – link Alex Jury at Elephant Words – link […]…

Alternate title: “I was a Commie chef” or “I Do Think About The Corrs A Lot”. Yes, folks, we’re still here. This episode has been cursed, but here it is! THE GUINEA PIG IS STILL ALIVE! Nick and James get mired in politics and ideology and stuff, and then mention their kids at the very end. […]Nicolas Papaconstantinou

James is back at work, and Nick is upset about Dan and Erin. They talk about a lot of other podcasts in this episode – see the show notes for details of which ones! Show notes: “Incredibad” by The Lonely Island – Amazon Comedy Bang Bang #312: Grounded Me@ – link “Hi Ho Silver” by Jim […]Nicolas Papaconstantinou

James has some good news and some pop knowledge, and Nick is an accidental Māori racist. Also, what car does Morrissey drive? And should a pig-fucker apologise for slavery? Show notes: “Opposites Attract” by Paula Abdul: How to pronounce Māori: Cliff Curtis – IMDB Temuera Morrison – IMDB […]Nicolas Papaconstantinou

We don’t quite get the whole pig-fucking thing out of our systems. This episode is basically a running commentary of what was going on at a Starbucks in Southampton as we recorded. Show notes: #piggate – link James’ pieces at Elephant Words – link “Video explains the world’s most important 6-sec drum loop” – YouTube […]…

Nick gives James some writing advice, and James tells us a very personal story about his father. Show notes: Elephant Words – link Elephant Words posts by James Gillie – link “Laika” by Nick Abadzis – Amazon Pot Noodle Peperami: Lisa Faulkner – IMDB “mixTape” by Nicolas Papaconstantinou – link “Je Suis un Rock Star” […]…

Nick and James try to work out what to call this episode, and also review their favourite mental health apps. James also tries to explain Cricket to Nick. Apps! Please vote for us at the UK Podcasters Awards! We’re actually quite into the idea now! Alternate titles: A Sallow Walrus I Trust Their Algorithm Show notes: […]…

James and Nick try to process being nominated for an award, and Nick fails to control a guest. Vote for us at the UK Podcasters Awards here! Show notes: Point Vs Point – link “The Elephanta Suite” by Paul Theroux – Amazon “The Burning Land” by Bernard Cornwell – Amazon “The First Chronicles of Druss […]…

James and Nick are joined by a very special guest – one of the main subjects of our show! It is amazing! And barely awkward at all! Show notes: Sprinkles – link “Good Morning” by The Beatles (fan video) – YouTube My Little Pony: Equestria Girls – Rainbow Rocks – IMDB My Little Pony: Equestria Girls […]…