The Paris Apartment

I Don't Even Own a Television

No, it's not a new made-up term for a sexual position—as far as we know!—it's the new Lucy Foley joint, The Paris Apartment! It's darker than a wine cellar, twistier than an alley in your favorite arrondissement, but, unfortunately, about as eventful as an afternoon sighing with ennui over a couple of Gauloises and a well-nursed café au lait in a Left Bank café.

Pat your new Karen O. fringe into an appealing dishevelment, make your best face to express that you have the darkest of dark secrets and make sure you've got a skeleton key for all your neighbors' places, because it's time to take a trip into what some people are calling ... la'part-a-ment Parisienne, but what we know to call The Paris Apartment.

Recommendations:

• Paul Tremblay, The Pallbearer's Club
• Jane Peck, The Verifiers
• Diane Duane, The Door into Fire plus The Worst Bestsellers Ep on it!

Mood Music:

• "Heads Will Roll" by Yeah Yeah Yeahs
• "Bastille Day" by Rush