#008: Are you a Priority or just an Option in their eyes?

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Are you making him a priority whilst he only sees you as an option?

Do you find yourself in any of these scenarios?

• Do you put his needs before your own?
• Do you find yourself doing all the work, trying to fix everything?
• Are you still waiting for him, even though he has made it clear he is not looking for a relationship?
• Does he only come around when he wants something from you?
• Is he always too busy to be with you or take you out?

1. Put Your Self-Care Needs First

'When you change the way you look at things the things you look at change'

Stop focusing on trying to change him.

Actions speak louder than words. Does his words match his actions? Don't just listen to his words, his words need to be backed up by actions.

Decide that you no longer accept poor treatment and that you deserve to be treated like the high-value woman you are. When you fall in love with yourself first, you will no longer settle for crumbs from a man. Check-in with how you feel and your relationship goals - is this matching how you would like to be treated in a relationship?

Stand in your truth of what you want your relationship to be like and how you want to be treated, don't fall into his trance and settle for less than you deserve. Remember you are the modern-day Empress who values her happiness!

2. Stop doing all the work

Stop initiating phone calls, dates and trying to fix things. It is not your job to initiate things in your relationship - this is masculine behaviour that will push him away. You want to find out whether his behaviour matches your relationship blueprint. You won't know that if you are meddling and doing all the work. Lean back and let him come towards you, if he does not come towards you then you have your answer he is not the one or he is not ready. It is up to you to decide what you will do with that information. Don't try to change him, accept that this is how he is and make the decision that aligns with what will make you happy. (Remember 'a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still'). When you choose to do what makes you happy, he may choose to change or you will lose interest in him.

3. Don't wait around for him if he is not ready to commit

Is it working for him, but not for you? Don't wait around your time is precious. He may be happy with the situationship as it is, he is not ready to commit but still enjoys all the benefits. Waiting around and meeting his needs won't change him. You are responsible for your happiness. You have to decide to take action to do what makes you happy. He may not be a bad person, he is just being himself. When you choose your own happiness first, you will no longer be an option. You are living your best life with or without him. When you choose to be happy then he will make you his priority, but if you choose to make him happy at the expense of your own happiness then he will keep you as an option.

4. Don't be a doormat

If you feel like you're being used and he only shows up when he needs something then you are an option and not his priority. You have to stop being at his beck and call and learn to say 'no.' You may feel that being there for him will make him want to commit to you someday, but this is unlikely to happen. When you allow yourself to be used and get taken for granted, you are teaching him that you are not valuable. Men take care of what they value. You need to show him that you are a high-value woman that he can't afford to lose, not just a doormat that is always there for him to use.

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