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A gaming, nerd culture, punch dancing wrecking crew. Having the force of 1000 Mitsubishi X-2 fighter jets, making crime think twice about robbing fatherless toddlers. (comparable to putting your ear to the sky, closing your eyes tight and hearing Randy Savage body slam Jesus through a Slim Jim.)
 
A hypothetical podcast wherein three best friends consider life's real headscratchers, like: What if, instead of comedy, Dave Chappelle was the greatest action star of our time? Or how much ranch dressing is too much ranch dressing…on a salad at Macho Man Randy Savage’s house? Think of us as your three favorite morons who all have hearts of gold (except Josh).
 
The published poet and limerick writing, motivational speaking brother of WWE Hall of Famer Macho Man Randy Savage, Lanny Poffo brings back stories of his brother and the glory days of professional wrestling with this weekly podcast. His wrestling career in the WWE was highlighted by a victory over Hulk Hogan, though nothing highlights anything more in his life than being able to share and recount stories from his past to you, the Genius Cast faithful! Join Lanny and his partner in crime, JP ...
 
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Well, folks, it’s been a long week, but the count is finally in: Instead Of, the podcast, is 176 episodes long. That’s right! Your three favorite hosts are hangin’ it up, hangin’ it down, and hangin’ it on a towel rack, respectively. We’re not kidding: this one, right here, is the very last one. Join us, each and every one of you Dear Listeners, as…
 
Hey, uh, "boo," and stuff. It's the last week in Spooktaboobular October, but if you're anything like your three favorite podcast hosts, you're feeling definitively anti-spooky this year. Instead, this week Josh plays pinball with human lives, Tapan installs dunk horns on his many basketball hoops, and Mike nurtures his burgeoning nudism. Pairings:…
 
In the strictly non-sexual holodeck here at Instead Of HQ, almost anything goes. The number two thing we use it for is fashion shows. Look! Here comes Josh down the runway with a sultry strut, sporting his signature crotch-top bodyromper in a very jazzy print. And there's Tapan, hand on his hip, beret on his head, John Silver cigarette dangling fro…
 
As the old saying goes, the road to Bob Dole's grave is paved with gingersnaps. This week on Instead Of, we learn that Bob Dole is alive, though our cherished 'snaps have crumbled for a grater cause. By the Untethered Horse, we solemnly swear that in this one, Josh adds bitters to his cheesecake, Mike becomes Fully Integrated with The Customer Serv…
 
Dear Apple Podcasts, Boy did this week's Instead Of suck! The hosts—a fish hatcher, a sexy Tesla intern, and an autocratic iconoclast—do everything from slander the sex moves of the great and powerful Elon Musk to plot the defenestration of Mickey Mouse himself. This podcast must be stopped. No more pee trauma. No more mustache play. Enough is enou…
 
Look, everybody makes mistakes. Some of us get fired for performance reasons eighteen months ago and justifiably hide it from our friends and family, while others do unspeakably monstrous things like play anthology TV series out of order. We're here to tell you: it's okay. First of all, there's probably a great Fargo recap vid. And second, you need…
 
This week, it's movie night! First up in our triple feature is the latest MJH/Dave Chappelle vehicle, and let's just say: Executive Producer Josh Harrison is a dirty, no-good liar. Next up, Mike Bogart stars as Krunklestiltskin in the movie it took a cult to make: Cats II. Grounding out the night, it's the Ultimate Director's Cut of the 2004 cult c…
 
Any wedding attendee will tell you that the best part of attending a wedding is making small talk with your fellow wedding attendees. Much like a grandparent using Zoom for the third time, in this one we struggle to comprehend virtual wedding etiquette, resulting in: an icebreaker about the random, unfeeling nature of the universe; a marriage betwe…
 
Good evening, and welcome to the Instead Of NewsHour. Our top story tonight: Disturbing found footage of a turkey trot in Boston is raising new questions in the mysterious disappearance of local turkey Josh Harrison. In sports, superstar devoicalist Tapan Jani puts his unbeaten record on the line in the Devoice Challenge. And on the lighter side, r…
 
Shakespeare once said, "That which we call a grape by any other name would taste as sweet." Much like that quotation, Shakespeare was way off. This week on Instead Of, we eat your organs during the ultimate single-mouth battle to the death: It's cherries vs. grapes. Mike vs. his fedora. Josh vs. gravity. Tapan vs. late-stage capitalism. Fasten your…
 
Here at ZipVan Winkle’s, we take all the waking stress out of moving. You know how, when you’re awake, moving sucks? That’s where we come in. ZipVan Winkle’s is built on the timeless idea that when you’re asleep, you don’t know what’s going on. With our patented Right Angle-Identifying technology, you can rest assured that we’ll never cut corners. …
 
When it comes right down to it, folks, the thing about this week's episode is that it's hard to explain, right? It's even hard for us, and we've been studying it for years! But if you can give us a little of your time and attention for the next 45 minutes or so, you just might learn something new. So let's get started! Did you know that Josh wears …
 
There's no other way to say it: This week, your hosts shed all pretense and artifice, calmly throttling the life out of our cooler, younger selves as we make a dispassionate defense of the categorical imperative to maximize one's cribbage score against one's girlfriend. Seven years post-Gangnam Style, we here at Instead Of are of an age where being…
 
If you're anything like us, and you've recently been on a drug-fueled stream-of-consciousness off-roadtrip with your best buds, you'll understand exactly what we mean when we say that Josh's body is not only a waterpark but also all seven layers of Hell. This week, we get our feet dirty (while they're not nailed down) and really connect with the Ea…
 
Hey, guys! Welcome to Instead Of! This week's BDSM ASMR video is sponsored by ropes. We here at Instead Of are definitely not materials science... scientists, we're just globetrotting YouTubers. But let us be the first to tell you: these rope things are great. Next time you're tying a baker's dozen (or more!) mattresses to your truck, try a rope. A…
 
A lot of people will tell you that deodorizing your elbowpits is stupid, but we here at Instead Of are a tufty bunch. When we're not rattailing it at IOHQ, we're hightailing it to such places as Lansing, Michigan, the least expected state capital on the map. Yea, verily, in this one we spend ten good minutes of your time naming a fair chunk of the …
 
Much like America at-large, your faithful hosts are having a weird one this week, and we must therefore beg for your forgiveness on a number of counts, chief among which is Josh's subpoen-able Pee Movie. Lo, the teen knew not what he would commit to video literally forever, and yet, like us all once we really get going, he could not stop. Later on,…
 
Soup be damned! We're going nuts-deep this Fourth of July, which means a whole lot of misinterpreted idioms for us and five pairs of wax lips a year for every American. Instead of fireworks, we're celebrating our independence by downing a couple lava shots, putting on some highly flammable facewear, and heading to the biggest movie of the summer: n…
 
INT. “WIN IT ALL WITH MIKE BOGART” SOUNDSTAGE - NIGHT JOSH kneels, head in hands, on a stage strewn with bloody gray feathers. A falcon, perched on a sawhorse, preens itself to stage left. Shocked murmurs echo from the TV audience. JOSH Not my cygnets! How could you, Falcor!? TAPAN enters the stage, followed by MIKE. JOSH reaches for the saw at his…
 
This week, your hosts are all househens and clamhands as we celebrate the nation's numerous and individual small businesses, each of which is unique in its similarity. Among the multitude of self-same businesses large and small, we identify definite outliers: Blacktop Mike's Listening Room, Tapan & Andy's Auto Body, and Succulent Josh's Murder-for-…
 
From spider web hammocks to dark tan cookware, here in Episode 155 we cover everything you need to make your home Instead Of chic. First: appliances. If it's not a Whirlpool, get rid of it. Second: spider crafts. This one is pretty self-evident. Third: a car wash for humans. We can't believe you don't already have this. And finally: pots and pantil…
 
When it comes to insightful on-the-spot introspection, we're probably not the first show you think of, and that makes a lot of sense. This week, we give it our best shot anyway. We also workshop inspirational whale slogans, denigrate corporate COVID-jingles, and bring a Horse to a Tag fight. Pairings: aclu.org; eji.org; naacpldf.org…
 
When it comes to mail fraud, this podcast has a firm position: Yes. Here at Instead Of HQ, we open other peoples' mail all the time, and you know what? It's even more thrilling than it sounds. We found all kinds of stuff in there this week, including: Josh's fervent teenage social-ishm, Mike Bogart and the Reluctant Witches, and the bad 49% of Tapa…
 
Breathe deep, Dear Listener! That sweet scent is the fecund seed of spring (or, as we here at Instead Of HQ like to call it, humping season). Yes, your hosts have had sex before, so we recognize all the trademark signs of the season: The birds are humping, the trees are humping, and the sex dolls are washing up on the world’s shores. So plug up you…
 
From new customs to new costumes, we're all adopting novel habits and hairstyles here in quarantine—especially Josh. This week, your resident hairline hardliner has his Travis Bickle Britney moment, while also-host Mike allays all his anxieties among avian-adjacent allies in alleys, and equal-host Tapan tries triumphantly to stamp a talkative teen …
 
Here at Instead Of HQ, we’ve been venturing out of our communal bunker one host at a time, and Oh! the things we’ve seen. Pointillism parks, boastful Ohioans, beavers... the list ends there. There’s really not much going on. But that doesn’t mean we can’t have a funky party in celebration of Episode 150! Come, join us in our anti-viral communal bun…
 
Here we are, the 15th most popular podcast in the Top 14, teetering on the precipice of 150 episodes, and what do we have to show for it? Bill Macy might recognize us in a GameWorks, sure, but who cares? Listen, it's high time we reinvent ourselves. It's time we dry off our feet, fold up our lips, and get serious. We're coming at you this week with…
 
Deep within the furthest recesses of space, quasi-transmogrified by multivalent shards of fractional time, this week's episode is brought to you in quantum simulcast from both inside and outside the neediest, most approval-seeking wormhole in the universe, which is paradoxically contained within each and every cell that makes up your very brain. Mu…
 
In nomine Ovum, et Hominem, et Lepus sancti... We gather here today to celebrate the life and death of a very special egg some of us like to call Humpty, and the sacrifice He made to vanquish that nasty Eggman way back when. Now, children, we have a special Tuesday School tradition in store for you. Mhm, pick up your eggs. Form a line against the w…
 
Do you know how many astronauts are in space right now? When's the last time an astronaut told you a funny joke? When's the last time an astronaut changed your tire? When's the last time an astronaut made an impact on your life in any way? Look, folks, let's face it: Astronauts have been freeloading here on Earth for years now. This week, we're not…
 
If there's one thing your hosts are certified experts in, it's plowing, sowing, cultivating a field to maturity and then harvesting the fruits of our labor (in this case the fruit is wheat). That's right, it's a classic farm-to-table tale in which Mike goes from owning a whole farm to owning one table at the hands of the treacherous Jig Oinkle and …
 
If you're taking the sudden return of Blackbeard's ghost as seriously as we are, by now, all your bathtubs are full of chili. Here at Instead Of HQ, that goddamn disgusting bathtub chili is starting to look as good as a golden shower from a bullet train honey cannon. You see, your hosts have been working up an appetite. We know what's coming. We've…
 
Soooo things have moved quickly since our last episode... including Josh! He's bouncing back to an empty apartment in Boston next week, and as his business partners and fractional-brothers, Mike and Tapan are here to help him generate entertaining analog content with a no-masturbation-allowed brainstorming session. Ideas include: losing his sanity …
 
Have you ever woken up from a nap with lasagna on your shirt and when you look out the window you see a bunch of chill-looking attractive people across the street hanging out and having a great time? With Tapan, Mike, and Josh's Certified Rager Total Party Solution™, you don't *need* to be invited. As cool guys ourselves, we combined all the sickes…
 
We'll be Frank: Like our TV forefathers of old, this week we find ourselves performing several feats of mid-December strength. But far be it from us to impose our godless Festivusian ideals on your non-specific holiday cheer; we're just here to save folks from car fires we started and dunk on conventional unicycles. Later on, Josh puts the AY! AY! …
 
😘 As you’ll see in this one, a Josh-less podcast is a lot like a sexless marriage. Josh is spending “time” with his “family” this Thanksgiving, but longtime couple Mike and Tapan are here to sit in bed and bicker about Tapan’s new mustache. That’s right, Tapan’s got a Dali/Chaplin thing going on, and boy can we see how pretty his mouth is now. Late…
 
Well, folks, it might finally be time to pack the ol' podcast in. Call 'er quits. Drop the bologna curtain, as they say. Now, before you start seeing red, hear us out—we pull quite a Fonzie this week, and not in the cute-older-Henry-Winkler-renaissance-we're-all-enjoying sense. We jump over so many god damn sharks in this one, you won't believe you…
 
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