Sexy Sea Snakes on OnlyFans — Ross Noble, Alice Fraser, Simon Holmes à Court, Lewis Hobba, Dan Ilic.

A Rational Fear

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G'day Fearmongers —

Ross Noble from The Ross Noble Podcast joins us from hotel quarantine in Perth for his A Rational Fear debut. As a result the podcast this week is about double the usual length, with double the jokes. Also joining Lewis and I is long time fearmonger Alice Fraser who managed to fit us in her gruelling 15 podcasts a day schedule.

On the menu this week:

• Sea Snakes are having sex with scuba divers.

• OnlyFans going back on their prudish promises.

• The AFP's April Fools Joke gone wrong.

• The ACT and NSW government are fighting over poo.

• Disrupting the two-party system in Australia to get meaningful climate legislation at the next election with Simon Holmes à Court. He pops in to tells us about his Climate 200 campaign. It's

We have also have new “Hellsong” A Rational Gear in our RedBubble store:

Be sure to buy one before we go to hell, or court, or jail. Who knows? Maybe you'll be allowed to travel to Mexico if you wear it in your DFAT meeting.

Cheers

Dan Ilic

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Bertha Announcement 0:00
This podcast is supported in part by the birth of foundation.

Dan Ilic 0:04
Good evening, Lewis. Hello, Daniel. How are you? I'm good. I was doing some work for the show this week and I discovered a list about podcasts. And we are in the top 100 podcasts in Australia.

Lewis Hobba 0:18
I would love to know what the title of that list is. We just wish were a little bit better.

Dan Ilic 0:26
Can you guess what number we were on this list?

Lewis Hobba 0:29
I mean, out of 100 I we were we in the nervous 90s? Yes. Schedule just scraped in

Dan Ilic 0:40
97. We had 97 on this 197

Lewis Hobba 0:45
everything rides on this podcast. If it's good, we could be you know, getting down to number one, if it fucks up. And this is to our beautiful guests about to join us if you fucked this up. To 100 we will come for you.

Dan Ilic 0:58
Hey, I've got a new idea for our Patreon members, I thought the next 10 Patreon members who gave us 50 bucks a month I've got this thing for the election that I'd like to do, which would be to put up plaques around the seat of cook saying on this spot during a national crisis. Scott Morrison did nothing. And I just we just really wonderful to have these plaques going much like the plaque we put out the front of engadine McDonald's commemorates Scott Morrison pulling his pants at the 2003 subarray Grand Final. But this one I thought, well, if someone gives us 50 bucks, we'll put their name on it as well to dedicate it to them.

Lewis Hobba 1:32
If someone gives us $50,000 Can we do a marble statue of just a man doing nothing? In a Hawaiian shirt? dropping a hose? Yes, yes, we'll put it we'll put it up

Dan Ilic 1:42
in Sutherland Shire, so everyone can go and pay homage to it. So that's it for Patreon, head over to patreon.com forward slash irrational fear and drop us 50 bucks and we'll put your name on a plaque too. I'm recording my end of irrational fear on gadigal land in the eora nation sovereignty was never ceded. We need a treaty. Let's start the show

Unknown Speaker 2:01
on rational fear contains naughty words like bricks, Canberra and gum and section audio or rational view recommended listening by immature audio.

Dan Ilic 2:14
Tonight, Australia's richest performance the wiggles will go broke if they go work. That's according to Matt Canavan writing in the Australian which hasn't turned a profit since 1964. And damning reports from a Catholic media organisation reveals priests in the US and the Vatican on Grindr, meaning they're receiving much more than the body of Christ and contrast released a brand new ad that depicts a world where Australians could fly internationally again. It's been so successful that it's made every shareholder cry. It's the 27th of August 2021. In a jig that DVD of the croods this is irrational fear.

Hi, welcome to rational feet. I'm your host former premier of Tasmania. Let's meet our fear mongers for tonight. She is the host of three podcasts and a guest on many more. She's a zinger slinger and a banjo swinger. It's Alice Fraser Welcome.

Alice Fraser 3:15
Hello, Danny ledge pleasure to be here. I mean, I'm here where I've been since lockdown began two months ago, but psychologically I'm with you.

Dan Ilic 3:25
And he's the non sequiturs non sequitur stuck in a room without any toys at all. Yes, he's in hotel quarantine. And pastor Ross Noble. Hello. Hi, how are you? fairing in in lockdown quarantine again, Ross.

Unknown Speaker 3:39
You know what I cannot be doing with these people that just go like, Oh my god, I'm locked up inside. I've done it. Now. This is what I did two weeks in hotel quarantine. I've done four weeks quarantine in my own home, as well. Yeah, I know some people struggle with it. But you could not find a human being more more equipped to deal with just being in a room that's just in their own. Family like it's one of those things where if I if I didn't have a wife and two children, I would literally just do this. I do this all the time. Why? guesting on people's podcasts? Yeah, pretty much. I mean. I know not everyone can just just beat people out.

Lewis Hobba 4:27
Yeah. Dan literally just has like a Google Alert set for Canadian in quarantine. And as soon as he said he's like, Hello, I noticed you have literally nothing else to do. Coming up. comes up on the app. This little thing where you put your thing in? alert all podcasts? Yeah, you're like, would you like to check into this hotel? Yes. Would you like to check into irrational fear? inevitably? Yes,

Dan Ilic 4:51
yeah, we've had more guests on our inner from hotel quarantine than the COVID safe app. It's actually found people with COVID And finally he's the Uptown Girl of podcasting. It's Lewis Nova.

Lewis Hobba 5:03
Hello. Yeah, that's right. I mean, boy, for a person who had never listened to Billy Joel until about a month ago, boy, but I listen to a lot of Billy Joel in the last month. It's something about the sort of dad level emotion that is really appropriate for lockdown. Like it gives you a hint of emotion. It's like a memory of emotion but doesn't actually make you feel anything which means you're in no danger of bursting into tears in public. Forever Billy Joel song. Oh, well, I'm so glad you asked I if listeners of the podcast would know that. A few weeks ago in a bit of a lockdown panic. When I ran out of things to do. I bought a children's keyboard and decided to learn piano. And so I the song I picked because it just happened to be on a random shuffle playlist at the time was Billy Joel's Vienna. So now that's probably my favourite Billy Joel song.

Unknown Speaker 5:54
Could I put forward as a challenge that you do? That you play the Ultravox classic Vienna and you work your way through all of the songs. When you get out of the quarantine party, you could do that? Sure.

Lewis Hobba 6:12
Just to Vienna.

Unknown Speaker 6:15
You never live yet you never the Vienna show in Vienna. And you go directly up against old Andrea, are you? Yeah. He's always bothering people in Vienna.

Lewis Hobba 6:31
I would love to be the guy that takes down ratio.

Alice Fraser 6:34
For every person that remove bothers there are 10 old ladies for whom he is the pinnacle of their sexual enlightenment. It's funny isn't

Unknown Speaker 6:41
it is because when an old lady dies at a real concert, to more grow in their place?

Lewis Hobba 6:50
The Andre Hydra

Unknown Speaker 6:52
but how good is how good is Renu? The fact that he managed nobody since Kevin Brody Wilson managed to infiltrate Australian petrol stations.

Dan Ilic 7:04
Like you can line up at a post office and there's like Andre rieu on DVD like who is buying Andre telling you

Alice Fraser 7:12
a friend of mine did contact juggling with you know those glass balls and he would do that basking in, in markets and the number of ladies who approached him to come and do a strip show as the Goblin King from the labyrinth. I feel like Andre was incredibly high, like put disproportionate. So I would say that Andre Rio is that for the postmenopausal demographic he has that moment of sexual awakening

Unknown Speaker 7:40
What are you've hit on there though right which and I'm sure this is all news to you. You'll know this right? But the the guy that did the the glass ball manipulation was a guy called Michael Moore Shen

Lewis Hobba 7:55
we all know emotion

Unknown Speaker 7:58
So Michael motion was the guy that was behind Bali and was doing all the stuff with the with the balls and that and that now makes me happy to think that like basically he is a Michael motion impersonator and he's getting the legs even even more shed even though the fact he was the most highly skilled. Glasspool manipulator. I don't think that's enough to get the ladies

Lewis Hobba 8:25
You're the best in the world at the only and you're the also the only person who does it. It's not necessarily that impressive.

Unknown Speaker 8:33
Well, Alice's friend does it. He's out there trying to where where does he do this class ball manipulation?

Alice Fraser 8:39
It is a markets busking. It seems to work it seems like David Bowie in the labyrinth is the equivalent of Princess Leia in the Star Wars for that generation. That's the moment of suddenly realising extra hands on an old lady's body.

Dan Ilic 8:56
Coming up on the podcast, we have Simon Holmes accord he's popping by to tell us about a cunning plan to short circuit party politics in Australia. We'll ask him if he's actually Clive Palmer in disguise. But first, here's a message from this week's sponsor. At the Australian Government, we know that coal powered electricity plants are running out of time. On one hand, they're old, expensive, and make climate change worse every minute they run. But on the other hand, the coal industry also provides critical baseload donations to the LNP. So that's why we're launching colpi. We're spending $7 billion a year to keep coal powered polluting clunkers running way past their use by data. That way the LNP can get more donations from the coal industry to stay way past our use. by date, the government could invest in new wind, solar and storage, but renewable energy is to claim to give us donations, coal keeper, a reliable source of donations at the cost of only $400 per household per year. And everyone's existence.

This week's first fear in Great Barrier Reef news sexually frustrated sea snakes are making scuba divers potential mates. Yes, a study from the Macquarie University has confirmed the reasons why sea snakes and the reef sidling up to divers and wrapping themselves around their fins and licking the water around them is because the males who have poor eyesight mistake scuba divers for females sea stakes a female Angus does this make you less or more inclined to go diving on the reef? Ross?

Unknown Speaker 10:32
Well, I mean, what an excellent excuse. What an excellent excuse. They're going for the old filthy Magoo tactic aren't really blind. I've made a terrible error. Oh, I'm so sorry. I seem to have been tangled myself. It's a me too nightmare.

Alice Fraser 10:52
continental is just a very simple form of Braille. I wonder what just two dots I wonder what? No, thank you. Please stop

Unknown Speaker 11:06
because.dot.in Morse code that's s, isn't it? So? s so it would just be a mix the sound of air coming out,

Lewis Hobba 11:20
like the sound of a regular snake and they're like, well, I'm a snake You seem to be a regular snake. Let's make this work.

Alice Fraser 11:26
I find this really positive and hopeful that even though I mean the sea snakes are saying they have bad eyesight all the scientists are saying the sea snakes have a bad eyesight. I'm not gonna put words in the mouth of the sea snakes, but the sea snakes are clearly attracted to the divers, even if they have bad eyesight. I feel like this is a positive sign that sea snakes like a bit of junk in the trunk. Like wetsuit fetish. quite quite high on the high neoprene.

Lewis Hobba 11:55
Yeah, who knew? Who knew I personally, as someone who has been in lockdown for about three months, I've never wanted to scuba dive more I just want to be touched.

Dan Ilic 12:07
This is interesting here it says the males tend to flick out their tongues. However, the most striking behaviour occurred after 13 incidences where males rapidly chased divers underwater when they swam away. A researcher said females don't do any chasing. They do the flaming during mating. So swimming away from a male snake is mimicking courtship behaviour. I don't think I've actually felt more in common with the snake ever. This is incredible.

Alice Fraser 12:32
This makes me feel like I get it. I feel a real burden of responsibility now to sort of educate female sea snakes about taking control of your own sexuality and going after what you want. I'm not sure that I am equipped to fully communicate with sea snakes on such complex matters is good sent

Dan Ilic 12:49
the rate well, so interesting about the research has said they suspect the snakes chased after divers after they failed a mating attempt. So the divers themselves are like sloppy seconds. They were just like, get there like a rebound person. It's clear that the most approaches to divers were males who'd lost contact with females that were pursuing. Oh my god, imagine, imagine how sad you are being a diver, you know, realising that

Lewis Hobba 13:12
you're not the number one choice? Yeah, it also just sounds like kind of the beginning of the El incel movement.

Alice Fraser 13:21
ancl movement.

Dan Ilic 13:24
The comments of that mirror article, there's one there from three days ago from a guy called Jonathan Wilder. It said, I was a scuba, I was scuba diving with a friend in a black wetsuit, and a seal became very interested. It was funny at the time, but it was a large animal.

Unknown Speaker 13:42
Well, if somebody it's an old joke, but you know if the he could somebody comes out of the water, what's up with your diving gear, a blue seal? You can't get a snake are rational fear. If it

Unknown Speaker 13:57
bites you what would it do? That would kill you? They're much more venomous than then a cobra. Right? Yeah, they're more of a cobra much more. Right. So so people are going swimming again, right? Your fear is rational.

Dan Ilic 14:12
This week second fear. If you listen to last week's podcast, we spoke a lot about only fans, the website that allows horny people to pay money for sexy people to show them sexy bits so you can get off and move on with the rest of their day. Well, the very next day, only fans made an incredible shocking announcement they said they were not going to allow any sexually explicit content. And they were going to demand users verify their identities with government IDs, which completely ruins the entire business model for how for very horny secret agents. Of course, users and creators have made millions of dollars on this platform and they totally flipped out and now as of today, only fans totally black back flipped on their plans to make themselves a model of decorum. So fear mongers was only fans right to backflip on on this on being totally frigid Alice

Alice Fraser 15:00
I want to talk about only fans and Pornhub. I want to talk about the whole porn industry over the whole last month because much like when you use a thing that you just bought on stage as a prop, so you can write it off on tax, I'm seeking to provide a reference point for future curious explorers that will explain my search history. And boy by researching this piece of satirical news for a long time, actually, I don't watch internet pornography, I'm not against it. In principle, I just think a lot of it is mainly geared to a very specific taste, which is to say people who are very turned on by very bad acting. And my dealer of choice for that is the Fast and the Furious movies. But it has been well.

Unknown Speaker 15:40
I mean, you can level a lot towards them. They sent a car in this space on the last one.

Unknown Speaker 15:51
When the car went off the cliff, and the plane comes in and is grabbed by a magnet. They're not in that car. They're in a green screen booth, and you genuinely believe that again.

Alice Fraser 16:07
Don't get me wrong. I am an advocate for the Fast and Furious movies. The scene in which Jason Statham rescues Vin Diesel's infant child in a baby seat, and he puts noise cancelling headphones on the baby. So it doesn't hear him killing all the people is genuinely one of the more emotional filmic experiences of my life. It's very moving that he decides Jason stage. She's like, I shouldn't be paying you for that on only fans.

Unknown Speaker 16:34
I should do that. Actually. I should do like, what is it the MSR is that what they call yourself in a bit with Jason Stephens stories. Anyway, sorry, sorry, I interrupted you different.

Unknown Speaker 16:56
Only funds,

Alice Fraser 16:57
it has been a bumper month for the adult entertainment industry. I did think about saying a banger month, but that sort of felt a bit forced and artificial. wakawaka That's what she said. First, okay. First Pornhub a couple of weeks ago launched their controversial classic nudes series. So it was sold as an interactive guide to some of the erotic art that can be found in major museums around the world, to which some of the major museums around the world objected, in particular that fitzy did not like porn hubs use of Titian's 1538 masterpiece, Venus of Urbino, as the basis of a pornographic reenactment, with the amateur adult couple known as my sweet apple. And it's a very divisive series, because the people who who like their pornography a little bit mucky, thought that this was too pretentious. And then art art history majors thought it was too inaccurate in its use of egg tempera. Then, of course, only fancy alternative to the big hubs for those who like their sexy pictures locally sourced from individual vendors, like the Boehner version of a farmer's market announced that it would be dropping adult content from its platform, not because it was being prurient, but because some payment processors threatened to withhold payment processing. And therefore, people wouldn't be able to get paid like the ancient Greek play lysistrata in which the ladies of the plot go on a sex strike to achieve a political goal. But the opposite of that if ladies were banks, and six was financially financial processing software. Of course, when only fans announced that they were going to pull out on the one thing they're famous for providing only a very small sub niche of people felt positive about being less egregiously caught blocked, and then the ones who did enjoy it had to have it explained to them that this would mean no more cut blocking content. And then they also joined in on the condemnation and then only fans has walked it back they found a payment processor who's willing to process payments, so we can all continue continue to masturbate as usual. And by usual, I don't mean to suggest that there's any normal that we should be

Dan Ilic 18:58
done yuck my yum Alice Thank you.

Lewis Hobba 19:00
My yum is in the Uffizi museum.

Alice Fraser 19:04
I think just Ross nobles impersonation of Jason Statham has revealed new depths to my sexuality that I could hit the to not suspected. So thanks for that.

Unknown Speaker 19:14
I would strap yourself in because I'm gonna directly after this, I'm gonna strip naked and recreate Rodin's the thinker.

Dan Ilic 19:28
And that is for Patreon members only so make sure you

Lewis Hobba 19:34
when they said, Oh, we can't do it because of the banks. I was just like the temerity

Unknown Speaker 19:41
bank. Have you seen anything that you've done? 1000 years since Jesus kicked you out of the place, were you thinking ever since then it's been bad, bad and now these people do

Alice Fraser 20:00
idea that any money is too dirty for a bank.

Dan Ilic 20:05
I'm worried about I'm worried about showing some cookin bowls there. But we should definitely try and get someone want more money out of that dead woman.

Alice Fraser 20:14
thing for the banks to pull the plug on this kind of content is just sort of dreadful given that a large proportion of their sort of day to day. One person income is just from overdraft fees, which is to say finding people for being poor.

Lewis Hobba 20:29
I do like that idea. I'd love to say the Commonwealth Bank had that was like which bank, the bank bank. The Commonwealth Bank has been exposed in one scandal after another.

Unknown Speaker 20:41
So you've probably heard about the banking Royal Commission, another banking scandal this week, Westpac has agreed to pay $1.3 billion for 23 million breaches of money laundering laws. This is a rational view.

Dan Ilic 20:55
This week's third fifth the AFP spent two months on an elaborate April Fool's joke that never went anywhere. We've got a wacky sense of humour. They sent an email around canvassing ideas a couple of months out of out from April Fool's. And they, they were wondering, asking the staff like, Hey, guys, how can we participate in April Fool's in the email they sent me and they said, Please keep in mind when brainstorming sensitivities in public opinion at the moment, and please consider how each of your ideas may be perceived. It's almost like they knew that this was actually going to have a FOIA request when they sent this email out. Now, according to the FBI that was published in the Crikey, one of the all that whole bunch of the ideas were blacked out, except for one, which was a parody of the infamous Canberra hot air balloon, the sky whale, except they're going to Photoshop it and put a whole bunch of surveillance cameras on each of the nipples with a little AFP cap and call it spy whales. Fear mongers is this creepy alien like creature with videos or camera cameras attached to it? would you would you appreciate this joke from the AFP, Louis?

Lewis Hobba 22:01
No. I mean, obviously, you don't want to add the AFP doing bits, you know what I mean? Like, that's, that's what I like. It would be lovely. If he started a podcast you like No, just stay in your lane. Just keep bugging Ace team or whatever it is that you do and stay out of the joke at the job business. So

Dan Ilic 22:21
two things happen after this came back they went and they the base pay people sent it to somebody in government and the government to check on it to see if they liked the idea. And it came back and they said we'd want to pitch it to them. Because someone internally at the paid thought spy whale had a bit of a negative connotation. So they changed the name to see us I wail which is a really terrible joke. It doesn't even doesn't even make sense. So they checked to the ICT government. The government said no. And the email got sent around the AFP to let people know and they said oh, we just got the sky well concept approved from our end, but when it rates the government advised us due to rules, regulations and copyright issues, we weren't allowed to do it. sadface I don't know anything about rules and regulations. But I do know something about copyright regulations. The Spy whale is perfect under satire and parody law is something we would do all the time. It's comedians. However, CSI wale is a really shitcan and just wouldn't even pass.

Lewis Hobba 23:24
The one thing I do have sympathy for. And I won't say there's done entities very often about acio. But um, it was just a draft. You know what I mean? Like, this never got to final it's never got to approval. And not all of us if someone started reading our drafts could be like, none of us. None of us have perfect first draft.

Dan Ilic 23:46
But Louis spy was pretty good CSI were was a terrible revision, terrible revision. I mean,

Alice Fraser 23:52
I absolutely have to agree with Louis harbour here. I'm adamantly against the current trend in news to give us pre news, sort of guessing what the news is about to be rather than actually telling us what may or may not be happening in the world. So I feel like this is an example of that of just saying a thing that might have happened but actually didn't happen. And we should all turn out faces from the spy whale and move on to the broad future. For me.

Unknown Speaker 24:19
I have an alert on my phone for any what I like to call blink news. And a ship any form of floating dirigible, I'm all on board.

Lewis Hobba 24:34
You know, Ross, I, I actually, you have left a legacy at Triple J that has caused me some real distress, and it is blimp related. That was it. The Nana? Do you want to explain this was many, many years ago, long before I worked there. Ross did I think he did a summer and I actually remember listening to it.

Unknown Speaker 24:54
The idea was just that I decided that it'd be it'd be a bit of a love to do some radio. So myself rasiak is what we were doing. We did for a couple of years where we deliberately went in over the Christmas holidays when the building was empty. And the bosses are Triple J, basically when you just do what you like. So we took that on board as like, yeah, we, we had this thing we I said that it's impossible to break an egg with your buttocks. And I was just joking. But it turns out, it's impossible to crack an egg with your ass. So we had people ringing in with eggs up there are, we are alive. We have live chickens in the studio. I brought in some some of my pants. And we sent four sets of pants around Australia. So like we said, Come to the studio. So bloke set up the studio. And he said, I'm driving to Sydney. So we set one set of pants that way. And then we'd have meeting points where people were meeting up in town squares to exchange the plans. In two weeks, we got four sets of pants fully around Australia, both directions up north and back onto Tasmania and back. So yeah, it's not it's not commercial radio.

Lewis Hobba 26:09
But I think whoever I are, when I first started there, my boss at the time, who's now no longer the boss, but he I think he was the boss who was there when you were there. And he loved that he loved that idea. So like nothing we could do, would ever make him as happy as that idea. And we would sit down and we would pitch him these ideas that we had great ideas, and he would look at it and be like, Can you make it a bit more like pants around Australia? Like, there's no pants? And this idea?

Unknown Speaker 26:38
I know he is he is the mistake that you made you were pitching ideas. Just think it do it. And are you talking about the nano though we got a flu or nanner interspace or something we Yeah, we had a cardboard cutout of an old lady that somebody's stolen from a mobility shop. And then we divided it up into sections on the website so people could download a full size jigsaw of an old lady printed out, put it together themselves for a graph themselves with the Nana. And then we got the original Nana structure to helium balloons. Let her go in the middle of Melbourne, and then got the listeners to ring in. We had a map and we were spotting out as she flew across. And a lot of people falling off a lot of people because obviously it's not very environmentally friendly. really sure. The plastic Nana into the sky. But yeah, so we had a lot of people very angry because they thought she was going to end up in the mouth of a whale. But

Lewis Hobba 27:43
being humped by an ale

Unknown Speaker 27:46
ended up she landed in New South Wales, we put our address on it and the later we got it back so far.

Dan Ilic 27:55
Hey guys, Mel Lewis, should pitch mode your original ideas. He's gone. Now the legacy of

Unknown Speaker 28:02
that just think of an idea. Let it come out of your head and then act on it before before anyone has a chance to say no. That's the way to live your life. Rational fear this is a rational view. Things have also ended up a little bit dirty

Dan Ilic 28:18
right now we're going to play Hang on a sec, I'll play a clip of video if you want to comment to say Hang on a second, I stopped the tape. This week's Hang on a sec comes from the AC t in New South Wales COVID update press conferences now It all started with john barilaro earlier in the week this week claiming the traces of COVID were found in the miraculous sewage treatment plants. And he blamed those traces on people from Canberra making their way to the south coast. So naturally, the ICT Chief Minister Andrew Barr was asked about asked about it multiple times. And he quite frankly appeared to crack the sheets

Unknown Speaker 28:50
and COVID fragments found in the silvija merimbula. There's some speculation that canberrans are to blame. But can I

Unknown Speaker 28:57
just say that the sign interpreter did the most magnificent signing of poo coming out and being dispersed?

Lewis Hobba 29:06
Yeah. And also the face she did. It was like it was it was gross. She was like, Oh, this is yuck. No, I know where the search fragments have come from it. I mean, there's this

Alice Fraser 29:16
Hang on a sec. I think what we need here is some sort of large surveillance thing that has maybe some sort of oversight over the whole region. Some sort of CSI

Dan Ilic 29:32
skywire with nipples, cameras attached to nipples,

Unknown Speaker 29:36
how much shit is going to be spread all over the area. If you've got a full size wheel.

Alice Fraser 29:44
Full Size wear with a black light just over the Australian Capital Territory.

Unknown Speaker 29:50
Live in New South Wales so it's just as likely to be from New South Wales. I don't think the series detection is quite that sophisticated to be able to tell whether it's a cam there and Or someone says,

Lewis Hobba 30:01
Hey, I think we need we need a sewerage some ellia smiliar i going this this COVID Oh, that's, that's good. That's New South Wales terroir,

Unknown Speaker 30:16
I would recommend to anybody in the AC t now, you know, you get those little flags that you get on fancy cheeses to particularly firms to stick the little thing in there and hope that it lasts all the way down.

Unknown Speaker 30:32
JOHN has directly pointed at the AC t as the cause of that. What is your response?

Unknown Speaker 30:39
JOHN, does john know something about the poo that other people died? I didn't know that from I mean, he's got scientific evidence that can back it up, but it's camera poo. Okay. All right. But I mean, seriously, I just

Alice Fraser 30:54
I love the rage, like the simmering rage that he has to address himself to this question is truly astonishing. I will go as someone who's not particularly enjoying this weird state versus state, tenor that the recent COVID update coverage has has taken, I sort of agree with him, but he's, he's furthering this.

Unknown Speaker 31:15
I love the fact that Daniel Andrews is. I love it. I love the fact that if you look at all of the people who are sponsored, like I'm in the climbing, if you look at all the people who are sponsored by North Face, they've got a very particular look. And yet, he is the most prominent face of North Face. All of these, all of these incredible world class climbers don't even come if you said, you said who's the face of North Face but Andrews in it. These people have claimed since they were tiny, and he's, he's done a lot. He can't even go downstairs. He cannot even go downstairs.

Dan Ilic 31:55
He should get Gladys berejiklian jacket for the about face that we

Lewis Hobba 31:59
did. He climbed a ladder of like, Oh, you know, politics is a ladder. He's climbed something. I don't think North Face are going for metaphors when I was thinking I was gonna metaphorically go into Korea. Korea is just a jacket for you.

Alice Fraser 32:24
It's waterproof. It's fire resistant. It's extremely powerful in an emotional communication.

Dan Ilic 32:30
Joining us now on irrational fears a friend of the show. He's one of Twitter's favourite energy nerds. It's Simon hams accord. Welcome, Simon. Thank you very much. Great to be on again. Now, Simon, you're this week, you've launched quite a compelling idea to imagine Australian politics without the major parties calling the shots. My question is, are you working for Clive Palmer?

Unknown Speaker 32:53
I wonder if I've got the same strategy. Certainly different intentions.

Dan Ilic 32:57
Yeah. Tell us about this big idea that you launched this week.

Unknown Speaker 32:59
So this week, I launched climate 200, which is an organisation that's trying to get us out of the stalemate that we are in Australian politics right now. So we have been stuck as you all would know, without climate policy in Australia, really, for about 20 years. It's been a political football. And it's been arguably, we've gone backwards from where we were in with Kevin oh seven. That was probably the high point of Australian political climate policy. We've seen in the last few years, the the massive opportunity with strong climate independence. So zali steggall, Helen Haynes, before that, Cathy McGowan, Andrew Wilkie. We've seen, we've seen a parliament where strong crossbenchers can make a difference. Now they won't have ultimate impact on politics until they have the balance of power. But as we head into the next election, we have, I think it's a once in a generation opportunity for independents to hold the crossbench. And in that situation, they will negotiate for strong climate policy.

Dan Ilic 34:04
That's a really compelling idea for particularly for people who want to see climate action in Australia. And I think that is a lot of Australians. That's something like 80% of Australians want to see meaningful climate action. But where what is the reality of that, like, how many seats are going to be fragile enough to kind of lend themselves to climate independent and independent, where climate is the centre of their of their of their policy? Yeah, so

Unknown Speaker 34:29
it's crazy close at the moment, you need 76 seats to to have a majority government in Australia, and that's what the coalition has right now. They also have Craig Kelly, and Bob catters vote for Labour to win the next election outright, they would need to win eight seats and even then, well, I don't know how much faith can we have that we will have a strong climate policy when when just last night and this morning if they public that they voted for fossil fuel again and again. So

Dan Ilic 34:59
yeah, a prayer In the beetaloo Basin gas in in Northern Territory, that is insane. It's like labour talk a big game, but they can't they never ever followed up with actual action. Yeah, I

Unknown Speaker 35:08
mean, just this morning there was a bill. There's it's turns out that our export finance organisation in Australia's export finance organisation has been funding fossil fuel projects overseas. Wow, there was a motion put up by an independent advisory Stegall to get to release the information on which which projects were funded and tell us more about that programme. And both labour and the coalition's voted that one down. So we we need as that we had that amazing period back in 2010 to 13, when labour was in minority government with with some strong strong crossbenchers. I don't know if you know, many people will remember Rob Robach shot tiny Windsor, Andrew Wilkie and Adam bandt formed a strong crossbench that Laban worked with, and they develop the carbon price, the Clean Energy Finance Corporation, which is still going great guns arena, which has done so much good work bringing in renewables into Australia. So we've we've seen that the major parties when they're forced to deal with the crossbench. And even at the end of the last parliamentary term, the was the crossbenchers, that brought in the Medi vac that brought so many sick refugees back from medicine a row back to Australia. So we've seen that it works. And we are so close, just three more independent three more zali steggall, Helena and Haines type. And we wake up on election morning after election with a different country.

Alice Fraser 36:30
So I saw a question before which I would like to ask you, which is how do you know which independents are just saying whatever they will say, to get a vote and how can we hold them accountable? Is there any way we can sort of attach a maybe some sort of electrode testicle so that once they're in power, we can we can hold them accountable by pressing some sort of Yeah.

Unknown Speaker 36:52
The thing is, wait, the thing is, we know that the major party candidates or incumbents are not accountable to their community. They first and foremost always go with with the party line. I mean, were they your your Trent Zimmerman, or Josh frydenberg or Dave Sharma, you've got the same voting record as as Craig Kelly, George Christiansen Matt candidate, right? They they all vote the same way. So whereas if you have an independent, they are absolutely accountable to their community, if they don't live up to their community's expectations, they are absolutely out next time and they know it they listen, first and foremost, the community, not to any party whip.

Dan Ilic 37:33
So what is the feeling out there in different electorates that might be open to the idea of an independent? what's the what's the Zeitgeist like? What do you what do you feel like people are

Unknown Speaker 37:45
saying, Yeah, we're really inspired. We were really inspired by so Cathy McGowan, the independent member for in die, who was two terms, three terms, and then and then handed over to Helen Haynes. At the last election, I think the first ever independent independent transition. She She ran a forum at beginning of this year and had people from 78 electorates around Australia turn up to reform our code getting elected. And a lot of those communities have gone on from strength to strength they've formed. You hear all around Australia, there's voices of Mackellar voices of human voice, our voices of Kooyong, often these these voices groups, and they were they are very strong, where they found a good candidate, we will step up and help them they've got to do the hard work, they've got to raise most of the money, but we'll be in there helping them with strategy and helping them with the necessary finances to come up against the incumbents.

Dan Ilic 38:39
There's a lot of these groups out there as you say that there's rarely any independent name attached yet there's really a candidate name attached to it. How soon do you think candidates will start appearing like it has an actual game stop popping up?

Alice Fraser 38:53
takes a while for a Thunderdome to play out?

Unknown Speaker 38:58
Yeah, and that is that is going on there. There are some some communities are doing public forums in here and they've got they've been trying to run a forum COVID kid shutting it down but a forum where we're five candidates will get up in front and the community will pre select them in so open pre selection. Others are talking interviewing but look think of think about wearing the last time there was such a strong local campaign there was voices of wieringa there was a vote Tony out campaign people wearing the T shirts around town there was times up Tony there there were about five or six different groups who all were fixated on the same thing which was replacing Tony Abbott with an independent and once it was that they had a real head of steam. And they had article in the local paper talking about all these things. And Sally Stegall reading the paper one morning saw that and went Hang on. That's me. I could I could do that. And and so it's a bit chicken and egg you're not going to get a mean they're not they're not many solly stickers out there in Australia. There. There there. There are plenty of You know, there there, there are dozens of people like that who have got the whole package, but they're not going to stand up until they know the communities behind them. They've got a funded campaign. And they they're risking a lot to stand up in front of an incumbent

Dan Ilic 40:15
leaving the the candidate candidates are waiting to see momentum first before they jump in, and kind of thread ahead of the ring.

Unknown Speaker 40:21
I think you'll you'll start hearing more of these coming around about the October time frame. Right critics

Dan Ilic 40:27
of the plan would play probably say you're just going to take seats away Utah take votes away from labour and the greens and probably just give the LMP another term could you live with yourself with that ever happened? Simon?

Unknown Speaker 40:38
Look, I we will only run in strategic sets. And strategic sites are ones that are going to tip the balance in favour of climate action and integrity. I can't at the moment imagine that that the greens or or labour would lose too much out of this strategy. Think about Karen Phelps. Actually, Karen Phelps in her bio action sheet, they managed to convince a whole bunch of labour and greens voters to change their vote and put Karen first and it got her in in the by election. We did some analysis recently, that if, if just 1100 labour voters had put Karen in front of the libs, then Karen would have got back in. Right so things can be so finely balanced

Dan Ilic 41:20
1100 that is that's such a such a small number. That's like a Ross noble preview for a comedy festival shot.

Unknown Speaker 41:28
Yeah, no. politics are so finely balanced right now.

Dan Ilic 41:38
Great. Well, Simon, thank you so much for joining us on rational fear. Just quickly, a little bit of interesting climate news that happened today was that a whole bunch of bush bushfire survivors won a huge legal stoush with the New South Wales Government now the New South Wales Government. Now the New South Wales EPA has been ordered by the courts to actually do something about climate change. Is that Yeah, that was that was incorrect. That sounds credible. Shouldn't the EPA already been doing things about

Unknown Speaker 42:02
climate change? Yeah, well, well, it was it was the very first time it's a landmark case work. First time that Australian court has ruled to force a government agency to to take to take action on climate change. They've they found the agency failing to perform its statutory duty to address climate change. And what's what's great is that they compelled the organic they compel the EPA to follow its own legislation. So we don't need any new laws. Please join them. No, this is this is an interpretation. You can start you can start or you rather, you must start tomorrow. So this is this is it.

Alice Fraser 42:39
It's really hard to force specific performance in law. So that's an really landmark case.

Lewis Hobba 42:45
It's incredible. Imagine how long you could do your job before someone was like, I'm gonna get a job to tell you that you should start doing your job like,

Dan Ilic 42:54
this has been sweet. I've been getting paid for 40 years. Is it possible get the same court to get the Minister for emissions reduction to start reducing emissions?

Unknown Speaker 43:03
It wouldn't, wouldn't wouldn't be good. But look, it was only about two months ago that the environment minister was told by a court that she had, she had a duty of care to children, and she's appealing that decision. She She is taking her back to back to the court to say no, I do not have a duty of care to the future generations of Australians

Lewis Hobba 43:21
that Cruella de Vil.

Unknown Speaker 43:24
Yeah. Yeah. Well, so Susan, Susan, Susan w slay Yes. You know, used to be we used to have one escena name and now is has to because the numerology worked out that way, but

Dan Ilic 43:36
very unfortunate initialization. Gosh.

Unknown Speaker 43:42
Yeah. So so they're they're appealing that at the federal level, but hopefully, in New South Wales, I hope that Matt Kane is smart enough to to make it very clear that he's not going to go and ask the EPA to to appeal that decision. Yeah, let's hope New South Wales does the right thing. And it's Yeah, great, great start to finally get the courts to compel our government to do its job.

Dan Ilic 44:08
Yeah. Well, Simon, thank you so much for joining us on irrational fear. And big thank you to all of our guests tonight. I was Fraser Ross noble Louis harbour. Well done that was a great show. Do you guys have anything to plug Alice to unplug anything?

Alice Fraser 44:19
Yes, I have a weekly podcast called the gargle, which is a satirical news show with no politics. I also have a weekly show called tea with elsewhere have difficult conversations with interesting people. And a monthly show called The last post which is a satirical news show set in an alternate dimension all of which can be [e-mail] slash Alice phrase.

Dan Ilic 44:38
Tea with Alice is really great this week with comedian Craig quartermaine. friend of the show, Ross

Unknown Speaker 44:42
if you have anything to plug, I do. Yes, I have these my podcasts called Ross normal podcasts myself and Ed Cavalli, and we were supposed to be talking about, we're supposed to deconstruct music videos. Well, we've done 32 episodes, I think is now we have yet to finish talking about shanaya Twins that don't impress me much.

Dan Ilic 45:07
But we have a lot of Jason and Jason Statham on that podcast.

Unknown Speaker 45:11
There's a lot of stuff and there's a lot of stuff a lot of Nicolas Cage. And we've, we started a new feature by accident or barrel chat, where we talk extensively about barrels. And then I'm gonna be in. I'm in Perth coming up. I can't really see why I'm here. I'm on a bit of a secret on a bit of a secret which I'm working on this thing which I've already talked about. While I'm here

Lewis Hobba 45:38
is it succession

Dan Ilic 45:41
gonna be the independent member for PERS in the next election this

Unknown Speaker 45:46
is gonna be Mrs. Margaret River. Jordan reverses says, you never hear about Yeah, but I'm not but I'm doing a short I'm doing a short the because one of the one of the advantages of the fact that I'm now in Perth working on this secret thing, so I'm putting on an extra show. So the Regal in the next well, what am I recording it? Just Just look at the website. It'll be on there. It's the only it's the only stand up comedy show in Australia in the next six months. Come and see it if

Dan Ilic 46:22
it's your live comedy. Go see Ross noble, I hear his grapes. Simon Journal Club climate 200

Lewis Hobba 46:29
Yeah, we started a fundraiser for climate 200 we've had over 300 people donate so far. That's 100 to many Simon clothes and another

Unknown Speaker 46:37
route where we're gonna have to change the name to climate three, the climate 2000 but please go to climate 200 dot com.au and find out some more about us. And if you can donate That's fantastic. Even you know, $5 shows that people behind the idea. And even if you hop on hop on Twitter and retweet all your friends and nudge all your friends, we're going to make a real difference in the next election.

Dan Ilic 47:00
Louis when it's

Lewis Hobba 47:02
done nothing to me, Dan just I'm just at home alone all the time. So

Unknown Speaker 47:08
you're not gonna plug anything. I forgot something. If it's a nature documentary. It's on YouTube. It's called. It's called the unnatural history show. With Ross noble, all of the animals. All of the creatures in it are fictional. They're all they're all like puppets. And yes,

Lewis Hobba 47:30
that counts as my plug. That's my plug. I'm plugging Ross navels up.

Alice Fraser 47:33
Yeah, I take my plug back. I'll plug that to that sounds great.

Unknown Speaker 47:36
Oh, not to hit you on YouTube. If you like. If you like Labyrinth, you'll probably quite lately. Big

Dan Ilic 47:43
Big thanks to Rudd marks the birth of foundation our Patreon supporters we've got some new Patreon supporters this week. Zaphod john Anglada Stuart E. carb Megan Sheila. Artist mass Dixon has actually doubled her contribution. So thank you, Miss Dixon. Awesome. Remember, if you become one of the first 10 people to subscribe to Patreon this month at $50 a month, you'll get a little dead dedication to our scomo parks that are going out across the state of cook. So please jump on our Patreon for 50 bucks a month until next week, there's always something to be scared of. Good night.

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