We start after a long hiatus with an Urban Legend: sneezing while on the toilet increases poop removal volume by 30-60%, which can decrease the risk of bum and poop cancers. Aren't you glad you know this now? It's all about timing! We discuss what coarseness of pepper is best for provoking a bowel clearing sneeze. But what if you poop too much? The…

We hope you will enjoy listening to this episode! Back in the day, I guess. Nope, that doesn't really work, does it? T-Bone heard somewhere that birds can regenerate damaged hearing. It's not clear if we're talking about birds from rock concerts or those near other loud birds. But whatever the cause, it's quite cool they might give us clues for reg…

We have a new contest! This is "Who's That Bird: Celebrity Edition", in which Warren will play the sound of a celebrity and the rest of us need to guess who it is. The celebrity is probably not a bird, and may not even be making bird noises, but you'll have to listen to be sure. Warren patiently explains this multiple times, and even so we're not v…

In part 2 of our name 5 things series, we make slightly more progress in finding possible animal opponents that a human might be able to take on in a fight, assuming the opponent is human-sized. As noted in part 1, the question is fraught with complexity. You have to fight the organism in its own habitat, but you may be allowed time to put on boots…

After a whole episode of buildup (see Holy Straw, Batman), Warren finally gets the chance to introduce his new topic: name 5 animals, that if they were human-sized, you think you could take them. The rules of this strange fight club have you fighting in the organism's own habitat, so there are no freebies against whales even if you have three pillo…

Warren has a perfect comeback topic to get back into the swing of things after a long hiatus, but first a warm-up question: how many holes does a straw have? Are you sure? What about a donut? What about a person? As usual – wait, can we say as usual when we record every year or so? Yeah, whatever, as usual, we do a bit of rambling while counting ho…

Ballpark Talk is back, due to its overwhelming previous success! Snorkelling vs. being a peeping tom. Same ballpark? Perspective matters here: who is peeping on whom? Warren makes a compelling case that some situations involve teammates. It probably makes sense, maybe? I don't know. We somehow end up discussing whether curtains should maybe be on t…

Normally, podcasts will edit out the part of a recording where the hosts decide what to do. But we roll a different way from normal podcasts, so you get a short and not terribly interesting behind-the-scenes look at Warren introducing the possibilities. Anyway, we start a new version of the 'Who's that bird?' contest, but in this case Warren will n…

We accidentally create a new segment to start this episode because we got caught up in whether our DJ was dead or his estate needed to spin the tunes. What is an estate? Do you need to have anything? What if you're dead? Does real estate imply you have an estate? What if the teddybear you get buried with was bequeathed to someone else? What if none…

We have a new segment, called "Ballpark Talk", in which the premise is to decide whether two things are in the same ballpark or different ones. Today's inaugural topic: cannibalism versus eating a pet. As usual, we explore many of the philosophical nuances here. What if it's a pet you know, versus a person you don't? What if the person died acciden…

Spotify wants us to have a trailer, so here you go. This is a shortened episode featuring a brand new segment, called "Ballpark Talk", in which the premise is to decide whether two things are in the same ballpark or different ones. Today's inaugural topic: cannibalism versus eating a pet. Enjoy! Theme music courtesy of General Patton vs. The X-Ecut…

This podcast was a rare occasion when most of us were in the same room. This means that the audio is generally exquisite since we are using T-Bone's studio, but also somewhat annoying because Warren insists on giving listeners cues of our eating and drinking. Do judges have their own gavels, or is one provided in the courtroom? What if someone brea…

An oft-discussed but not previously resolved question: is Die Hard a Christmas movie? We settle the matter, I guess, provided you don't care very much about the matter in the first place. Turns out the whole question turns on the secret, possibly offscreen shenanigans between Bruce and the security guard. If you can read between the scenes to imagi…

Welcome back! Have you washed your hands? Either way, keep your soggy end out of the dip. Warren asks whether Timmy was right in suggesting that George from Seinfeld put his whole mouth in the tip. Remember the before-time, when this might have been a question? It's hard to imagine now, but at one stage it was somewhat defensible to dip near someon…

The coronavirus lockdown worldwide has everyone adjusting to a new reality, including us. There are a lot of pressing issues, and we're not qualified to talk about any of those, so we thought we would solve some less-pressing problems. We start somewhat mysteriously with T-Bone mentioning how he recently entertained some higher-ups for a super-secr…

For this episode, we revisit Inventions and Shit, our segment in which we present ideas of new inventions for free (mostly) in case any venture capitalists are listening. Warren's latest idea is a toilet water warmer, which, you may have guessed, warms the water in your toilet. There are several major benefits (or perhaps problems) depending on you…

Having been stuck on Season 11 for a while, we skipped 12 and went straight to 13. Bad luck be damned! By the way, have you been eating salami wrong? Quite possibly. Anyway, this episode marks a return to our contest feature Nature Walk, Who's That Bird Non-Bird Edition, Round 5. How dramatic! For this contest, we have to listen to an audio clip of…

I was going to write about Warren's introduction of a topic, and I guess I have. SPOILER ALERT: Warren mentions more than one thing not particularly central to the latest Predator movie that had (until our discussion) seemed unbelievable, but we resolve that for him. Then, for our segment "How About That?", Warren bring up the Pepto Bismol and Nyqu…

This episode starts with a Nature Walk, featuring Who's That Bird, non-bird edition, possibly round 4. T-Bone's dog previous success has him well ahead, maybe. Warren plays the sound of a nonbird, and each of us has to guess what the nonbird looks like, what it's trying to communicate, and provide the collective term for it. We each take a guess, w…

This episode, Warren describes a situation in his work bathrooms that has been troubling him: one day the overseers at Warren's office replaced the paper towels with air dryers. However, some people must have complained, because at some point someone added a box containing so-called "door tissues". This way, people who had previously used paper tow…

This episode involves a Nature Walk contest, "Who's That Non-Bird: Killer Edition". (We'll save the killer birds for another day.) The contest question is this: which non-birds are responsible for the most human deaths in the world per year? Warren asks the rest of us to guess the top 11. Here's a little foreshadowing: Warren will cite some stats f…

Merry Tedmas everyone! In the spirit of the holidays, and just in case you have a collector in your Secret Santa exchange pool, in this episode we try to Name 5 Things that are Bad Ideas for collectible products. For example, Warren explains that cereal producers had tried to make cereal boxes collectible, which is a real thing (https://www.eater.c…

This week we open the show uncertain about Carol Burnett's status. Turns out: still funny! Then we try to name five possible sport team names that are strange, yet somehow intimidating. Warren's suggested example is "The Long Starers". We come up with many suggestions, but most of them are perhaps more off-putting than intimidating. Anyway, our dis…

This episode aims not to provoke. Consider yourself warned! We begin with a "How about that?" segment, in which Warren notes that both words tit and boob are palindromes. How about that? We discuss maintaining palindromiety for plurals of palindromes, but it's a bit controversial, and maybe even dangerously close to provocative. To avoid crossing a…

In this episode, we bring you a nice relaxing audio bath, because you deserve it. Warren presents Pooh Corner to start us off, by recounting an incident on a small plane in which the toilet contained no sink, but only hand sanitizer. Is this an adequate solution? What if (however it happened), you actually got poop on your hand? Would the sanitizer…

Recently the Supreme Court of Canada clarified what constitutes bestiality, and apparently it must involve penetration. But this raises a host of new questions, including the issue of the peanut butter loophole. Are you for or against it? On this week's Nature Walk, we resume our Who's That Bird non-bird edition contest with round 3. Feel free to p…

T-Bone brings up a recent episode on Vice featuring FMT: fecal matter transplants. Yup, it's that kind of episode. But before you flee in terror, this is a legitimate topic, honest. Turns out that for a subset of people, FMT is a real life-changer. And some animals (horses, rabbits, and assassin bugs) have their own version of FMT, but it usually i…

Have you had enough of the Mongolians? I bet you haven't, and we're here to help. We start this week's episode with some technical insight into sound production for Bollywood films. It turns out that Bollywood is doing some things regarding audio recording inefficiently, and losing ambience and texture in sounds as it does it. (We briefly get sidet…

We begin this week by discussing the many sporting achievements of famous Mongolians. By many, we mean really 3, which is not to insult Mongolia but rather to reflect our quickly performed poor research on a Wikipedia page, which, incidentally, actually only named 2/3 of the athletes we discuss. Then most of the episode is devoted to another editio…

After an unexpected but somehow still predictable delay, welcome to Season 11! Wow. We start with Foody Goody, but trust me, you won't want to be eating yourself while you listen. At least not at the start. Yuck. Anyway, feel free to skip ahead to 02:40, and you'll hear us conduct round 3 of "What am I eating and what am I drinking and toasting to?…

While adjusting T-Bone's audio, we accidentally start to consider the many ways in which humans like donuts. You may be surprised to hear some of them! Inevitably, that discussion leads us to flatworms, of course. If you're not aware of hypodermic insemination, or haven't thought about how it might affect a lonely worm, you are in for a real treat.…

After another transparent attempt at generating internet traffic, Warren explains his admiration for the Coors shotgun can, which persists in spite of his dislike for the beer itself. Find out how Warren does physiotherapy on himself to get ready for hockey, and the danger with three syllable words. You never know what's gonna happen! At least some…

In this special Tedmas edition of Foody Goody, this year we establish the "burger" as "traditional holiday food". But how do we define a burger? If you think this is straightforward, you haven't thought about it enough. Does it need toppings? What are acceptable patty constituents? What shape should the patty take? Hot? Cold? Cooking method? So man…

Welcome to another edition of Inventions and Shit! John starts the segment with a suggestion for a new food product based on a geometry pun, and that somehow leads us to the pedagogical consequences of improper mathematical terms by fast food franchises. Obviously. The we resume our contest �Who's that bird?� contest (non-bird edition) with round t…

We present for your consideration a new social problem: Warren was reaching for a food item from the top shelf at the grocery store, and some guy on a mobility scooter offered to help him reach. How do you think Warren handled this? Yup, you're right. It was awkward for a number of reasons that have to do with both the situation and Warren's reacti…

We had some technical difficulties this week, which required Luc to type most of his contributions (but the laughing seems to work, most of the time). See if you can tell the difference, huh? In the episode, we start a new contest: Who's That Bird? (Non Bird Edition). Warren awards three points per round: one point for describing the non-bird's app…

We start out this episode with great difficulty refining the title, but we get there eventually... sort of. Then we ponder what would happen if everybody lost the ability or capability to hiccup. This leads to an interesting discussion about drinking water upside, thumps, and horse magazines. And we also get side-tracked by famous Italian cartoon s…

In this episode's Nature Walk (with a dramatic echo), Warren describes a recent study of cockroaches (cool!) in which the studied shelter choice in cockroaches. (Ame et al., 2006, PNAS) Thanks for the science, folks! In their study, the authors released 50 cockroaches into a cage containing three enclosures that could contain 40 cockroaches each. T…

Are you ready for a pineapple show? Well, if not, don't worry. This whole show is designed to get you ready for the pineapple show, I guess. Somehow we start the hype by talking about our guest DJ, Jacco Macacco. If you haven't yet heard about Jacco, you're in for a (somewhat horrifying) treat! The late 1790s were apparently full of spectacles that…

In this week's edition of Name 5 Things, we try to name five phobias that are probably too specific to be an actual concern. For example, the fear of peeing your pants in a colour other than yellow while being covered from head to toe in processed cheese. Turns out the processed cheese bit is essential to making this particular phobia too specific …

This show is an extended episode of Urban Legend: did you know that in the middle ages, it was fashionable to serve a gelatin dessert made from the party host's nail clippings, which would impart a flavour of the host to the guests? Well, it's apparently upsettingly true, even if the details of preparing this kind of specialty have been lost to tim…

We kick off the new year with an Urban Legend: did you know that before every game, famous Canadian basketballer Steve Nash watches the final game in the movie Teen Wolf for inspiration? He also has a fondness for fat basketball players (attribution: see the movie), and would like to change his team name. And he likes passing. Without much by way o…

Merry Tedmas, everyone! After a long hiatus, in honour of the season we return to the Superhero's Phone Booth for a special festive Tedmas session. The superhero is� Candy Cane Boy! He runs around poking people with his magical candy cane, and anyone he pokes who has been naughty instantly disintegrates into a snowy white powder (not sugar, just bu…

This episode we finally take another nature walk! The topic this week: unicorns. OK, so maybe it's not as natural as usual, but there's a lot of undiscovered country concerning unicorns, so it's a rich vein to mine. Much of our discussion focuses on the proper dimensions of things: how many cubits per horn, how big a unicorn sleeping kennel should …

By the time you get through the intro, you'll be suspecting something awful is coming your way. Aaaaannndd, you're right. We start by talking about deep fried things, but then the discussion takes a sharp turn to the nasty. Sorry, but we need to get this out of our system (ahem) every once and a while. For those of you who don't like discussions of…

As promised, and perhaps much sooner than expected (since we don't encourage expectations of any sort), we present for you, round 3 of What am I eating? We're increasing some constraints, and relaxing others: now one of us needs to eat a food and a drink, plus toast someone, but it no longer has to be something we would all eat. Are you satisfied, …

We start this week with the increasingly irregular mailsack segment, where loyal listener Josh sends in a complimentary email, but prods us to complete at long last our "What am I eating?" contest. The incredibly loyal and patient listeners among you will know that we began the contest with two editions quite some time ago, but never really got aro…

This week Warren presents us with a real quandary in Foody Goody: what is the difference between soup and tea? If you think this is easy, hold on! It's a lot more complicated than you think, and most of the criteria we first propose are clearly violated by one or more exceptions that disprove the rule. Consider the following questions: "If you made…

To begin, Warren asks us to name 5 pairs of words, that if they were anagrams, would work well in a dyslexia joke. Turns out this is a pretty tough assignment when one has limited inspiration. See if you can better our contributions (I'll bet you can), and email us with your suggestions: maskedman@limitedappeal.net. Then, in Polish the Bishop, Warr…

We kick off a brand new season with a new edition from our "staggeringly popular" segment, "How about that?" Warren describes the circumstances leading up to and surrounding the trial of a 17th century "habitual troublemaker" (great job if you can get it) George Spencer, who was convicted of bestiality (sort of � listen for the details) on the basi…