What have you tried so far to quit porn? Accountability buddies, talk therapy, internet filters, church or religious programs, or mindfulness techniques to 'get rid of cravings'… Many of these have merit, but they're often missing key elements for long-lasting sobriety. It isn’t enough to just “stop watching porn”. Porn addiction is a symptom of deeper, underlying challenges that I address using evidence-based psychological and behavioral practices. My mission isn't just to help people overc ...
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RecoverU | Betrayal Trauma, Sex Addiction Support, Betrayal Recovery, Reconciliation, Porn Addiction Recovery
NLP master life coach, Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coach, FDN-P
RecoverU is a podcast where we talk about sex addiction, betrayal trauma, mental, emotional and physical health, faith, and anything and everything needed to RecoverU to your most authentic self that God created you to be.
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For those who are looking to gain traction and momentum as they move away from the destructive effects of porn and porn behaviors and pursue the life and relationships they dream of.
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My name is Bulumko Papu (you can call me Bullz). This is a podcast about porn addiction recovery. Here I talk about tips and tricks that can help you on your recovery journey. Ill be sharing my story and the things I've learnt in my own journey as well.
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79: Emotional Drivers of Porn Addiction, Bad Advice that Makes Porn Addiction Worse, How to Heal Past Trauma, Save Your Marriage & Improve Your Sex Life | Dean & HollyKem Sunseri
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Every man or woman who struggles with porn addiction carries trauma and emotional struggles. In my own personal porn addiction recovery journey, I’ve come to understand many things about the emotional pain that I carry. And by understanding it, I’ve been able to release much of it, and I continue to after a decade of sobriety from porn. In my profe…
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94 - Reflection & Projection - A personal exercise for continued growth at the end of the year
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 150 - Faulty Approaches Redux (with Matt Dobscheutz)
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Last weeks' episode felt unfinished to me. I thought it would be great to have to have my fellow coach Matt Dobscheutz come on and add his thoughts to the topic of why some guys fail to achieve the recovery success they say they desire. We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction co…
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78: Stop Porn Addiction in 3 Easy Steps with ‘The Frontline Framework’ | Dan Johnson with New Paths
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In the episode, Dan Johnson gives you 3 easy steps to stop porn addiction. This process is called The Frontline Framework. Dan Johnson with New Paths is another man just like myself helping men overcome porn addiction. Dan and I not only discuss this framework but also dive into multiple psychological and lifestyle strategies you can begin using ri…
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93 - Feeling Disconnected? A Quick Conversation Starter for Couples During the Holidays
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 149 - 6 Recovery Approaches Bound to Fail
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I have coached guys in porn recovery groups for many years. Over the years I have seen various guys try various things that have proven to be unhelpful in overcoming porn. In today's episode I explore 6 ways that I think that guys (even guys in groups) set themselves up to be unsuccessful in recovery. We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7…
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77: One Year of Porn Addiction Withdrawals | What to Expect During Your First Year After Quitting & How to Stay Sober
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I recently had someone reach out to me directly to ask about porn addiction withdrawal—what it really feels like, what challenges come up, and how to get through it. Their question instantly took me back to the beginning of my own porn addiction recovery journey. When I was six months sober, it was one of the most beautiful yet difficult times of m…
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92 - Having Trouble Declining Invitations? 3 Polite Ways to Say No This Holiday Season
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 148 - How Did I Get Here?
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When I meet new guys I like to ask them this question "How did porn get embedded in your life?" Over and over again I hear some version of the same story. Today I want to talk about the process about how porn became a problem for you because it provides clues for how we can begin to journey out of it. We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7…
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76: Anger, Porn Addiction & One Simple Mental Technique to Overcome Both
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Anger and porn addiction—what do they have in common? At first, it might seem like the answer is nothing. But think about it: how many times have you been angry, and shortly afterward found yourself relapsing on porn? Or maybe you felt stressed or frustrated after a hard day at work, only to come home and slip up. Doesn’t the shame you feel after w…
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91 - Feeling Stressed? Three Ways to Support Your Mind & Body Through Betrayal
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 147 - Direct from Brazil
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Vern has been down in Brazil working with couples around marriage and men in the area of recovery. Take a listen to some of his thoughts and screwups direct from the land down under (the other land down under) We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a …
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90 - How can my husband love me, and be a sex/porn addict?
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. SAST test: https://psychology-tools.com/test/sast If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page …
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75: Quit Porn Using IFS | A Powerful New Approach to Psychology & Addiction Recovery
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What if your brain pushes you towards porn addiction because it’s trying to help you, not hurt you? What if you could quit porn using IFS, an approach that helps you effectively understand and speak with the part of your brain pushing you towards porn, and you could redirect it? What if you could work alongside that part to overcome porn addiction,…
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89 - I have so much Anxiety - What do I do?
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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74: Being Self-Critical Fuels Porn Addiction | How to Stop Perfectionism So You Can Stop Watching Porn
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Porn addiction and perfectionism go hand-in-hand. If you want to stop watching porn, you need to understand the underlying relationship between porn addiction and these self-critical tendencies. One of the great misconceptions out in the world is that porn addicts are selfish, lazy, or simply don’t try hard enough. But in working with these men one…
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88 - I'm so MAD! When anger is healthy, when it's not, and how to process it!
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 146 - Before the Day After
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November 5th is a big day - its Guy Fawkes Day, Vern's Birthday and yes - the American election. How deal with the big feelings that will follow the election can make us truly vulnerable to relapse. Vern walks through how we navigate these strong emotions. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect arou…
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73: Porn Addiction Positive Affirmations that Are Psychologically Effective | Recovery Mindset Statements to Quit Porn
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Do you wish you had a list of recovery mindset statements that could train your brain out of porn addiction? Do you wish you had porn addiction positive affirmations that could convince you to quit porn? Today I am not going to give you that list…because that list does not exist. Don’t believe the hype out there… But what I am going to give you is:…
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87 - 3 Lies That Can Keep Us Stuck
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 145 - Welcome to Plan B
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There are two types of pathways we can walk in recovery - Plan A is the one we prefer and we have all tried it - unsuccessfully. This episode is about Plan B - and why we end up having to follow this route. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a bet…
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72: Break Barriers to Quit Porn | 4 Psychological Blocks that Prevent Porn Recovery and How to Bust Through Them
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You cannot quit porn simply by overcoming sexual cravings and urges. Porn addiction doesn’t ultimately stem from these urges (as surprising as that is). In reality, porn cravings are a symptom of underlying psychological barriers you're experiencing that are preventing porn addiction recovery. Instead of facing or fighting porn cravings, you need t…
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86 - When Will My Spouse Get Over My Betrayal? Living Amends
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 144 - Porn Free Millennial
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A big step of recovery is when you turn around and help guys who are not as far along the journey as you are. Mac is one of the guys I coach and he has created a great podcast that he shares with younger guys - it's called porn free millenial and you can access it here. https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/porn-free-millennial-podcast/id1688517945…
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71: Relapse-Free Business Trips & Vacations | How to Build a Safety Plan to Stop Watching Porn While Traveling
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Have you ever had a streak of sobriety, only to go on a vacation or business trip and relapse on porn? In order to stop watching porn on business trips and vacations, you need to take a proactive approach. One of the most counterintuitive things about vacation is that it can be one of the greatest triggers for relapse. Vacation takes us out of our …
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85 - 4 Questions to Deepen Intimacy during Recovery
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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84 - Difficulties and Benefits of True Intimacy after Betrayal
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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70: What to Do When Your Wife is Triggered | How to Hold Boundaries and Use the Language of Safety in Your Marriage When You Have a Porn Addiction
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If you’re married and you struggle with a porn addiction, we’re going to talk about what to do when your wife is triggered. I have seen a recurring trend with my clients who struggle with pornography addiction. Many have no boundaries with their partners. They face some very serious struggles and confusion in their marriage, trying to figure out ho…
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Ep. 143 - What is Your Primal Question?
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What is the Primal Need which drives your behaviors, informs your fears and causes you to reach for your medicine jar? (porn) In this episode Vern asks the question "If porn is our favorite solution, then what is the primal question we are seeking to answer or problem we are seeking to solve? If you are interested in reading the book, 7 Primal Ques…
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83 - Empathy From and FOR the Betrayed and Addicted
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69: Journey Out of Darkness | A Porn Addiction Story of Healing Through Empathy & Compassion
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In today’s article, I’m going to share a story with you. One that I believe every porn addict can relate to. This story is going to teach you how to heal porn addiction using loving and compassionate methods that, in my opinion, people don’t talk about enough. It’s also going to teach you the truth about the underlying psychology and root causes of…
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82 - What Now? - FAQs for the Betrayed Partner
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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68: From Porn to Peace | Recovery Mindset Practices to Stop Watching Porn
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What if you had mental tools you could use in an instant to remove your desire for porn? What if you could stop watching porn because you had a recovery mindset that replaced your need for it? What I often hear from my clients when they begin my intensive porn addiction recovery program is that cravings for porn and sex feel instant and automatic. …
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Ep. 142 - The C's of Recovery
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We all know the things that we want to leave behind - do we have a clear sense of what we want to see grow in our life? In this episode Vern shares the result of a brainstorming session he did with a group of guys around the things they wanted to move toward. Funny thing - they all start with "C". We are starting new finding traction groups this fa…
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81 - 4 Challenges to Forgiving After Betrayal - Understanding the Hurdles
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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67: My Wife Won't Have Sex With Me - What Do I Do? | Side Effects of Porn Addiction in Marriage and Finding Sexual Healing
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“My wife won’t have sex with me”, “Porn addiction has ruined our marriage and our sex life”, “My wife has gained 80 lbs since we got married, and I’m no longer sexually attracted to her”, “My wife dresses like a nun and wants nothing to do with sex”... If any of these sound like you, and you’re in a marriage where sex is as frequent as a solar ecli…
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80 - Renewed by Grace: A Journey of Healing and Leadership with Nick and Michelle Stumbo
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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When it comes to living in sustained recovery two of the most problematic words we can utter are the words "What If". Today I unpackage why those two words get us in trouble more often than we realize. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better l…
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66: When Wives Become Sex Objects | Porn Addiction in Marriage, and How a Man Overcomes Sexual Obsession
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Today, I address common questions many men I’ve worked with have had about porn addiction in marriage. We’ll talk about how wives can unfortunately become sex objects in today's cultural climate (and how to put a stop to it), and how a husband can: Overcome sexual obsession so he can lead a happier, more fulfilling life. Feel truly sexually satisfi…
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Ep. 140 - 6 Dumbest Things I've Heard
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I've heard a number of pretty dumb things in coaching guys. I've even thought and said a few of them myself - the following are six of the dumbest things that I have come across. We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. If you want more i…
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79 - How to Talk to Your Kids About Sex with Rodney and Traci Wright
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65: Beat Porn Triggers Using this 5-Step System to Overcome Porn Addiction
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Many of my clients have the same question when they start my porn addiction recovery program: “When triggers for porn come up, I just don’t know how to handle them. Are there any simple practices I can use to overcome porn triggers?” In today’s episode, I am going to show you how to beat porn triggers and overcome porn addiction using a 5-step syst…
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78 - Shattered Trust, the Emotional Landscape of Betrayal
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 139 - Signs of a BaaaaD Recovery Group
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frEver been in a bad recovery group? Ever felt nervous about joining a group because of the many ways it could go wrong? In this episode Vern explores how to tell when a group is toxic and when it is healthy. We are starting up new Finding Traction groups in September 2024. Normally groups are $149/month but if you sign up by August 31 - Vern is of…
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64: The 17 Porn Addiction Symptoms that Porn Addicts and Spouses Should Know
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Do you or your spouse struggle with a porn addiction? Or do you suspect that you or your spouse may be struggling with one? Today, I’m going to share 17 porn addiction symptoms that porn addicts and spouses should know. I’ve been working in the addiction community for years, and I have seen recurring patterns and themes among clients and friends wh…
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77 - Love After Healing: A Redemption Story
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 138 - Eat Your Frogs
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Have you ever heard of the saying "Eat Your Frogs" I hadn't! But today we talk about an issue that many porn strugglers have embedded in their lives - their propensity to procastinate! Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to this platform join u…
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63: Relapse: How to Tell Your Wife About Your Porn Relapse (Without a Fight) Using The 4-Pronged Ownership Approach
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You just watched porn. You’ve been working hard to stay sober and stop watching porn, but despite your best efforts, you slipped up and now you’re in a dilemma… How to tell your wife about your porn relapse? Relapses are a common part of porn addiction recovery. I would love it if they weren’t, but they are! It’s just the reality. During the years …
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76 - I Feel Stuck - How Can I Make a Decision About Our Relationship?
45:35
45:35
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Thank you for listening to this episode! We hope it was helpful and encouraging. If you are a betrayed partner and would like to connect with Kylene for 1:1 coaching support, please click this link and book a free connection call: https://linktr.ee/KyleneTerhune Join the free RecoverU Facebook page for betrayed partners: www.facebook.com/groups/rec…
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Ep. 137 - Relapse After a Long Sobriety
19:08
19:08
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What if we have a relapse after a long period of sobriety? In this episode Vern shares from his life about how demoralizing this can be but also how to get back up on our feet with the proper perspective. Vern has a brand new circle learning platform for people looking for connection and free resources in their recovery from porn. To get access to …
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