Manage episode 268648320 series 1254222
Have you ever received relationship advice that is so simple and easy to implement that it seems too good to be true? Energy + Value + Currency = Happiness! In this episode, David T. S. Wood and his guest, relationship guru Beth Hanishewski, discuss this proven formula that can help you find happiness and hope in your relationships. If you want to learn more about this formula, this episode is a must-hear!
You will want to hear this episode if you are interested in...
- A relationship formula that works
- Identifying your partner's energy
- Figuring out what they value most
- What your partner's love "currency" is
- Beneficial questions to ask your partner
- Relationship advice and homework to help you get started
Think of energy in 4 quadrants: feminine light, feminine dark, masculine light, and masculine dark. These names aren't speaking to gender classifications but rather the characteristics that accompany different types of energy.
- Feminine light: emotional, spontaneous, inspired, collaborative, and nurturing
- Feminine dark: spiteful, whiny, manipulative, hysterical, and submissive
- Masculine light: logical, competitive, focused, loyal, and present
- Masculine dark: closed, grumpy, controlling, and violent
Now, think about how your energy changes when you're around this person. When you think about that person, do you feel yourself anticipating their energetic effects on you? What energy makes you feel your best? Try to pinpoint that feeling to focus on when you're around that person. When you change your energy, you may see a shift in theirs as well!The secret to nurturing their values
Have you taken the time to consider what your person values most in life? Their values are the unconscious, intangible things they hold highest in their life. If you aren't aware of their values, you could be unintentionally robbing them of the most crucial elements in their life.
The feminine tends to value safety the most, which includes physical, emotional, intellectual, spiritual, sexual, and even financial matters. When you do or say something that makes them feel unsafe, you will be able to see their energy change. If you're not sure if you're affecting them, ask! Once you know, talk with them to see what you can do to help them feel safer.
The masculine values freedom, including their time and energy. Do you ever tell your partner to do something with the expectation they do it right away? Consider giving them the time to decide when and how they'll do it instead.
Identifying their "currency"
In the relationship formula, currency is how you show your person you care. Some examples of the different types of currency are:
- Feminine: safety, connection, and protection
- Masculine: freedom, appreciation, and trust
When both sides of the relationship are paying out the right type of currency, you will achieve that perfect connection. You can then work towards creating synergy to see who they truly are, instead of criticizing them for their flaws. Be sincere in how you work towards your happiness, and the results will speak for themselves!
Relationship advice to help you move forward
When used correctly, the relationship formula results in happiness and hope for yourself and your relationship. But, if you take away any of the pieces, you could see the energy shift back into the dark/negative zone.
If you aren't sure where to start, ask your partner these simple, but effective questions:
- "How can I love you better?"
- "What do I do that pushes you away?"
- "What do I do that pulls you closer?"
Take responsibility for your actions and forgive yourself and your person for not knowing better. When you're in your light, everything around you is affected. But, when you move into the dark, everything around you becomes INFECTED.
HOMEWORK: Apply the formula to your relationship, note what happens, and see how it changes things for you. Focus on keeping your energy positive, shower your partner with the currency that means the most to them, focus on the values they crave, and don't set any expectations. Expectations are the thief of joy.
Going first isn't easy, but the most important influence in a relationship is YOU!Connect with Beth Hanishewski
- Beth Hanishewski's Website: http://www.mindsetcoaching.com/
- Beth on Instagram: @mindsetcoaching
- Follow Beth on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindsetcoaching
- Follow Beth on Twitter: @BethHanishewski