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Enjoying Your Blended Family

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Enjoying Your Blended Family

Randall & Scarlett Tandy

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Welcome to Enjoying Your Blended Family! We bring new episodes every Monday and Friday. Mondays are on hot topics in blended families and Fridays are all about fun ideas you can do with your blended family. This podcast is all about strengthening your blended family relationships and having more fun, giving you hope and encouragement so everyone is enjoying the journey together.
 
We're Mike and Kim Anderson. We set out on our blended family adventure over 20 years ago thinking it would be a cinch…but quickly found out how complicated things can be. Following a painful co-parenting battle with an Ex, we found ourselves disconnected and teetering on the brink of divorce. Then we got to work discovering how to overcome all our challenges and guide our family to thrive. If you're a stepmom or stepdad frustrated with how challenging it is to be a step-parent. Or you're a ...
 
A blended family is such an important topic because it’s dealing with so many lives, not just that of you and your spouse. You have your kids and your spouses kids of course, but you also have the other sets of parents to contend with (if there is shared custody). With so many cooks in the kitchen, it can make sanity hard to come by on some days. We can lose our way in the midst of chaos, jealousy, insecurity, frustration, anger, confusion, miscommunication, and power struggles. This podcast ...
 
The Blended Family Podcast is a weekly show with a strong focus on strategies and methods to help your family thrive. Blended Families face many difficulties and challenges which can sometimes drive families apart. The goal of this podcast is is to help your family grow together through these challenges and create the peaceful and loving home you desire. Your host, Melissa, understands these struggles because she has a blended family of her own. When you listen to this podcast, you will see ...
 
Biblical Solutions for High Achieving Stepmoms Are you tired of all the double standards for Stepmoms? Do you find yourself searching for answers on the internet on how to deal with your exhaustion from all the bio-mama drama? Are you anxious and confused about your self-worth? Because your reality isn't matching up with your expectations and self-perception? You know, it's like you're two different women, depending on whether you're in stepmom mode. Is your biggest fear that your stepfamily ...
 
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OMG, Part 1 was so good, we had to ask a few more questions and create this Part 2. You will gain some valuable insight on what a stepdaughter was thinking and struggling with from being raised in 2 different homes. It’s easy to see things from an adult’s (parent’s) perspective, but how are our kids really seeing things? Then at the end, we share a…
 
How do you want to be remembered, Stepmom? In today's Sacred Stepmama Shortie, we examine the story of Lot’s wife. Did you know? Jesus has something to say about Lot’s wife – and it’s not to clear up the mystery of her name. How would you describe Lot’s wife’s influence on her family? Journals, bibles, pens, and coffee at the ready! What will you d…
 
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a …
 
Lead with purpose in your blended family! On this episode of Blended Life we discuss how you can keep yourself in check, and get what you want, by owning your purpose in all you do. We explore what purpose is, how you can define it for yourself and your blended family, and why it is important to discover it. Totally on brand for the month of Januar…
 
Today, I’m talking to kids in single parent families and blended familiesand the adults who love them.Kids, I want to acknowledge some tough things you may be dealing with. Things like; loss and sadness, not having your parents together, maybe one has died, having to move between homes, being anxious about whether your parents will argue again, for…
 
"Ron, if it weren’t for the stepfamily, we’d be a happily married couple."I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard this. Our research finds that before a wedding couple satisfaction is mostly tied to, as you would expectthe couple. Couple satisfaction is a function of the couple’s relationship. But, after the wedding, couple satisfaction is equ…
 
Every parent undertands the power a smartphone carries with kids. What rules, principles, or contracts should you put in place to manage their use? David Eaton, author of Smartphone Sanity, talks with Ron Deal about 8 major concerns to consider that will keep smartphones from invading your home and hijacking your child. Show Notes and Resources Lea…
 
Did you know there was such a thing as ‘Tater Tot Day’? When we have fun together, we connect better, and we see less family struggles. Here are some ideas where you can use these random holidays to create all kinds of fun and laughing moments with your family. We share what this can look like from an easy quick thing all the way to a planned-out t…
 
Family: A link to the past and a bridge to the future.Knowing family history tells us who we are and what we’re made of. Here’s the blended-family trap: Sometimes, the adults are so focused on the new family they inadvertently step on the children’s past. Like when a stepparent demands a child call them Mom or Dad, it feels like they're erasing the…
 
Is your blend like a fraction broken out this way? 92% bio-mom calling the shots and 8% bio-dad preventing an all-out war? How do you protect your kids when co-parenting is toxic, hostile, narcissistic, or otherwise threatening? We start with the basics - defining co-parenting and parallel parenting. In our FB community this is a BIG topic. Let's t…
 
I’m sure you’ve heard that money problems are the number one cause of divorce, right? Well, not really.Yes, the top issues couples argue about are money, sex, and parenting. But the reason they can’t resolve those arguments is because of how they argue, their values about money, selfishness, and stubbornness. So, what’s the solution? First, make su…
 
What are you doing? Are you trying to scare us?I get a lot of responses to my resources for stepfamilies. One fairly predictable comment from dating couples is, Ron, are you trying to scare us out of getting married? No, I’m not. But I am trying to prepare you for life. Let me explain this from the other side. A lot of married stepfamily couples sa…
 
When it comes to dating, rose-colored glasses make red-flags look pink.Everyone knows love is blind, especially when we’re falling in love. Over dinner I witnessed a mature blended family couple share their thoughts about the rose-colored glasses with a younger dating couple. Don’t rush into marriage, they said. And make sure you’re ready to marry …
 
What if you could time travel to when your stepkid is a young adult, ask them a few questions on what they were thinking back then, and then go back to the present time? Do you think you might discover some new ways to approach situations in a way they might receive it better? We brought our daughter in on this episode and did just that, asked her …
 
Families in America have an uptapped energy resource.It's the life energy that comes from being loved by grandparents. Grandparents teach great life lessons. They give us a safe place to belong and offer unconditional hugs. Grandparents are important. And, they are important to blended families, too. They reach out to new family members and help th…
 
Do everything in love. 1 Corinthians 16:14 Easier read than done, eh? Get comfy, Sis! It's time to apply God's Word to stepfamily life. How do we know when love is absent? The absence of love is darkness. ❌ The absence of love is lostness. ❌ The absence of love is foolishness. ❌ The absence of love is disobedience. ❌ The absence of love is meanness…
 
It’s not just about the touchdown!!! The truth is, you don’t even have to like football to enjoy this game. Do you and your spouse struggle with getting intimate together? This is a fun and very easy way to spice up a date night. You will walk away laughing and truly enjoying spending time with each other, and you might even get a little lucky afte…
 
To kids, a photo of a parent not living with them is worth a lot more than a 1000 words.Talking about prior family pictures in a stepfamily brings out people’s passions. Biological parents want to preserve pictures for future generations. Kids need pictures and videos of family members who live in other homes. Stepparents want to know if there are …
 
Ok…it’s true. I am a habit nerd. I love studying how the brain processes intel. The thing is, our feelings, our emotions play a huge role in habits. Ever say, “I am too upset to talk to that person?” or “I’m soooo tired! I couldn’t possibly work out today.” Stepmom, we must send ourselves new messages and practice habits that lead into the outcomes…
 
If there’s a picture and you’re not in it say, Tell me about that.Stepparents ask your stepkids to tell you about their prior family. Pictures and videos from the past represent how life was and usually capture the best of times. It is a foolish stepparent who tries to erase that history; that implies the kids are a mistake. A wise stepparent asks …
 
Ron, he wants me to throw away all our old family photos. No, don’t do that.I cringe when I hear of a stepparent who asks their spouse to get rid of family photos. Or who redecorates the house soon after moving in. The message is, Your past is gone and I don’t want you to have any attachment to it. Well, that out with the old, in with the new appro…
 
Do you know how to listen beneath someone’s words?The masters of relationships know how to hear what’s not being said. What lies beneath, if you will, unlike emotions and they respond to that instead of the words on the surface. So with a co-worker who is griping about a manager you can say, it sounds like you’re discouraged. Or with a child who is…
 
Everyone knows that change inevitably comes with blending families. You might already get that, but "getting it" and embracing it are two different things. Often, couples start off in their blended family journey understanding that change is inevitable, but not fully grasping what those changes ahead might look like — for them and their kids. Then …
 
Growing up in your blended family is a journey of leveling up personally for the good of the whole! On this episode of Blended Life we discuss Julie's "word of the year", maturity, and how it applies to better blended family living. You will get to witness a first time discussion between Eric and Julie around what's recognized as needed to mature i…
 
Most of us assume we’re good listeners.Recently, as my wife was expressing her opinion about a parenting matter I thought I knew where she was headed so I jumped in. Except I was wrong which frustrated her and side-tracked the conversation. Hey, we all do it. We make assumptions that short- circuit the communication. So what do we do? First, be hum…
 
We hear all the time “my stepkid hates me” or “my husband doesn’t know how to connect with my kids.” There was a time when we said the same thing, and didn’t know how to connect with each other. There were a lot more things we said, too (lol)! We felt more like firefighters, running around trying to put out problem after problem. It’s so much bette…
 
Parents who are alienated from their children due to the behavior of a former spouse face devastating loss. But there is hope for redemption! Listen to Ron Deal's conversation with Dr. Richard Marks on how Marks re-connected with his mother as an adult and has enjoyed a healthy, thriving relationship with her for 30 years. Show Notes and Resources …
 
💥Hey, it's Saturday. And you know what that means? It's time for another Sacred Stepmama Shortie. Are you ready for today's episode? Grab your journals and pens! I've got a good cup of joe☕️, how about you? Let's get to it! How do you take what you learn in God's word and apply it to you when you are struggling with your stepmom role? One word at a…
 
Parents need to be on the same side, right? Well, what if you can’t?Biological parents in stepfamilies walk a delicate line as they back up the stepparent, and at times, speak up for their kids. How do they do that? Don’t step into the middle of every conflict. They need to figure this out on their own. But when you do have something to say to your…
 
How much time does your family spend outside? There’s all kinds of studies that show the benefits to our health from being outdoors, yet most of us stay indoors almost all day. If our mental and physical health can benefit from being outside, then let’s challenge our blended family to hang outside together more often. We give a breakdown to what th…
 
Listen, if you're on the brink of divorce, this is a story of the power of effective communication, hope and prayer. Bill and I are no strangers to communication miscues. I mean, when you spend more than eight years together with somebody not even factoring in that you have step-kids that you don't know what to do with, you will have communication …
 
Okay everyone. It’s time for a video selfie.Have you ever heard the statistic that only 7% of communication is words and the rest is non-verbal? How we say something really matters. You have a video recording feature on your smartphone, right? Well, the next time you’re upset with anyone record yourself. Most of us underestimate what our tone of vo…
 
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a …
 
Be Balanced In Your Blended Family! On this first podcast of 2023, we couldn't think of a better topic to discuss than balance. Being balanced brings so many benefits individually and to the whole; it's a worth while journey to go on. As with most things, if you want a better life experience, it begins with you. As a bonus, Julie opens up about a j…
 
Sometimes it feels like we just have to vent to somebody about the drama that goes on in our blended family. Maybe your stepkid’s relationship with you isn’t going the way you want, or you and your spouse are seeing things differently about how to parent the kids. There can be so many things that you could vent about. The question we started asking…
 
👋Introducing Sacred Stepmama Shorties - Welcome to kicking off the first episode of this pilot feature!👋 2023 marks year five that Bill and I are reading through the Bible together. Each year, we choose a different plan. I've learned so much diving into God's Word this way. We've just read about The Fall in Genesis 3. Know what strikes me? The blam…
 
You don’t even have to like reading to use this idea, and you’ll have a great time building your family relationships in the process. This is something our family stumbled onto. It has allowed a stepmom and stepdaughter’s relationship to grow even more and have a lot of fun together. Then we’ve taken this idea and morphed it into another way to con…
 
Are you tired of hearing about 🥳New Year's resolutions🥳 already? Let's focus on what is important to you specifically in 2023, whether you call it a resolution or not. If indeed it is a resolution, let's take the Daniel approach and let's resolve to not be defiled by the world's tentacles and seductive influences. These powerful spiritual forces co…
 
For kids who are moving between two homes, the BEST outcomes happen when their parents are able to collaborate well and work together. Kids need reliable support, stability and peace. You've probably heard that before… …but actually living that out can be fraught with challenges — especially if you and your former spouse struggle to communicate or …
 
You go through all kinds of blending issues in your immediate family, but how long does it take for your extended family to accept everyone? We had a few “Ah-Ha” moments after our Christmas break from spending time with our extended family (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc.). It’s crazy that we’ve been a blended family for over 15 years and still s…
 
What does it mean to work smarter, not harder? How do we apply that to our relationships and why is it important? Listen to Ron Deal and Gayla Grace talk about unique blended family dynamics and the value of strategic and intentional behavior as we build relationships. Show Notes and Resources Empowered to Love Registration Blended Family Events an…
 
A dream come true is a dream not forgotten. Ryleigh Tandy (our daughter) joins Scarlett to share how powerful and fun dream boards can be. Goal setting gives you the ability to see where you want to be and gives you the vision to reach out and make it happen. Dream boards are a fun and creative way to not just say it, but to see it. This can be a f…
 
So you know how at the end of a year everyone starts talking about what's coming up in the next year, and you hear a lot of the same old, same old? Are you making resolutions? What's the benefit of making a resolution? There are all the jokes about the people who go to the gym and they only last a few weeks and you can't wait till they're gone if y…
 
Suggest a Topic or Ask a Question Would you like us to discuss something specific or answer your question on the show? Let us know! We've made it easy. Just click here: https://www.mikeandkimcoaching.com/share Ready for some extra support? We all need some extra support along the blending journey — we're here to help. You can connect with us for a …
 
“If I could turn back time!” (a little Cher moment, lol) Unfortunately we can’t, and probably wouldn’t be good if we could. What we can do is try to stay more connected with our family in this new year, and we can do that through planning. As a blended family, we can have a lot of people we need to keep in the “know”. If we don’t, it leaves room fo…
 
Is looking at Christmas lights a tradition for your family every year? If it’s not then it could be a really fun way to hang-out with your family. If it is your thing already, we also share some cool ways you can add to the fun and make it an adventure. A few ways we share in this episode: Solo adventures with certain family members As a family out…
 
Giving Your Kids Electronics for the Holidays? Before You Do, World-Renowned Medical Doctor Shares Ten ‘911’ Tips to Protect Them from the Dangers of Social Media We all know that kids wish for the latest smartphones, laptops and tablets for the holidays. But did you know that those very gifts can turn your children into addicts and practically rui…
 
How do you hold onto your joy — even in the midst of disappointment, negativity, and difficult emotions? In our last episode, we discussed some common senerios that have the potential to steal your joy and add tension to your blended family. We wanted to help you build more awareness about these joy-stealers and understand that you're not alone… …w…
 
It’s easy to focus on all the problems we see, and most of us don’t take time to reflect on the good we’ve done. Being able to take time and reflect on some of your wins in your family is very powerful at building encouragement and hope. This is a step we don’t always take as parents enough. We can often see it as being modest or not being prideful…
 
It's the most wonderful time of year! Wait ... is it really? We want Christmas to be a season that feels magical. But too often, we feel disappointment, stress, sadness, and loneliness. Listen to Ron Deal's conversation with author and former co-host of FamilyLife Today Bob Lepine on how to find lasting joy this holiday season. Show Notes and Resou…
 
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