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The Battle of Punchbowl — Nat Tran, David Smiedt, Dan Ilic, Lewis Hobba

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On this week's podcast we invade the suburbs of South West Sydney, Dissect Channel Seven's Olympics Coverage, find a missing lotto ticket and interview Alan Jones after he's been kicked out of News Corps Newspapers.

Guest Fearmongers:

Nat Tran
David Smiedt — Chris Obrien Lifehouse
Lewis Hobba
and Dan Ilic

Thanks for listening — if you enjoy the show please chip in to our Patreon so we can afford to get a production assistant this year. We also need a budget to pull some great pranks during the next election, just like our #EngadineMaccas's plaque which got a mention on Pod Save The Word this week. (43:20)

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👕 BUY OUR MERCH HERE

TRANSCRIPT BY DRUNK COMPUTER

Dan Ilic 0:00
Good Day Lewis. How

Lewis Hobba 0:00
are you? Ah, great, Dan. So good. The tanks are on the streets, Daniel.

Dan Ilic 0:08
Yes, we're talking a lot about that a little bit later on. I'm excited. I can't wait. I can't wait for the tanks to roll past my house and bond I though I doubt it. We have a Patreon Louis and I tell you what I want I would love a few more Patreon people to join us because I don't know how you feel about this, Louis. I want to hire an assistant.

Lewis Hobba 0:30
Really? Yeah. I mean, I know I've said this before but have you considered paying me at any point?

Dan Ilic 0:36
No, no, I would never already pay you made as called the ABC I pay you fucking four cents today. So I'd

Lewis Hobba 0:43
like five cents a day.

Dan Ilic 0:46
So please, if you listening to this and you've been a longtime supporter, we absolutely need a few more dollars in our patreon@patreon.com forward slash irrational fear so we can hire an assistant that's going to cost a couple 100 bucks a week so please get us up get it cheap in so we can make this a little bit easier.

Lewis Hobba 1:06
What sort of tasks can I be expected to do

Dan Ilic 1:08
Daniel I've written out a whole list I've got a list of it's from graphic design to publishing to putting the videos on the internet to getting the web getting the website so it there's a whole bunch of things that I need a production assistant for so please patreon.com forward slash irrational.

Lewis Hobba 1:22
I was just thinking of applying just to see if I could kind of make a scratch out of this podcast.

Dan Ilic 1:29
I'm an equal opportunity employer. So I'm happy to happy to get any kind of sex past as my assisted. I'm recording irrational fear on gadigal land in the eora nation sovereignty was never seated we need a treaty. Let's start the show

Unknown Speaker 1:44
of rational fear contains naughty words like bricks. Can bro COMM And section bought you a rational view recommended listening by immature audiences.

Dan Ilic 1:57
Tonight in the band Robert Smith defamation case Ben Robert Smith launches another stunning attack on the character of Ben Robert Smith. And the New South Wales Government is allowing singles in Sydney to nominate a friend to visit their homes in lockdown in what they're calling a singles bubble, which is a much better name than the original Minerva

Voice Over 2:14
do. And anti vaxxers learned the true meaning of protests is the virus you spread along the way. It's the 30th

Dan Ilic 2:21
of July 2021. And I've hope you've applied for your paratype pesos. This is a rational fear, irrational.

Welcome to irrational fear. I'm your host, former mayor of East town Dan Ilic. Let's meet our fear mongers for tonight. She is one of Australia's most loved comedians, who is definitely now a serious actor from the internet and the FX series Mr. inbetween it's Natalie Tran. Hello, what in general is intriguing? What is it like being a serious actor now? It's very serious, and it's very successful. And it's Jay Todd. Yeah, it's difficult.

Lewis Hobba 3:08
I would like you to talk more about the craft if you can also the work, the work and the craft.

Dan Ilic 3:13
That's another podcast list. And next our next be manga has written for Dolly Cleo bride to be Vogue woman's de l girlfriend magazine. They haven't shattered the glass ceiling. No, they've polished the glass floor. It's David Smith. Hey, thank you for having me. Welcome to the sealed section. And our final female UNGA has a moustache of a sex space, but a heart of gold. It's Louis harbour.

Lewis Hobba 3:36
Thank you. The dream, obviously, is to eventually get a moustache of gold. But until I start making some money somehow, I guess I won't be able to afford

Dan Ilic 3:46
shipping to the Patreon forward slash irrational fear. Yet, Louis, as a stretch goal, I think I'm the statue of gold. Coming up, we are going to be interviewing the one and only Alan Jones. Believe it or not, yes, he has been dumped from us court papers. So we'll talk to him. But first here is a message from this week's sponsor.

Voice Over 4:08
irrational fear you're sponsored by the National Vaccine rollout. Already 13% of adults have been vaccinated in just one year. At this rate, we'll be ready to open up to the world just in time for the Brisbane Olympics. The National Vaccine roll gone things come to those who wait or live in another country.

Dan Ilic 4:28
Yes, this week's first fear the army has been called to help New South Wales battle COVID-19 oh my god fear mongers. Isn't this what the Cuban people want to happen?

Natalie Tran 4:43
I think if people are going to protest and act like their freedom has been taken away from them, I want to see their freedom be taken away from them. I want it to be justified. And to be honest with you, I don't know if you guys how you felt but when I see people break I mean, I think I would be full on dictator I'm for it. Go crazy. Do it.

Dan Ilic 5:01
Natalie Tran the people's premier 100%

David Smiedt 5:06
I'd be up for the forecast of the village people to be honest, I want them I want the Navy. I want I want them all. I want them to lock up the bastards and at the end do YMCA and that'll be that'll be a people's movements I can get behind.

Lewis Hobba 5:20
As I say it is strange because suddenly like none of the cases in New South Wales have really been from people on the streets until the protests. So it's not like they're, they're reeling in the tank so that you can stop people from going to a bookshop. It's like, clearly directed at those like few 1000 idiots. It just feels like even though we're all angry at them, it feels like such a fucking overreach as usual. It really does. Four

Dan Ilic 5:45
days ago, Deputy Commissioner Gary warboys said that they're there, there's no chance that the military would be called upon. Now that just proves two things. You can't trust cops. And you can't trust a guy called Gary who spells his name with two hours. Two hours is shifty, Gary. Well,

David Smiedt 6:00
he's also you know, he's coming up against his mortal enemy, Gary Brad boys. So you have to be careful about those guys. You know, they've got a reputation abroad.

Lewis Hobba 6:10
It's like if you live in New South Wales, and you're like, you know, my problem with this. It's not enough of a police state. Like, could we just add one more level of insane, heavy handedness? That'd be a delight. That's certainly what I've been missing since the lockdown.

Natalie Tran 6:26
What just to play devil's advocate, because I am a dictator. I had a I had a look over things. And I saw that the fine was increased, I think from 200 and something up to 500. Is that correct? As part of this whole, like, thing, and I had a look at what other fines were. And I had a look. And you can apparently get fined about $344 for fat arming, which is when you leave your arm hanging out of a car window when you're driving. If you're crawled, yeah, if you're pulled over and you're driving a vehicle, and it's considered that you're not in control, and this can also include wearing thongs when you drive that can be $457. So in the grand scheme of things, I don't think it's that bad. If that makes sense that you could you know, it's not that but I think you have to take things into consideration. You know, you have to put things in context.

Dan Ilic 7:19
Yes, spreading a deadly disease around to the rest of Australia is only worth about driving a car with songs with

David Smiedt 7:29
me, which is a phrase I'll be taking away from this podcast with joy in my heart, Natalie. Yeah.

Natalie Tran 7:34
Well, Marissa is going obviously no one who wants to rat out anyone. But does anyone who knows someone who is pushing the rules to the limit? Or does anyone who knows anyone who is breaking the rules?

Dan Ilic 7:42
Only people I see on Twitter who are who are taking photos and putting it on on Twitter going look at these people at the beach evenly distanced apart. They're terrible.

Natalie Tran 7:51
I'm just curious. I don't know. I'm curious. Obviously, I don't I think it's an overreaction. But I am curious to see what reactions need to happen for people to stop because the numbers are going up. And I think if people really genuinely feel that this lockdown is so terrible. And let's face it in Sydney, we've had a wonderful ride compared to the rest of the world. I'm just curious with it. Yeah, we've had protesters come out as though it's the end of the world. I do want to see what they need to feel scared or to feel like to take this seriously.

Dan Ilic 8:23
Yeah, I totally agree. I think it's so I think, you know, the mixed communications from the government or just had didn't help. I think the failure of the federal government to secure those vaccines and do a proper rollout from 18 months ago, absolutely didn't help. And that is just true. What we're saying now is a true testament to the failure of the federal government to actually delivering something that they should have been on, like, we're talking about a federal government, who when this fucking thing started, developed a board of people with fossil fuel executives on it, and they decided the solution to COVID-19

Voice Over 8:57
was to build a fucking gas pipeline. Sorry, I just want to get that out again. Yeah, I just want to make that clear.

Lewis Hobba 9:04
I do think obviously, I know I've talked about this on a previous irrational fear, but I do think if we are going to use the army, and it is going to the army is going to be a solution to getting rid of you know, this COVID situation. What it needs to be is every able bodied man or woman who can hold a gun 100% like the hunter with German. Just Just AstraZeneca and h1 just walking through that protest. It's like a dumb, don't come down. tranq gun tranq gun, every single one of them. Yeah, that's what I mean. Bring it on, man. Let's see it. I want to see the world go crazy. Yeah,

David Smiedt 9:41
I am looking forward to the army marching into Bondi and trying to tell them apart from the personal trainers who also wear a lot of cameras.

Dan Ilic 9:51
Yeah, I think that's important. I kind of don't mind this idea. Like imagine ANZAC Day in a few years at the parade. In this middle. I've

Voice Over 9:58
gotten the Battle of pan I still get tremendous ADHD every time I drive past a muffin break. I just want to stick up someone's nose. And you know, we say we say every ANZAC Day at the going down of the Sun lest we forget to order enough vaccines Oh, it's all terrible. What a What a horrible

Lewis Hobba 10:20
that's like the end of every segment on this podcast. Oh, it's so terrible.

Natalie Tran 10:24
Well, no, I just realised I just realised this cuts to me sounding like I condone army rollout. No. Yeah, it's just an absolute mess.

Lewis Hobba 10:33
Unfortunately, that's um, you're on the record now.

Dan Ilic 10:37
And can I say net? Welcome to irrational fear.

Unknown Speaker 10:42
The police horse cops are clenched fist to the face of fiery anti mock down protests. There were false charges that have been approved. A horse, which I haven't done a rational fear.

Dan Ilic 10:58
Our second fear for tonight, David Smith, you have a concern that CHANNEL SEVEN is relentlessly mining the Olympic medalists for tragedy.

David Smiedt 11:07
It is annoying, they've gone from fear mongering to tear mongering. So it can be the moment of someone's some young athletes life they've trained for years, or longer. In many cases, they've beaten someone by hundreds of a second. They're standing there with gold radiating from their chests. And the first question is, how do you think your Nana would feel? Remember your Nana, we died from brain cancer? How would she feel about this? Why not? I just have a moment of joy. Why can we just have that moment of joy in the current climate? It's really starting to shoot me.

Lewis Hobba 11:49
I think it's Yeah, it's fair enough. Like I think it's like, if you're a good commentator, I feel like you want to build that narrative. In the lead up, you know, you want to be like, and it's obviously incredible. They train every day. Plus, of course, she lost her Nana last year. It's been a really tough year, of course, with the COVID. And in a lot of different things. And then when they win, just shut the fuck up. It's like at the end of like rocky to when when rocky wins. They didn't go up to rocky or like, your wife nearly left you How did that feel? You know, like, we got that in the later that was the first to film so that at the end, we could just enjoy that he finally won.

David Smiedt 12:22
If you if the writing is strong enough that you say you've created a beautiful narrative within with a with a perfect climax to it. It's just like someone walking out of a movie picking holes in the continuity.

Dan Ilic 12:37
Dave, I think you're absolutely right. And Louis, you are too I think the narrative is very important. And one thing you learn with narrative writing is that you don't want to go to too big too early. And which makes me think what are these commentators going to say when they have to commentate the Paralympics next week? Oh, yeah, absolutely.

David Smiedt 12:56
You know, and the condescension that should be an event in itself. How are you? How are you gonna roll that into that?

Lewis Hobba 13:08
I was watching the the surfing the first. Well, that was pretty much all the surfing in the first few days of the Olympics. And oh, and right, who's the Australian surfer Inc, absolute legend, incredible surfer. And his big story is that he suffered a really bad brain injury when he was surfing in 2015. Never thought he'd surf again had to basically teach himself to walk. And then like a few years later had was winning, like his first competition back in Australia won and it was one of the greatest moments in sporting my sporting life. Why? You? Wow. And obviously, when you like the amount of when I was watching him in his first hate, took him about 20 seconds. And then like, of course, he's recovering from the brain injury in 2015. I'm like, Yeah, all right, got that. But then it was like five times the heat. And then it got to the final and honestly, they didn't even talk about the safety they just like remember that brain injury? It was six years ago like we've been called.

David Smiedt 14:03
Tony give me a little an amuse boosh of tragedy. I'm fine with that. But then just give me seven courses of glory after that. That's what I'm watching for. Natalie, do

Dan Ilic 14:18
you think people do you think the commentators are going too far with mining tragedy? Oh, guys, I haven't watched it. I haven't watched any of the Olympics.

Lewis Hobba 14:28
natalina dictator thinks they haven't gotten fired up. But interesting point.

Natalie Tran 14:31
I didn't believe in flags. No. I watched the opening ceremony. That was about it.

Lewis Hobba 14:39
You thought they weren't marching in time to get it together?

Natalie Tran 14:42
I was like, it's not sad enough. It's not Can I get a goose there? I'm I've watched the highlight. I'm so sorry. I'm just not uh, I got it. Yeah, I should watch it.

Dan Ilic 14:51
I was watching the opening ceremony too. And I I was just wondering, I TGC that all that tap stuff is like we had tap stuff in our opening ceremony. Every show derivative of Sydney two pounds It's

Natalie Tran 15:03
so good. And I really I was watching it and I thought oh is tapped acting a Japanese? Did I not know that it was tied to Japan and then my dad called me the next day and he said, I didn't know tap dancing with Japanese. It's something that they've done like,

Lewis Hobba 15:19
No dad. It was invented in Newcastle with the tap dogs.

Dan Ilic 15:24
That sounds right. Doesn't that sound right? Exactly. I texted one of the tap dogs during the ceremony and I did text him I said this is very derivative.

David Smiedt 15:36
Can I just say though, on this subject of the Olympics that I do want to I think it Kelly McCown deserves to be a national hero.

Dan Ilic 15:45
I've got that I've got the exact same reason for that. Let me let me play the video right here. Here we go. Oh, would you

David Smiedt 15:50
like to say to your mom and your sister for now. She is not on a postage stamp. By the end of this week, I'll be writing a very stern letter.

Dan Ilic 16:04
I think I think when you win a gold medal, fuck air is totally appropriate and she will be broadcasting and

David Smiedt 16:09
now our swimming team has both an F bomb and the CBOE which is pretty, pretty amazing.

Dan Ilic 16:18
Louis, when you did like broadcast or training at Triple J, did you learn about like hard facts and softex? Like,

Lewis Hobba 16:24
you know, well, obviously, then they don't train you at Triple J.

ALAN JONES 16:29
Right? Yeah, they

Lewis Hobba 16:31
just let you go and set the wolves upon you. But you do we do have this thing that well, it's funny because yes, we were told about hard forks and soft forks. But that's in like, it's this ephemeral thing where, particularly with songs, there'll be songs that are like, Fuck you, I fucking hope you die. And that is categorised as a hardback, where if it's like, I fucking love you. It sort of gets considered a soft fuck. A few years into me working there. We had like a training day with someone whose job it is to like, like an editorial policies person or whatever. And we said to them very stern and very like, Well, obviously, there's the hard fork and the soft fork. And they're like, that's all bullshit. That's not real. I don't. Like that's how we've been operating for 40 years now. Like, now that doesn't exist. There's no such thing as a soft fork. I'm like, Oh, well. This guy comes in. This guy comes into the office every day and tells us about like, I brought it home to my relationship.

Dan Ilic 17:34
It's a guy from the swearing lobby party who's been lobbying for hard facts and soft facts and like, Hey, guys, I recommend the swearing freedom lobby. I'm just letting you guys know you can totally say it. It's like, don't worry about it. It's gonna play Kaley one more time. Here's Kaylee one more time. Rational fear. What would you like to say to your mom and your sister for now? a rational fear. This week's third fear a woman unaware she had $39 million lottery ticket in her purse for weeks. Natalie, you found this story? What scares you about this one? A couple

Natalie Tran 18:11
years ago, I read an article about how Australia I think had 12 million unclaimed lottery tickets. And what I don't like about it is there's actually a window that closes so if you have a lottery ticket, and you don't claim it within a certain period of time it closes in the United States. Yeah. So it's different the United States where well, they can't just put it on hold for you then. But in the United States, they'll hold it for a while. But just so you guys know in Victoria, I think it is six months in New South Wales. I think it is. Six years last I read so we're slow on closing more than just but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we're slow on a couple of things. We're behind Victoria. But isn't that interesting? So if you're going to lose a lottery ticket, lose it in New South Wales. More importantly,

Dan Ilic 19:01
if you're going to buy a buy a lottery ticket, buy a lottery ticket in New South Wales.

Natalie Tran 19:06
Well, she was carrying it around with her. I mean, there's, you know, to be said to how people feel about you entering lottery or gambling in the first place, but imagine carrying it around your purse for that long just carrying that much money around your purse.

Lewis Hobba 19:18
I reckon I buy like, maybe like two lotto tickets a year. I reckon. Like just for fun. And, and the fear of losing the ticket is so strong, that I only buy them online now. Because then I know that I'll always have like the email telling me that I've won. I would just like the I just know that I'd be the story of like, and fell away in the wind. Like, no fucking way. I'm not going to be that guy.

David Smiedt 19:46
Yeah, I'd be that I'd be the six year six years. Two days guy. I love that.

Dan Ilic 19:55
Oh, David, congratulations, but bad news. You're 48 hours. But I know a guy in the ministry maybe we can figure something out. But tomorrow night's numbers are gonna be six for you left to ask the TIC Tock guy for the numbers. He turned out What are you right?

Lewis Hobba 20:18
What an incredible and predictable fall from right?

Dan Ilic 20:22
Where we're talking about the tick tock guys a circle committee on Tick Tock who gets to quote unquote guess the numbers of the numbers of the new cases in New South Wales every day for about a few weeks until he was caught out. And then was one of the latest of the protests of the vaccine protest last week. And he got up on stage at the town hall with a megaphone to proclaim himself as the people's premier. And people cheered like he's really really led into this moment.

Lewis Hobba 20:49
You know what actually bummed me out more way more so than Tick Tock guy who, basically I didn't have time to have any feelings for before he was. But was the loss of egg boy. Yes. Sweet Sweet egg boy PETA Lola

Dan Ilic 21:02
on on YouTube just said that he's rational figure discussing boy. Isn't that a sad thing? We lost an Australian this week.

Lewis Hobba 21:09
We lost the hero. We lost like for a boy a man who? Like, well, a man a boy, an egg boy, he's got more eggs. And boy. I mean, what? What an incredible, you know, I have a photo with a boy up on my Instagram. I love that boy.

Dan Ilic 21:27
Yeah, we tried to get him on irrational fears so often back in the day,

Natalie Tran 21:30
I'm just looking at the comments and Tim has written he was doubting the rapid testing. But I also agree with Tim's comment as well that egg boys a kitten is allowed to be dumb.

Dan Ilic 21:39
I think that is absolutely true. That's why I was talking about redemption. You know, he's like, you know, 21 I think there's enough time for a boy to kind of write his wrongs.

Natalie Tran 21:48
Yeah, and actually forgive people, especially during lockdown periods. And especially people who come to fame online. So they spend a lot of time online, that they fall into rabbit holes. I think that's very understandable.

Dan Ilic 21:59
Did you fall in any rabbit holes when you're growing up online, Natalie? Deep, deep in the rabbit hole.

Lewis Hobba 22:06
Okay, the dictator we say before?

Natalie Tran 22:08
It's me, egg boy. Tick Tock guy. We hang out every week. It's great. I'm so proud. I'm so pro army. I'm pro everything. I'm here.

David Smiedt 22:23
I fallen into the rabbit hole. It's a bit mean, but I do love watching people deniers of the science struggling to say epidemiologist then it just brings me such Friday joy. I cannot find a word for the Germans was terrible.

Natalie Tran 22:44
What did he post? Exactly? I know I had a glimpse of his bio that was in a screenshot and it was talking about frequencies that were good for healing.

Lewis Hobba 22:51
He was like chatting to tick tock guy egg boy and tick tock guy. It's definitely Tick Tock guy. We're hanging out at the protest. Like, like Hank, like, Oh, I see. Yeah, no egg boys all in. Oh, he's he's finally cracked. God. I don't love myself for that.

Unknown Speaker 23:11
Rational fear did Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison shit himself. McDonald's. Kudos to the Australian people for keeping this thing alive that Scott Morrison who's kind of a pretty creepy guy. Anyway, in 2019 this one so viral that a street artists put up a commemorative plaque a rational fear.

Lewis Hobba 23:31
Yeah, the next big story, obviously, is that Alan Jones has been kicked off his Daily Telegraph column after a long time still has this guy news show, of course. But we're thrilled that now it's freed up a little bit more time for him to join us on irrational fear once again. Good Alan, welcome to rational fear.

ALAN JONES 23:47
Good morning, everyone. It's good to be with you.

Lewis Hobba 23:49
I was wondering what you say about news court's decision to drop your columns from their papers.

Voice Over 23:54
Can I just say this is disgusting. This is exactly why more people trust those insolent Yahoo's irrational fear than the Daily Telegraph.

Lewis Hobba 24:01
Well, I mean, to be fair, that's been happening for a long time while you were printed by them.

Natalie Tran 24:05
I know. It's disgusting that I'm now on a rational theists podcast and I'm not getting paid. The editor of The Daily Telegraph said that you're no longer resonating with readers. Well, I can

Voice Over 24:15
absolutely confirm that they're no longer publishing my column. But I categorically deny that I wasn't resonating with readers. For starters, The Daily Telegraph was printing in such small text now I can read that properly without a magnifying glass. And we all know that the people who by the Daily Telegraph can't read so calling them readers in the first place is like calling the sceptre Judi reigns who watch the ABC viewers we all know they should be called lard. Hey dribblers if the Daily Telegraph just made the text bigger and more colourful, it would resonate you know like those other stories they have about the 16 months interest free on bedding electrical and furniture from Harvey Norman. Guy Harvey, all like on Sky News precisely. You know, I say something that a child with a journalism degree who couldn't get a job in journalism That summarises it and puts it in big font and underneath my carefully curated pocket square, best dress mat and television. Mr. Jones, how

David Smiedt 25:08
are you coping with the Sydney lockdown on your palatial country estate?

Voice Over 25:12
Well, let me tell you, it's extremely stressful for everyone on the farm. It's been at least a week since Joe Bailey came around and gave me a shave and a massage. And Alberto is always popping his head into the studio.

David Smiedt 25:24
Wait a minute, the opposition leader is going to your studio at your country home.

Voice Over 25:29
It's the nightmare given to one of my guests, Alberto. He's always eating all the other animals food. It's a bit like the Alp.

Natalie Tran 25:36
Very funny, and which proven fact do you disbelieve more COVID-19 or climate change?

Voice Over 25:42
Well, that's a very good question. You know, ever since now, valine has stopped sponsoring my show. It's safe to say I'm warming to global warming.

Lewis Hobba 25:51
Elon Ray Hadley said you're encouraging protests like the ones we saw on Saturday. What's your response to that?

Voice Over 25:56
We'll raise right? These are my people and my people are angry because I told them to be angry. They're also well educated. And if there's going to be a champion of the uneducated, it's me. Ray also said half of what I said is very well researched and a half of it isn't and that's by design. two wrongs don't make a right but if I'm wrong, I'm a big enough man to a minute if accuair and a panel of Supreme Court judges compelled me to have you had your AstraZeneca AZ no thank you it's poison. I however am booked into get my first job as AC. ac as nuclear is releasing a new lockdown playlist on Spotify. I've asked my assistant to record it on cache and I'm gonna sit down with Alberto would listen to it. Both sides I NB have AC agenda. Anthony clear is the best medicine that this country needs right now.

Lewis Hobba 26:42
Ellen, thanks for joining us on irrational fear.

Voice Over 26:44
It's good to be with you.

Natalie Tran 26:45
Oh, sorry, guys. I just noticed I think Dan's been on mute this whole time down. I couldn't hear you asking any questions.

Dan Ilic 26:51
Oh, that's okay. You guys did a really good job. Well, that is it for a rational fee. A big thank you to all of our guests tonight. Natalie Trent David Smith. Lewis. How about you guys who think the plug Natalie, you want to plug anything?

Natalie Tran 27:03
Oh yeah, I've got a podcast called This American Life. It's smaller. But if you guys check it out, I'd really appreciate that. There is

David Smiedt 27:13
not a plug but I would love to give a shout out to the staff at the Chris O'Brien Lifehouse working on the front lines and helping people through cancer at this incredibly tough time. You guys are the true heroes.

Natalie Tran 27:25
Well, Jesus, let me do mine again. Oh, God, like David, you go first. If you're gonna do that, that's just bloody hell.

Dan Ilic 27:36
So David, David, you've you had food you had cancer? How does it feel now?

David Smiedt 27:44
I fully I am fully recovered. And thanks to the people I just mentioned. Sorry, I should have said earlier that you never know when to walk in with the camera. That's the problem. I'm glad you're better. Yeah, I'm 100% Yeah, I didn't know I did a festival show about a go finding chemo. So just so you know, my take it out. Is it online anyway? No, no, it was just a little kind of it was mainly for the people who treated me and then they all started bringing their friends and then I found nurses are the best stand up audiences on the planet because they are the darkest motherfuckers we have a brain.

Dan Ilic 28:22
Lewis you're gonna flag anything?

Lewis Hobba 28:24
No, I'm on a little break from my other work right now. And I literally am doing nothing like Oh, that is

Dan Ilic 28:31
what an absolute delight.

Lewis Hobba 28:33
sure if that's what you want to call it. Let's call it a delay on the losing my mind.

Dan Ilic 28:39
Yes, no, it is. It does suck. It does suck indeed. A big thank you to our Patreon supporters who pledged this month john Hannah said Georgie Cowen someone could I rain? also a big thanks to our friend Tim D'Souza who's been on the podcast before he upped his rate. So thank you so much. It's really great. Please, if you want to support us head to patreon.com forward slash irrational fear so we can hire an assistant. Until next week, there's always something to be scared of. Good night. Oh, and sorry. In case you haven't figured it out, we we had to cancel our Melbourne shows that we're gonna be great.

Lewis Hobba 29:16
I like putting those up on Instagram being like, can't wait to see of Elvis.

Dan Ilic 29:23
I put it up once and then didn't worry about promoting it ever since because I was like, that is no good. I have very low confidence will be allowed out of the state for that.

Lewis Hobba 29:32
I'm actually so bombed. I can't wait to get to comedy Republic. It's such a beautiful place. And I really am excited about doing shows there. So hopefully it happens sometime in the next decade.

Dan Ilic 29:42
Thank you very much comedy Republic for having us. We can't wait to go down there until next week. There's always something to be scared. Have a good night.

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On this week's podcast we invade the suburbs of South West Sydney, Dissect Channel Seven's Olympics Coverage, find a missing lotto ticket and interview Alan Jones after he's been kicked out of News Corps Newspapers.

Guest Fearmongers:

Nat Tran
David Smiedt — Chris Obrien Lifehouse
Lewis Hobba
and Dan Ilic

Thanks for listening — if you enjoy the show please chip in to our Patreon so we can afford to get a production assistant this year. We also need a budget to pull some great pranks during the next election, just like our #EngadineMaccas's plaque which got a mention on Pod Save The Word this week. (43:20)

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TRANSCRIPT BY DRUNK COMPUTER

Dan Ilic 0:00
Good Day Lewis. How

Lewis Hobba 0:00
are you? Ah, great, Dan. So good. The tanks are on the streets, Daniel.

Dan Ilic 0:08
Yes, we're talking a lot about that a little bit later on. I'm excited. I can't wait. I can't wait for the tanks to roll past my house and bond I though I doubt it. We have a Patreon Louis and I tell you what I want I would love a few more Patreon people to join us because I don't know how you feel about this, Louis. I want to hire an assistant.

Lewis Hobba 0:30
Really? Yeah. I mean, I know I've said this before but have you considered paying me at any point?

Dan Ilic 0:36
No, no, I would never already pay you made as called the ABC I pay you fucking four cents today. So I'd

Lewis Hobba 0:43
like five cents a day.

Dan Ilic 0:46
So please, if you listening to this and you've been a longtime supporter, we absolutely need a few more dollars in our patreon@patreon.com forward slash irrational fear so we can hire an assistant that's going to cost a couple 100 bucks a week so please get us up get it cheap in so we can make this a little bit easier.

Lewis Hobba 1:06
What sort of tasks can I be expected to do

Dan Ilic 1:08
Daniel I've written out a whole list I've got a list of it's from graphic design to publishing to putting the videos on the internet to getting the web getting the website so it there's a whole bunch of things that I need a production assistant for so please patreon.com forward slash irrational.

Lewis Hobba 1:22
I was just thinking of applying just to see if I could kind of make a scratch out of this podcast.

Dan Ilic 1:29
I'm an equal opportunity employer. So I'm happy to happy to get any kind of sex past as my assisted. I'm recording irrational fear on gadigal land in the eora nation sovereignty was never seated we need a treaty. Let's start the show

Unknown Speaker 1:44
of rational fear contains naughty words like bricks. Can bro COMM And section bought you a rational view recommended listening by immature audiences.

Dan Ilic 1:57
Tonight in the band Robert Smith defamation case Ben Robert Smith launches another stunning attack on the character of Ben Robert Smith. And the New South Wales Government is allowing singles in Sydney to nominate a friend to visit their homes in lockdown in what they're calling a singles bubble, which is a much better name than the original Minerva

Voice Over 2:14
do. And anti vaxxers learned the true meaning of protests is the virus you spread along the way. It's the 30th

Dan Ilic 2:21
of July 2021. And I've hope you've applied for your paratype pesos. This is a rational fear, irrational.

Welcome to irrational fear. I'm your host, former mayor of East town Dan Ilic. Let's meet our fear mongers for tonight. She is one of Australia's most loved comedians, who is definitely now a serious actor from the internet and the FX series Mr. inbetween it's Natalie Tran. Hello, what in general is intriguing? What is it like being a serious actor now? It's very serious, and it's very successful. And it's Jay Todd. Yeah, it's difficult.

Lewis Hobba 3:08
I would like you to talk more about the craft if you can also the work, the work and the craft.

Dan Ilic 3:13
That's another podcast list. And next our next be manga has written for Dolly Cleo bride to be Vogue woman's de l girlfriend magazine. They haven't shattered the glass ceiling. No, they've polished the glass floor. It's David Smith. Hey, thank you for having me. Welcome to the sealed section. And our final female UNGA has a moustache of a sex space, but a heart of gold. It's Louis harbour.

Lewis Hobba 3:36
Thank you. The dream, obviously, is to eventually get a moustache of gold. But until I start making some money somehow, I guess I won't be able to afford

Dan Ilic 3:46
shipping to the Patreon forward slash irrational fear. Yet, Louis, as a stretch goal, I think I'm the statue of gold. Coming up, we are going to be interviewing the one and only Alan Jones. Believe it or not, yes, he has been dumped from us court papers. So we'll talk to him. But first here is a message from this week's sponsor.

Voice Over 4:08
irrational fear you're sponsored by the National Vaccine rollout. Already 13% of adults have been vaccinated in just one year. At this rate, we'll be ready to open up to the world just in time for the Brisbane Olympics. The National Vaccine roll gone things come to those who wait or live in another country.

Dan Ilic 4:28
Yes, this week's first fear the army has been called to help New South Wales battle COVID-19 oh my god fear mongers. Isn't this what the Cuban people want to happen?

Natalie Tran 4:43
I think if people are going to protest and act like their freedom has been taken away from them, I want to see their freedom be taken away from them. I want it to be justified. And to be honest with you, I don't know if you guys how you felt but when I see people break I mean, I think I would be full on dictator I'm for it. Go crazy. Do it.

Dan Ilic 5:01
Natalie Tran the people's premier 100%

David Smiedt 5:06
I'd be up for the forecast of the village people to be honest, I want them I want the Navy. I want I want them all. I want them to lock up the bastards and at the end do YMCA and that'll be that'll be a people's movements I can get behind.

Lewis Hobba 5:20
As I say it is strange because suddenly like none of the cases in New South Wales have really been from people on the streets until the protests. So it's not like they're, they're reeling in the tank so that you can stop people from going to a bookshop. It's like, clearly directed at those like few 1000 idiots. It just feels like even though we're all angry at them, it feels like such a fucking overreach as usual. It really does. Four

Dan Ilic 5:45
days ago, Deputy Commissioner Gary warboys said that they're there, there's no chance that the military would be called upon. Now that just proves two things. You can't trust cops. And you can't trust a guy called Gary who spells his name with two hours. Two hours is shifty, Gary. Well,

David Smiedt 6:00
he's also you know, he's coming up against his mortal enemy, Gary Brad boys. So you have to be careful about those guys. You know, they've got a reputation abroad.

Lewis Hobba 6:10
It's like if you live in New South Wales, and you're like, you know, my problem with this. It's not enough of a police state. Like, could we just add one more level of insane, heavy handedness? That'd be a delight. That's certainly what I've been missing since the lockdown.

Natalie Tran 6:26
What just to play devil's advocate, because I am a dictator. I had a I had a look over things. And I saw that the fine was increased, I think from 200 and something up to 500. Is that correct? As part of this whole, like, thing, and I had a look at what other fines were. And I had a look. And you can apparently get fined about $344 for fat arming, which is when you leave your arm hanging out of a car window when you're driving. If you're crawled, yeah, if you're pulled over and you're driving a vehicle, and it's considered that you're not in control, and this can also include wearing thongs when you drive that can be $457. So in the grand scheme of things, I don't think it's that bad. If that makes sense that you could you know, it's not that but I think you have to take things into consideration. You know, you have to put things in context.

Dan Ilic 7:19
Yes, spreading a deadly disease around to the rest of Australia is only worth about driving a car with songs with

David Smiedt 7:29
me, which is a phrase I'll be taking away from this podcast with joy in my heart, Natalie. Yeah.

Natalie Tran 7:34
Well, Marissa is going obviously no one who wants to rat out anyone. But does anyone who knows someone who is pushing the rules to the limit? Or does anyone who knows anyone who is breaking the rules?

Dan Ilic 7:42
Only people I see on Twitter who are who are taking photos and putting it on on Twitter going look at these people at the beach evenly distanced apart. They're terrible.

Natalie Tran 7:51
I'm just curious. I don't know. I'm curious. Obviously, I don't I think it's an overreaction. But I am curious to see what reactions need to happen for people to stop because the numbers are going up. And I think if people really genuinely feel that this lockdown is so terrible. And let's face it in Sydney, we've had a wonderful ride compared to the rest of the world. I'm just curious with it. Yeah, we've had protesters come out as though it's the end of the world. I do want to see what they need to feel scared or to feel like to take this seriously.

Dan Ilic 8:23
Yeah, I totally agree. I think it's so I think, you know, the mixed communications from the government or just had didn't help. I think the failure of the federal government to secure those vaccines and do a proper rollout from 18 months ago, absolutely didn't help. And that is just true. What we're saying now is a true testament to the failure of the federal government to actually delivering something that they should have been on, like, we're talking about a federal government, who when this fucking thing started, developed a board of people with fossil fuel executives on it, and they decided the solution to COVID-19

Voice Over 8:57
was to build a fucking gas pipeline. Sorry, I just want to get that out again. Yeah, I just want to make that clear.

Lewis Hobba 9:04
I do think obviously, I know I've talked about this on a previous irrational fear, but I do think if we are going to use the army, and it is going to the army is going to be a solution to getting rid of you know, this COVID situation. What it needs to be is every able bodied man or woman who can hold a gun 100% like the hunter with German. Just Just AstraZeneca and h1 just walking through that protest. It's like a dumb, don't come down. tranq gun tranq gun, every single one of them. Yeah, that's what I mean. Bring it on, man. Let's see it. I want to see the world go crazy. Yeah,

David Smiedt 9:41
I am looking forward to the army marching into Bondi and trying to tell them apart from the personal trainers who also wear a lot of cameras.

Dan Ilic 9:51
Yeah, I think that's important. I kind of don't mind this idea. Like imagine ANZAC Day in a few years at the parade. In this middle. I've

Voice Over 9:58
gotten the Battle of pan I still get tremendous ADHD every time I drive past a muffin break. I just want to stick up someone's nose. And you know, we say we say every ANZAC Day at the going down of the Sun lest we forget to order enough vaccines Oh, it's all terrible. What a What a horrible

Lewis Hobba 10:20
that's like the end of every segment on this podcast. Oh, it's so terrible.

Natalie Tran 10:24
Well, no, I just realised I just realised this cuts to me sounding like I condone army rollout. No. Yeah, it's just an absolute mess.

Lewis Hobba 10:33
Unfortunately, that's um, you're on the record now.

Dan Ilic 10:37
And can I say net? Welcome to irrational fear.

Unknown Speaker 10:42
The police horse cops are clenched fist to the face of fiery anti mock down protests. There were false charges that have been approved. A horse, which I haven't done a rational fear.

Dan Ilic 10:58
Our second fear for tonight, David Smith, you have a concern that CHANNEL SEVEN is relentlessly mining the Olympic medalists for tragedy.

David Smiedt 11:07
It is annoying, they've gone from fear mongering to tear mongering. So it can be the moment of someone's some young athletes life they've trained for years, or longer. In many cases, they've beaten someone by hundreds of a second. They're standing there with gold radiating from their chests. And the first question is, how do you think your Nana would feel? Remember your Nana, we died from brain cancer? How would she feel about this? Why not? I just have a moment of joy. Why can we just have that moment of joy in the current climate? It's really starting to shoot me.

Lewis Hobba 11:49
I think it's Yeah, it's fair enough. Like I think it's like, if you're a good commentator, I feel like you want to build that narrative. In the lead up, you know, you want to be like, and it's obviously incredible. They train every day. Plus, of course, she lost her Nana last year. It's been a really tough year, of course, with the COVID. And in a lot of different things. And then when they win, just shut the fuck up. It's like at the end of like rocky to when when rocky wins. They didn't go up to rocky or like, your wife nearly left you How did that feel? You know, like, we got that in the later that was the first to film so that at the end, we could just enjoy that he finally won.

David Smiedt 12:22
If you if the writing is strong enough that you say you've created a beautiful narrative within with a with a perfect climax to it. It's just like someone walking out of a movie picking holes in the continuity.

Dan Ilic 12:37
Dave, I think you're absolutely right. And Louis, you are too I think the narrative is very important. And one thing you learn with narrative writing is that you don't want to go to too big too early. And which makes me think what are these commentators going to say when they have to commentate the Paralympics next week? Oh, yeah, absolutely.

David Smiedt 12:56
You know, and the condescension that should be an event in itself. How are you? How are you gonna roll that into that?

Lewis Hobba 13:08
I was watching the the surfing the first. Well, that was pretty much all the surfing in the first few days of the Olympics. And oh, and right, who's the Australian surfer Inc, absolute legend, incredible surfer. And his big story is that he suffered a really bad brain injury when he was surfing in 2015. Never thought he'd surf again had to basically teach himself to walk. And then like a few years later had was winning, like his first competition back in Australia won and it was one of the greatest moments in sporting my sporting life. Why? You? Wow. And obviously, when you like the amount of when I was watching him in his first hate, took him about 20 seconds. And then like, of course, he's recovering from the brain injury in 2015. I'm like, Yeah, all right, got that. But then it was like five times the heat. And then it got to the final and honestly, they didn't even talk about the safety they just like remember that brain injury? It was six years ago like we've been called.

David Smiedt 14:03
Tony give me a little an amuse boosh of tragedy. I'm fine with that. But then just give me seven courses of glory after that. That's what I'm watching for. Natalie, do

Dan Ilic 14:18
you think people do you think the commentators are going too far with mining tragedy? Oh, guys, I haven't watched it. I haven't watched any of the Olympics.

Lewis Hobba 14:28
natalina dictator thinks they haven't gotten fired up. But interesting point.

Natalie Tran 14:31
I didn't believe in flags. No. I watched the opening ceremony. That was about it.

Lewis Hobba 14:39
You thought they weren't marching in time to get it together?

Natalie Tran 14:42
I was like, it's not sad enough. It's not Can I get a goose there? I'm I've watched the highlight. I'm so sorry. I'm just not uh, I got it. Yeah, I should watch it.

Dan Ilic 14:51
I was watching the opening ceremony too. And I I was just wondering, I TGC that all that tap stuff is like we had tap stuff in our opening ceremony. Every show derivative of Sydney two pounds It's

Natalie Tran 15:03
so good. And I really I was watching it and I thought oh is tapped acting a Japanese? Did I not know that it was tied to Japan and then my dad called me the next day and he said, I didn't know tap dancing with Japanese. It's something that they've done like,

Lewis Hobba 15:19
No dad. It was invented in Newcastle with the tap dogs.

Dan Ilic 15:24
That sounds right. Doesn't that sound right? Exactly. I texted one of the tap dogs during the ceremony and I did text him I said this is very derivative.

David Smiedt 15:36
Can I just say though, on this subject of the Olympics that I do want to I think it Kelly McCown deserves to be a national hero.

Dan Ilic 15:45
I've got that I've got the exact same reason for that. Let me let me play the video right here. Here we go. Oh, would you

David Smiedt 15:50
like to say to your mom and your sister for now. She is not on a postage stamp. By the end of this week, I'll be writing a very stern letter.

Dan Ilic 16:04
I think I think when you win a gold medal, fuck air is totally appropriate and she will be broadcasting and

David Smiedt 16:09
now our swimming team has both an F bomb and the CBOE which is pretty, pretty amazing.

Dan Ilic 16:18
Louis, when you did like broadcast or training at Triple J, did you learn about like hard facts and softex? Like,

Lewis Hobba 16:24
you know, well, obviously, then they don't train you at Triple J.

ALAN JONES 16:29
Right? Yeah, they

Lewis Hobba 16:31
just let you go and set the wolves upon you. But you do we do have this thing that well, it's funny because yes, we were told about hard forks and soft forks. But that's in like, it's this ephemeral thing where, particularly with songs, there'll be songs that are like, Fuck you, I fucking hope you die. And that is categorised as a hardback, where if it's like, I fucking love you. It sort of gets considered a soft fuck. A few years into me working there. We had like a training day with someone whose job it is to like, like an editorial policies person or whatever. And we said to them very stern and very like, Well, obviously, there's the hard fork and the soft fork. And they're like, that's all bullshit. That's not real. I don't. Like that's how we've been operating for 40 years now. Like, now that doesn't exist. There's no such thing as a soft fork. I'm like, Oh, well. This guy comes in. This guy comes into the office every day and tells us about like, I brought it home to my relationship.

Dan Ilic 17:34
It's a guy from the swearing lobby party who's been lobbying for hard facts and soft facts and like, Hey, guys, I recommend the swearing freedom lobby. I'm just letting you guys know you can totally say it. It's like, don't worry about it. It's gonna play Kaley one more time. Here's Kaylee one more time. Rational fear. What would you like to say to your mom and your sister for now? a rational fear. This week's third fear a woman unaware she had $39 million lottery ticket in her purse for weeks. Natalie, you found this story? What scares you about this one? A couple

Natalie Tran 18:11
years ago, I read an article about how Australia I think had 12 million unclaimed lottery tickets. And what I don't like about it is there's actually a window that closes so if you have a lottery ticket, and you don't claim it within a certain period of time it closes in the United States. Yeah. So it's different the United States where well, they can't just put it on hold for you then. But in the United States, they'll hold it for a while. But just so you guys know in Victoria, I think it is six months in New South Wales. I think it is. Six years last I read so we're slow on closing more than just but yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we're slow on a couple of things. We're behind Victoria. But isn't that interesting? So if you're going to lose a lottery ticket, lose it in New South Wales. More importantly,

Dan Ilic 19:01
if you're going to buy a buy a lottery ticket, buy a lottery ticket in New South Wales.

Natalie Tran 19:06
Well, she was carrying it around with her. I mean, there's, you know, to be said to how people feel about you entering lottery or gambling in the first place, but imagine carrying it around your purse for that long just carrying that much money around your purse.

Lewis Hobba 19:18
I reckon I buy like, maybe like two lotto tickets a year. I reckon. Like just for fun. And, and the fear of losing the ticket is so strong, that I only buy them online now. Because then I know that I'll always have like the email telling me that I've won. I would just like the I just know that I'd be the story of like, and fell away in the wind. Like, no fucking way. I'm not going to be that guy.

David Smiedt 19:46
Yeah, I'd be that I'd be the six year six years. Two days guy. I love that.

Dan Ilic 19:55
Oh, David, congratulations, but bad news. You're 48 hours. But I know a guy in the ministry maybe we can figure something out. But tomorrow night's numbers are gonna be six for you left to ask the TIC Tock guy for the numbers. He turned out What are you right?

Lewis Hobba 20:18
What an incredible and predictable fall from right?

Dan Ilic 20:22
Where we're talking about the tick tock guys a circle committee on Tick Tock who gets to quote unquote guess the numbers of the numbers of the new cases in New South Wales every day for about a few weeks until he was caught out. And then was one of the latest of the protests of the vaccine protest last week. And he got up on stage at the town hall with a megaphone to proclaim himself as the people's premier. And people cheered like he's really really led into this moment.

Lewis Hobba 20:49
You know what actually bummed me out more way more so than Tick Tock guy who, basically I didn't have time to have any feelings for before he was. But was the loss of egg boy. Yes. Sweet Sweet egg boy PETA Lola

Dan Ilic 21:02
on on YouTube just said that he's rational figure discussing boy. Isn't that a sad thing? We lost an Australian this week.

Lewis Hobba 21:09
We lost the hero. We lost like for a boy a man who? Like, well, a man a boy, an egg boy, he's got more eggs. And boy. I mean, what? What an incredible, you know, I have a photo with a boy up on my Instagram. I love that boy.

Dan Ilic 21:27
Yeah, we tried to get him on irrational fears so often back in the day,

Natalie Tran 21:30
I'm just looking at the comments and Tim has written he was doubting the rapid testing. But I also agree with Tim's comment as well that egg boys a kitten is allowed to be dumb.

Dan Ilic 21:39
I think that is absolutely true. That's why I was talking about redemption. You know, he's like, you know, 21 I think there's enough time for a boy to kind of write his wrongs.

Natalie Tran 21:48
Yeah, and actually forgive people, especially during lockdown periods. And especially people who come to fame online. So they spend a lot of time online, that they fall into rabbit holes. I think that's very understandable.

Dan Ilic 21:59
Did you fall in any rabbit holes when you're growing up online, Natalie? Deep, deep in the rabbit hole.

Lewis Hobba 22:06
Okay, the dictator we say before?

Natalie Tran 22:08
It's me, egg boy. Tick Tock guy. We hang out every week. It's great. I'm so proud. I'm so pro army. I'm pro everything. I'm here.

David Smiedt 22:23
I fallen into the rabbit hole. It's a bit mean, but I do love watching people deniers of the science struggling to say epidemiologist then it just brings me such Friday joy. I cannot find a word for the Germans was terrible.

Natalie Tran 22:44
What did he post? Exactly? I know I had a glimpse of his bio that was in a screenshot and it was talking about frequencies that were good for healing.

Lewis Hobba 22:51
He was like chatting to tick tock guy egg boy and tick tock guy. It's definitely Tick Tock guy. We're hanging out at the protest. Like, like Hank, like, Oh, I see. Yeah, no egg boys all in. Oh, he's he's finally cracked. God. I don't love myself for that.

Unknown Speaker 23:11
Rational fear did Australian Prime Minister Scott Morrison shit himself. McDonald's. Kudos to the Australian people for keeping this thing alive that Scott Morrison who's kind of a pretty creepy guy. Anyway, in 2019 this one so viral that a street artists put up a commemorative plaque a rational fear.

Lewis Hobba 23:31
Yeah, the next big story, obviously, is that Alan Jones has been kicked off his Daily Telegraph column after a long time still has this guy news show, of course. But we're thrilled that now it's freed up a little bit more time for him to join us on irrational fear once again. Good Alan, welcome to rational fear.

ALAN JONES 23:47
Good morning, everyone. It's good to be with you.

Lewis Hobba 23:49
I was wondering what you say about news court's decision to drop your columns from their papers.

Voice Over 23:54
Can I just say this is disgusting. This is exactly why more people trust those insolent Yahoo's irrational fear than the Daily Telegraph.

Lewis Hobba 24:01
Well, I mean, to be fair, that's been happening for a long time while you were printed by them.

Natalie Tran 24:05
I know. It's disgusting that I'm now on a rational theists podcast and I'm not getting paid. The editor of The Daily Telegraph said that you're no longer resonating with readers. Well, I can

Voice Over 24:15
absolutely confirm that they're no longer publishing my column. But I categorically deny that I wasn't resonating with readers. For starters, The Daily Telegraph was printing in such small text now I can read that properly without a magnifying glass. And we all know that the people who by the Daily Telegraph can't read so calling them readers in the first place is like calling the sceptre Judi reigns who watch the ABC viewers we all know they should be called lard. Hey dribblers if the Daily Telegraph just made the text bigger and more colourful, it would resonate you know like those other stories they have about the 16 months interest free on bedding electrical and furniture from Harvey Norman. Guy Harvey, all like on Sky News precisely. You know, I say something that a child with a journalism degree who couldn't get a job in journalism That summarises it and puts it in big font and underneath my carefully curated pocket square, best dress mat and television. Mr. Jones, how

David Smiedt 25:08
are you coping with the Sydney lockdown on your palatial country estate?

Voice Over 25:12
Well, let me tell you, it's extremely stressful for everyone on the farm. It's been at least a week since Joe Bailey came around and gave me a shave and a massage. And Alberto is always popping his head into the studio.

David Smiedt 25:24
Wait a minute, the opposition leader is going to your studio at your country home.

Voice Over 25:29
It's the nightmare given to one of my guests, Alberto. He's always eating all the other animals food. It's a bit like the Alp.

Natalie Tran 25:36
Very funny, and which proven fact do you disbelieve more COVID-19 or climate change?

Voice Over 25:42
Well, that's a very good question. You know, ever since now, valine has stopped sponsoring my show. It's safe to say I'm warming to global warming.

Lewis Hobba 25:51
Elon Ray Hadley said you're encouraging protests like the ones we saw on Saturday. What's your response to that?

Voice Over 25:56
We'll raise right? These are my people and my people are angry because I told them to be angry. They're also well educated. And if there's going to be a champion of the uneducated, it's me. Ray also said half of what I said is very well researched and a half of it isn't and that's by design. two wrongs don't make a right but if I'm wrong, I'm a big enough man to a minute if accuair and a panel of Supreme Court judges compelled me to have you had your AstraZeneca AZ no thank you it's poison. I however am booked into get my first job as AC. ac as nuclear is releasing a new lockdown playlist on Spotify. I've asked my assistant to record it on cache and I'm gonna sit down with Alberto would listen to it. Both sides I NB have AC agenda. Anthony clear is the best medicine that this country needs right now.

Lewis Hobba 26:42
Ellen, thanks for joining us on irrational fear.

Voice Over 26:44
It's good to be with you.

Natalie Tran 26:45
Oh, sorry, guys. I just noticed I think Dan's been on mute this whole time down. I couldn't hear you asking any questions.

Dan Ilic 26:51
Oh, that's okay. You guys did a really good job. Well, that is it for a rational fee. A big thank you to all of our guests tonight. Natalie Trent David Smith. Lewis. How about you guys who think the plug Natalie, you want to plug anything?

Natalie Tran 27:03
Oh yeah, I've got a podcast called This American Life. It's smaller. But if you guys check it out, I'd really appreciate that. There is

David Smiedt 27:13
not a plug but I would love to give a shout out to the staff at the Chris O'Brien Lifehouse working on the front lines and helping people through cancer at this incredibly tough time. You guys are the true heroes.

Natalie Tran 27:25
Well, Jesus, let me do mine again. Oh, God, like David, you go first. If you're gonna do that, that's just bloody hell.

Dan Ilic 27:36
So David, David, you've you had food you had cancer? How does it feel now?

David Smiedt 27:44
I fully I am fully recovered. And thanks to the people I just mentioned. Sorry, I should have said earlier that you never know when to walk in with the camera. That's the problem. I'm glad you're better. Yeah, I'm 100% Yeah, I didn't know I did a festival show about a go finding chemo. So just so you know, my take it out. Is it online anyway? No, no, it was just a little kind of it was mainly for the people who treated me and then they all started bringing their friends and then I found nurses are the best stand up audiences on the planet because they are the darkest motherfuckers we have a brain.

Dan Ilic 28:22
Lewis you're gonna flag anything?

Lewis Hobba 28:24
No, I'm on a little break from my other work right now. And I literally am doing nothing like Oh, that is

Dan Ilic 28:31
what an absolute delight.

Lewis Hobba 28:33
sure if that's what you want to call it. Let's call it a delay on the losing my mind.

Dan Ilic 28:39
Yes, no, it is. It does suck. It does suck indeed. A big thank you to our Patreon supporters who pledged this month john Hannah said Georgie Cowen someone could I rain? also a big thanks to our friend Tim D'Souza who's been on the podcast before he upped his rate. So thank you so much. It's really great. Please, if you want to support us head to patreon.com forward slash irrational fear so we can hire an assistant. Until next week, there's always something to be scared of. Good night. Oh, and sorry. In case you haven't figured it out, we we had to cancel our Melbourne shows that we're gonna be great.

Lewis Hobba 29:16
I like putting those up on Instagram being like, can't wait to see of Elvis.

Dan Ilic 29:23
I put it up once and then didn't worry about promoting it ever since because I was like, that is no good. I have very low confidence will be allowed out of the state for that.

Lewis Hobba 29:32
I'm actually so bombed. I can't wait to get to comedy Republic. It's such a beautiful place. And I really am excited about doing shows there. So hopefully it happens sometime in the next decade.

Dan Ilic 29:42
Thank you very much comedy Republic for having us. We can't wait to go down there until next week. There's always something to be scared. Have a good night.

A Rational Fear on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ARationalFear

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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