It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People podcast

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HR is no longer just about managing people—it’s about shaping the future of work. Jens Baier, BCG’s HR transformation expert, discusses how AI and shifting employee expectations are forcing companies to rethink talent strategies. From re-recruiting to upskilling employees, HR must adapt to a rapidly changing landscape. Learn More: Jens Baier: https://on.bcg.com/41ca7Gv BCG on People Strategy: https://on.bcg.com/3QtAjro Decoding Global Talent: https://on.bcg.com/4gUC4IT…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Hosted by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq. and Megan Hunter, MBA, It’s All Your Fault! High Conflict People explores the five types of people who can ruin your life—people with high conflict personalities and how they weave themselves into our lives in romance, at work, next door, at school, places of worship, and just about everywhere, causing chaos, exhaustion, and dread for everyone else. They are the most difficult of difficult people — some would say they’re toxic. Without them, tv shows, movies, and the news would be boring, but who wants to live that way in your own life! Have you ever wanted to know what drives them to act this way? In the It’s All Your Fault podcast, we’ll take you behind the scenes to understand what’s happening in the brain and illuminates why we pick HCPs as life partners, why we hire them, and how we can handle interactions and relationships with them. We break down everything you ever wanted to know about people with the 5 high conflict personality types: narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, antisocial/sociopath, and paranoid. And we’ll give you tips on how to spot them and how to deal with them.

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It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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#MBA #Society #Business #TruStory FM #Conflict #Negotiation #Mediation

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It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

1
Calm Before Think: Mastering Emotional Management in Professional Settings 31:59

6 дней назад31:59

31:59

Managing Workplace Emotions: From Reactivity to Resilience In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Megan Hunter is joined by Cherolyn Knapp, a workplace conflict expert from the High Conflict Institute. Together, they explore the crucial topic of emotional management in professional settings, offering practical strategies for leaders and employees to handle heightened emotions effectively. Cherolyn brings her extensive experience as a lawyer, mediator, and workplace investigator to provide valuable insights into managing difficult situations and maintaining professional relationships. Understanding Emotional Contagion Megan and Cherolyn discuss how emotions spread in workplace settings - similar to WiFi - and the importance of being aware of this phenomenon. They emphasize the distinction between experiencing emotions and reacting to them, highlighting how unmanaged emotions can escalate conflicts and disrupt workplace harmony. The Power of Emotional Regulation The conversation delves into practical techniques for emotional regulation, including the crucial "calm before think" approach. They explore how taking even a brief moment to regulate emotions can lead to better decision-making and more productive interactions. The discussion includes specific strategies like grounding exercises and positive self-talk that can be implemented immediately in workplace settings. Time Investment in Emotional Management A significant portion of the episode focuses on why investing time in emotional management isn't just beneficial - it's essential for workplace efficiency. Megan and Cherolyn explain how taking short breaks to address emotional situations can actually save time in the long run by preventing larger conflicts from developing. Questions we answer in this episode: What does unmanaged emotion look like in the workplace? How can leaders help team members who are experiencing emotional outbursts? What immediate steps can anyone take to regain emotional control? Why is emotional regulation crucial for workplace success? How can we break the cycle of emotional contagion? Key Takeaways: Emotions are contagious in workplace settings Breathing exercises can quickly restore calm and rational thinking Grounding techniques using five senses help manage emotional reactions Positive self-talk is a powerful tool for emotional regulation Small time investments in emotional management yield significant returns This episode provides invaluable insights for anyone looking to improve their emotional management skills in professional settings. Whether you're a leader managing team dynamics or an employee navigating workplace relationships, the practical strategies and real-world examples offered by Megan and Cherolyn provide a comprehensive toolkit for maintaining emotional equilibrium in challenging situations. Links & Other Notes TRAINING LEADERS TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Leaders Training COACHES TRAINING: New Ways for Work® Coaches Training ARTICLES Keep the Conflict Small! (With Managed Emotions) How to Avoid Getting Hooked by High Conflict Behavior BOOKS Calming Upset People with EAR 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:42) - Managing Emotions (02:22) - Welcome Back, Cherolyn! (02:58) - Cherolyn’s Background (05:32) - Where and How to Display Emotions (07:17) - Our Feelings and How We Express Them (08:59) - Unmanaged Emotions (11:18) - Bringing Someone Down (15:59) - Things to Avoid Doing (18:59) - Take the Time (20:56) - Grounding (24:31) - Positive Self-Talk (28:08) - New Ways for Work Coaching (30:41) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Borderline Personality Disorder Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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When Home Hurts: Managing High Conflict's Impact on Your Career 38:16

13 дней назад38:16

38:16

When High Conflict at Home Impacts the Workplace In this powerful episode, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore how personal conflicts and challenging situations at home can significantly affect workplace performance and mental wellbeing. The hosts dive deep into understanding the impact of home-based stress on professional life, while offering practical solutions for both employees and employers dealing with these situations. The episode examines how criticism, verbal abuse, and high conflict situations at home can deplete an individual's emotional resources before they even arrive at work. Bill and Megan discuss the neuroscience behind stress responses, particularly focusing on how the amygdala's fight-or-flight response can impact professional performance. They explore how encouraging self-statements can act as a protective shield against negative emotions and criticism. A significant portion of the discussion centers on workplace dynamics and communication strategies. Bill and Megan provide valuable insights into when and how to communicate with employers about personal situations, emphasizing the importance of maintaining appropriate boundaries while seeking support. They also address the employer's perspective, offering guidance on creating supportive workplace environments without compromising professional standards. Questions we answer in this episode: How does high conflict at home affect workplace performance? What strategies can employees use to manage personal stress at work? When should an employee disclose personal conflicts to their employer? How can employers support staff dealing with high conflict situations? What role do encouraging self-statements play in managing conflict? Key Takeaways: Encouraging self-statements can help block negative emotions Personal conflicts can significantly impact workplace performance The BIF method (Brief, Informative, Friendly and firm) helps manage difficult communications Consider consulting EAP resources before discussing issues with employers Employers should lead with empathy while maintaining appropriate boundaries This episode provides essential insights for anyone navigating the challenging intersection between personal conflicts and professional life. Whether you're an employee dealing with high conflict situations at home or an employer seeking to support your team members effectively, this discussion offers practical, actionable strategies for maintaining workplace productivity while supporting mental health and wellbeing. Links & Other Notes NEWSLETTER Sign up BOOKS 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life BIFF at Work It's All Your Fault at Work! ARTICLES New Ways for Work®: A New Coaching Method COURSES New Ways for Work®: Training for Leaders (for managers, supervisors, etc. to learn how to handle high-conflict at work) New Ways for Work®: Training for Coaches (for workplace coaches to learn this method to use with clients/coachees) CLASSES: Conflict Influencer™ Class (to learn how to deal with high-conflict) OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:38) - Impact Inside the Workplace when High Conflict’s Happening Outside of It (02:07) - Catching Up (05:53) - What High Conflict Feels Like When You're Involved In It (08:18) - Criticism and Beyond (11:24) - Stress and the Brain (14:02) - Conflict Tolerance (17:35) - When You Have to Go to Work (21:02) - Encouraging Statements (23:50) - High Conflict Interruptions (27:57) - Talking to Your Employer (32:25) - If You’re the Employer (36:08) - Wrap Up (37:06) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: TBD Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Seeds of Personality: Understanding Psychopathy's Origins and Impact (Part 2) 34:02

20 дней назад34:02

34:02

Understanding Psychopathy: Nature, Nurture, and Warning Signs In this enlightening continuation of their discussion on psychopathy, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter delve deeper into understanding how personality patterns develop and why some individuals with psychopathic traits go undetected. Following up on their previous episode exploring the $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system, Bill and Megan examine whether someone can suddenly "become" psychopathic and discuss the crucial developmental stages that shape personality. The episode explores the fascinating intersection of genetics, early childhood experiences, and cultural environment in forming personality patterns. Bill and Megan emphasize how the first five years of life are particularly crucial in personality development, with many patterns established by age six. They share valuable insights about identifying warning signs in relationships and workplaces, while discussing the historical evolutionary advantages that may have contributed to these personality traits surviving in human populations. The conversation takes an important turn toward practical advice, offering guidance for those who suspect they might be in a relationship with someone showing psychopathic traits. Bill and Megan discuss treatment possibilities, safety considerations, and the importance of seeking professional help when needed. Questions we answer in this episode: Can someone suddenly "switch" to become psychopathic? How do early childhood experiences shape personality development? What are the warning signs of psychopathic traits in relationships? Is psychopathy treatable? How can you safely handle relationships with someone showing these traits? Key Takeaways: Personality patterns are largely established by age 5-6 Genetics play a significant role in antisocial personality traits Warning signs include disconnects between words and actions Treatment options are limited, especially for adults Safety should be the primary concern when leaving these relationships This episode provides essential information for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on relationships and society. Through practical examples and expert insights, listeners gain valuable knowledge about recognizing warning signs and protecting themselves while maintaining professional and personal relationships. Links & Other Notes PSYCHOPATHY ARTICLE Berkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why? BOOKS It's All Your Fault at Work! It's All Your Fault! Our New World of Adult Bullies COURSES Handling Family Law Cases Involving Antisocial High Conflict People ARTICLES Living with High-Conflict People: Do’s and Don’ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict People The Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict People Sociopaths and Their Deceptions Manipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:40) - Psychopathy Part 2 (02:10) - Can a Switch Be Flipped? (04:27) - The First Five Years (09:05) - Looking for Signs (14:54) - Pushing Forward (23:14) - What to Do (26:13) - Treatment (30:14) - Wrap Up (32:00) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Beyond the Mask: Understanding Psychopathy in Modern Society (Part 1) 37:37

27 дней назад37:37

37:37

Understanding Psychopathy: Costs, Characteristics, and Social Impact (Part 1) In this first episode of a two-part series, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter explore psychopathy, its relationship to antisocial personality disorder, and its staggering $460 billion annual cost to the US criminal justice system. Drawing from recent research and their extensive experience at the High Conflict Institute, Bill and Megan break down complex psychological concepts into practical, understandable terms. The Spectrum of Antisocial Behavior Bill and Megan discuss how antisocial personality disorder manifests, its early warning signs, and its relationship to psychopathy. They explore how these traits appear in various settings — from business environments to personal relationships — and why early intervention is crucial, particularly before age 15. Understanding Psychopathy's Three Key Features The episode delves into the three main characteristics of psychopathy: disinhibition (extreme risk-taking), callousness (lack of empathy), and boldness (absence of fear). Bill and Megan examine how these traits manifest in real-world situations and their implications for relationships and society. Modern Diagnosis and Assessment The hosts explore the shift from viewing personality traits as fixed characteristics to understanding them as dimensions on a spectrum. This modern approach allows for more nuanced understanding and assessment of psychopathic traits. Questions we answer in this episode: What is the difference between antisocial personality disorder, sociopathy, and psychopathy? How early can antisocial behaviors be identified? Can someone with these traits change with treatment? What role does empathy play in psychopathy? How do these personalities impact everyday relationships? Key Takeaways: Psychopathy costs the US criminal justice system approximately $460 billion annually Early intervention (before age 15) is crucial for changing antisocial behaviors Antisocial personality disorder affects about 4% of adults, while psychopathy affects about 1% People with these traits often display instrumental empathy rather than genuine empathy Understanding these traits can help with protection and boundary-setting This first episode in the two-part series provides invaluable insights for anyone seeking to understand psychopathy and its impact on society. Whether you're a professional working with high conflict personalities or simply interested in understanding complex human behavior, Bill and Megan's expert analysis offers practical knowledge and protective strategies. Tune in next week for Part 2, which will explore genetics, causation, and additional dimensions of psychopathy. Links & Other Notes PSYCHOPATHY ARTICLE: Berkeley Voices Psychopathy goes undetected in some people. Why? THE MOVIE BILL BROUGHT UP AS A GOOD EXAMPLE OF THIS: Catch Me If You Can BOOKS It's All Your Fault at Work! It's All Your Fault! Our New World of Adult Bullies ARTICLES Living with High-Conflict People: Do’s and Don’ts for Living with an Antisocial High Conflict People The Sociopath: Antisocial High Conflict People Sociopaths and Their Deceptions Manipulators in Plain Sight: Spotting Antisocial Personality Disorder OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:40) - Psychopathy (02:22) - Background for the Conversation (04:10) - Antisocial vs. Psychopath vs. Sociopath (05:47) - Antisocial Personality Disorder (19:12) - Bill’s Books (19:43) - Psychopathy and Sociopathy (22:17) - Disinhibition (25:36) - Callousness (29:52) - Boldness (32:07) - Personality Dimensions (35:53) - Wrap Up (36:22) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Psychopathy Part 2 Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Meet Judge Bruce R. Cohen (ret.): Family Court Success from Both Sides of the Bench 46:17

5 weeks назад46:17

46:17

Welcome Judge Cohen: A Fresh Perspective on Family Court Join Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter as they welcome retired Judge Bruce R. Cohen to the High Conflict Institute team. This episode explores the human side of family court proceedings through Judge Cohen's unique lens, developed over 24 years as a family law attorney and nearly 20 years on the bench in Arizona's Superior Court. Understanding Best Interests and Judicial Perspective Judge Cohen shares invaluable insights about the concept of "best interests of the child" and how it's applied in family court. He explains how the legal framework has evolved beyond gender preferences to focus on meeting children's specific needs. Through personal anecdotes, including the transformative "Bonnie story," Judge Cohen illustrates how maintaining presence and recognizing humanity in each case leads to better outcomes. Breaking Down Family Court Success The discussion delves into practical advice for presenting cases effectively in family court. Rather than chronological presentations or attempts to prove who's "right," success comes from focusing on children's needs and each parent's ability to meet them. Bill and Megan explore with Judge Cohen how understanding jurisdictional factors and avoiding assumptions about bias can strengthen case presentations. Questions we answer in this episode: How do judges determine what's truly in a child's best interests? What factors should parents focus on when presenting their case? How has gender bias evolved in family court? What makes a case "high conflict"? How can parents shift focus from being right to getting it right? Key Takeaways: Focus on children's needs and your ability to meet them rather than chronological events Present yourself authentically rather than assuming judicial bias Understand your jurisdiction's specific factors for determining best interests Recognize that credibility increases when acknowledging both strengths and weaknesses Success comes from focusing on future solutions rather than past grievances This episode offers unique insights from both sides of the bench, providing valuable perspective for anyone navigating family court. Judge Cohen's practical wisdom, combined with Bill and Megan's expertise, creates an essential resource for understanding how to approach family court proceedings effectively. Links & Other Notes JUDGE BRUCE R. COHEN (RET.) Bio https://highconflictinstitute.com/our-team/ BOOKS Managing High Conflict People in Court The Future of Family Court NEWSLETTER Sign up for our newsletter CLASSES & CONSULTATIONS New Ways for Families® online class for parents Conflict Influencer™ online group for parents or anyone 1:1 Consultation with Bill Eddy/Megan Hunter OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:03) - Welcome Judge Bruce R. Cohen (Ret.) (02:30) - Judge Cohen’s Background (07:02) - Connecting (09:29) - The Bonnie Story (14:19) - Time in Court (15:21) - Bill’s Time in Court (18:00) - Communicate Simply (28:30) - Best Interest Factors (30:51) - Gender Issues (36:32) - Control What You Can Control (38:08) - Identify Needs of Child (40:23) - High Conflict Cases (44:56) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Answering Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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REBROADCAST: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life 43:59

10 weeks назад43:59

43:59

Rebroadcast Alert: Our Most Popular Episode! Dive into the world of High Conflict Personalities (HCPs) and the five personality disorders that often fuel their behavior. In this groundbreaking episode from Season 1, Bill and Megan explore the common traits of HCPs, including blaming others, all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors. Discover why traditional methods of interaction often fail with HCPs and gain valuable insights into managing these challenging relationships. Whether you're dealing with a narcissist, borderline, antisocial, paranoid, or histrionic personality, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to navigate high-conflict situations with greater understanding and effectiveness. Don't miss this opportunity to learn from our most popular episode and transform your approach to high-conflict personalities! REBROADCAST When an HCP also has a personality disorder... Personality disorder or not, people with a high conflict personality (HCPs) have a pattern of high-conflict behavior that increases conflict rather than reducing or resolving it. This pattern usually happens over and over again in many different situations with many different people. The issue that seems in conflict at the time is not what is increasing the conflict. The “issue” is the high-conflict personality and how the person approaches problem-solving. With HCPs, the pattern of behavior often includes a lot of these four characteristics: Blaming others All-or-nothing thinking Unmanaged emotions Extreme behaviors HCPs also seem to have personality disorders or some traits of these disorders. This means that they have long-term patterns of: Interpersonal dysfunction Lack of reflection on their own behavior Lack of change Mental health professionals have identified ten personality disorders. Five of these have a tendency to become HCPs: those with narcissistic, borderline, antisocial, paranoid, or histrionic personality disorders or traits. This helps us understand why they stay stuck in conflict – namely because of two reasons: they don’t reflect on their part of the problem, and they don’t change. So, the conflict continues or gets worse. Perhaps you know someone with this pattern. Someone who insists that you – or someone you know – is entirely to blame for a large or small (or non-existent) problem. If so, he or she may be an HCP and you likely have felt targeted by them and unsure what to do. In this episode, Bill and Megan give an overview of the five types and why the ways we interact with them don’t work, and why you can’t get them to reflect on themselves. Send us your stories! We’d love to hear your stories so we can talk through them on the show! Please visit our site and click the ‘Submit a Question’ button at the top of the page. You can also send us an email at podcast@highconflictinstitute.com or send us a note on any of our socials. Please rate, review and share this show! Links & Other Notes Books: 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life : Identifying and Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other High-Conflict Personalities It’s All Your Fault: Managing Narcissists and Other High Conflict People It’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books and some in audio format. Training: Who Are High Conflict People? Understanding & Managing High Conflict People in Legal Disputes Articles: High Conflict People in Civil Litigation Handling High Conflict Situations During the Holidays OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (02:42) - HCPs In Your Life (03:47) - Four Key Characteristics (06:27) - All or Nothing Thinking (08:48) - Personalities (10:11) - Unmanaged Emotions (11:55) - Giving It Time (13:21) - They Don't Stop Themselves (15:06) - Look for the Pattern (17:41) - Five Personality Disorder Types (21:45) - Range of HCP? (23:34) - They're Everywhere (26:31) - HCPs in Court Cases (28:07) - Antisocial (30:42) - Always Check Yourself (32:57) - Where These Types Pop Up (35:38) - When These Overlap (38:08) - Bipolar (41:42) - Wrapping Up (42:52) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: The Narcissistic HCP Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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REBROADCAST: Co-Parenting by Design with Lawyers Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner 48:48

12 weeks назад48:48

48:48

With the recent release of "Co-Parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents," we're excited to revisit our enlightening conversation with authors Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner. In this episode, Megan sits down with these experienced family law attorneys and parenting coordinators to discuss the challenges of co-parenting and share practical advice for navigating high-conflict situations. From understanding the role of parenting coordinators to adapting to change and prioritizing children's needs, this timely rebroadcast is packed with invaluable insights for divorced or separated parents at any stage of their co-parenting journey. REBROADCAST Navigating the Challenges of Co-Parenting: Insights from Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner In this episode of "It's All Your Fault," Megan is joined by two special guests, Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, co-authors of the upcoming book Co-Parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents . Annette and Nicole, both experienced family law attorneys and parenting coordinators, share their insights on navigating the complexities of co-parenting and offer practical advice for parents facing high conflict situations. Understanding the Role of Parenting Coordinators Megan, Annette, and Nicole delve into the crucial role of parenting coordinators in helping divorced or separated parents resolve disputes and maintain focus on their children's best interests. They discuss how parenting coordinators act as referees, mediators, and educators, assisting parents in making decisions on issues such as parenting schedules, school choice, and healthcare. Adapting to Change and Prioritizing Children's Needs The guests emphasize the importance of adaptability in co-parenting, as children's needs and circumstances evolve over time. They highlight the challenges parents face when adjusting to new situations, such as remarriage, relocation, and changes in parenting time. Annette and Nicole stress the significance of prioritizing children's well-being and maintaining consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible. Questions we answer in this episode: What is a parenting coordinator, and how can they help divorced or separated parents? How can parents navigate changes in their children's lives and adapt their co-parenting strategies? What is parallel parenting, and when is it an appropriate approach? How can parents handle disagreements over parenting styles and household rules? What resources are available for parents struggling with high conflict co-parenting situations? Key Takeaways: Parenting coordinators play a vital role in assisting divorced or separated parents in resolving disputes and focusing on their children's best interests. Adaptability is crucial in co-parenting as children's needs and circumstances change over time. Parallel parenting can be an effective approach for high conflict situations, but its implementation varies depending on the family's unique dynamics. Parents should strive for consistency in parenting approaches whenever possible while respecting each other's parenting time and decision-making authority. Seeking education, resources, and support from professionals can help parents navigate the challenges of high conflict co-parenting. This episode offers invaluable insights and practical advice for divorced or separated parents facing the challenges of co-parenting. By learning from the expertise of Annette Burns and Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner, listeners can gain a deeper understanding of how to prioritize their children's well-being, adapt to change, and navigate high conflict situations. Co-Parenting by Design promises to be an essential resource for parents, lawyers, and judges alike, providing guidance and strategies for creating a healthier co-parenting dynamic. Links & Other Notes BOOKS Co-parenting by Design: The Definitive Guide for Divorced or Separated Parents GUEST BIOS Annette T. Burns, JD Nicole Siqueiros-Stoutner OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:39) - Co-Parenting by Design (01:14) - Meet Annette and Nicole (04:14) - How It Came About (08:56) - Parenting Coordinators (12:58) - Agreements (16:53) - Different Rules (22:00) - Parallel Parenting (26:16) - Multiple Court Trips (30:30) - Alienation (39:41) - Advice on Family Law (44:15) - The Book (47:00) - Wrap Up (47:18) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Co-Parenting By Design Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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REBROADCAST: Holiday Harmony: Keeping The Peace at Family Celebrations 18:02

13 weeks назад18:02

18:02

As we approach the holiday season, we thought it would be the perfect time to revisit one of our most popular episodes from last year. In the spirit of the season, we're rebroadcasting our timely discussion on maintaining harmony and peace during holiday gatherings. Whether you're hosting or attending a get-together with family and friends, the tips and insights shared by Bill and Megan from the High Conflict Institute are as relevant as ever. So, sit back, relax, and join us as we explore effective strategies for avoiding and defusing conflicts, ensuring that your holiday celebrations are filled with joy, connection, and understanding. Happy holidays! REBROADCAST Keeping the Peace This Holiday Season Bill and Megan share tips for avoiding and defusing conflict at holiday gatherings. They offer insights from their work at the High Conflict Institute. In this timely episode, Bill and Megan explain how to prevent and de-escalate heated arguments that often arise when families reconnect after time apart. Listeners gain practical techniques to maintain a peaceful, enjoyable atmosphere. Avoiding Hot-Button Topics Bill notes that the high-emotion holidays can bring out uncontrolled behavior in some. He suggests posting a respectful gathering policy and having “minders” to gently redirect tense interactions. Megan explores preparation strategies like using self-talk and conversation redirection. Scheduling reminders helps you remember useful tools in the moment. Defusing Tensions Bill advocates saving sensitive discussions for one-on-one talks, where polarization decreases. Groups often split into factions and fuel discord. Megan shares a touching example of connection occurring when two mothers met and shared their grief privately. Individual stories build bridges. Why It Matters Bill and Megan provide simple but powerful ways to maintain self-control and model peaceful conflict resolution this season. Their advice offers pathways to joyful gatherings. Questions we answer: How can hosts set ground rules for respectful interactions? What tools can help individuals avoid unproductive fights? When and how should difficult topics be addressed? Key Takeaways: Posting expectations and having “minders” can prevent problems. Preparation and self-talk help you respond calmly in the moment. Save sensitive talks for one-on-one conversations later. Shared stories build connections between individuals. This timely episode provides useful techniques to prevent discord and promote goodwill this holiday season. Bill and Megan’s practical advice will help listeners consciously create an atmosphere of peace, joy and understanding. Links & Other Notes RESPECTFUL GATHERING POLICY Download HCI’s Respectful Gathering Policy to hang up before your holiday gatherings BOOKS Calming Upset People with EAR (communication technique) ARTICLES Handling High Conflict Situations During the Holidays Calming Holiday Conflicts OUR WEBSITE: https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:34) - Holiday Conflict (02:19) - When Someone Says Something (05:58) - If You're Hosting (08:15) - Respectful Gathering Policy (09:05) - Be Prepared (11:42) - Giving Yourself Encouraging Statements (13:30) - If You Want to Discuss the Topics (15:47) - Reason-Able (16:57) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: A New Season! Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Safeguarding Seniors: Protecting the Elderly from High Conflict Personalities 39:47

14 weeks назад39:47

39:47

Protecting the Elderly from High Conflict Personalities In this episode, Bill and Megan explore the challenges faced by the elderly population in dealing with high conflict personalities. As the global population ages and birth rates decline, it's crucial to understand how to identify and manage individuals who may pose a threat to the well-being of our elderly loved ones. The hosts discuss how high conflict personalities, such as those with antisocial, narcissistic, or borderline traits, can take advantage of the elderly's vulnerability through manipulation and control. They provide practical advice on recognizing red flags and supporting elderly individuals who may be experiencing abuse. Questions we answer in this episode: What makes the elderly vulnerable to high conflict personalities? How can you identify potential abuse of an elderly loved one? What steps can you take to support and protect an elderly individual? Key Takeaways: High conflict personalities often lack restraints, making the elderly more vulnerable to manipulation. Loneliness and isolation can make the elderly more susceptible to being taken advantage of. It's essential to ask specific questions about potential abuse, as the elderly may be afraid to speak up. Family members and friends should stay involved in the lives of their elderly loved ones and be vigilant in recognizing signs of abuse. This episode provides valuable insights and advice for anyone with elderly loved ones. By understanding the challenges faced by the elderly and learning to identify and manage high conflict personalities, listeners can play an active role in protecting the well-being of the older generation. Links & Other Notes BOOKS Our New World of Adult Bullies 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life CLASS Conflict Influencer™ Class ARTICLES Protecting the Elderly in Our New World of Adult Bullies OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including audio and e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (01:43) - Podcast Update (13:39) - The Elderly and High Conflict (25:34) - When They Deny It (28:22) - CARS Method (32:55) - Being Targeted (35:08) - Keep an Eye Out for Them (37:45) - Wrap Up (38:30) - See You Next Year! Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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More High Conflict Questions Answered: Self-Discovery, Court Battles & Family Dynamics 32:42

15 weeks назад32:42

32:42

Navigating High Conflict Relationships: Your Questions Answered In this ask-and-answer episode of It's All Your Fault, hosts Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter from the High Conflict Institute tackle three key listener questions about managing challenging relationships and dealing with high conflict personalities. First Question: "What do you suggest for someone who realizes they have a high conflict personality?" Bill and Megan explore self-awareness as the crucial first step toward positive change, offering practical steps for self-improvement and resources available through the High Conflict Institute. Second Question: From a professional helping a client whose "ex-wife is creating chaos with false allegations." The hosts address this challenging custody situation, offering practical advice for self-represented individuals in family court. Bill shares specific strategies for organizing and presenting evidence effectively. Third Question: Dealing with an adult brother who moved back in with elderly parents, leading to family rifts and restraining orders. Bill and Megan discuss the concept of "negative advocates" and provide strategies for maintaining relationships when family members take sides in conflicts. Questions we answer in this episode: What resources help someone identify and address their own high conflict behaviors? How can someone self-representing handle false allegations in family court? What strategies work when dealing with negative advocates in family conflicts? How can you support an elderly parent struggling with family conflict? What approaches help maintain relationships during family disputes? Key Takeaways: Self-awareness is the first step in addressing high conflict behaviors Focus on three main patterns when presenting evidence in court Maintain gentle, friendly communication with family members who've taken sides Professional local support is crucial for specific situation guidance Understanding negative advocacy helps navigate family conflicts This episode provides practical guidance for anyone dealing with high conflict relationships, whether personally experiencing these behaviors or managing them in others. Bill and Megan offer actionable advice while maintaining sensitivity toward complex family dynamics. Links & Other Notes BOOKS It’s All Your Fault! 12 Tips for Managing People Who Blame Others for Everything Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder COURSES New Ways for Families Course + Coaching for Co-Parents Conflict Influencer Class (for everyone) PROFESSIONAL TRAINING New Ways for Families Training OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:37) - More Listener Questions (02:27) - Question #1: When You Realize It’s You (13:44) - Question #2: When They’re Making Allegations (19:25) - Question #3: When It Hurts Older Family Members (31:25) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: In the Workplace Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Family Court Q&A: Parental Alienation, Abuse Claims, and When to Stop Fighting 32:45

16 weeks назад32:45

32:45

Tackling Listener Questions on High Conflict Personalities in Family Law In this episode of It's All Your Fault, Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter address questions from two listeners about high conflict personalities in family law. They dive into the complexities of parental alienation, domestic violence allegations, and when to stop fighting in court. Listener Question 1: Understanding Parental Alienation and Estrangement The first listener asks about the confusion surrounding parental alienation. Bill defines key terms: "refuse and resist," parental alienation, and realistic estrangement. He explains the differences between alienation caused by one parent's behavior and estrangement resulting from a parent's own actions, such as domestic violence or child abuse. Listener Question 2: When to Stop Fighting in Court The second listener, from Australia, asks when to give up the fight with a high conflict ex-partner who continues to violate court orders. Bill and Megan address the issue of "legal abuse" and the limitations of the court system in handling these situations effectively. Questions We Answer in This Episode: What is the difference between parental alienation and realistic estrangement? How common are false allegations of abuse in family court? When should you stop fighting in court with a high conflict ex-partner? Key Takeaways: Consider all possibilities in each case without presumptions. Parental alienation and domestic violence both exist and require careful assessment. Fighting in court for more than two years may be counterproductive. Obtain transcripts of court hearings to address false statements or bad decisions. This episode provides valuable insights for anyone navigating high conflict personalities in family law. Bill and Megan offer a balanced perspective, emphasizing the need for an open mind and case-by-case analysis. Links & Other Notes BOOKS Don’t Alienate the Kids: Raising Resilient Children While Avoiding High-Conflict Divorce The High-Conflict Co-Parenting Survival Guide COURSES New Ways for Families Course + Coaching for Co-Parents Conflict Influencer Class OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. Nor are we providing legal of therapeutic advice. Please seek the assistance of your local professionals to seek help. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:36) - Listener Questions (01:18) - Question 1: Parental Alienation (22:55) - Question 2: When to Give In (31:38) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: More Listener Questions Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Paranoid Personality Profiles: 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 7) 37:48

17 weeks назад37:48

37:48

Paranoid High Conflict Personalities: Navigating Mistrust and Suspicion In the final episode of their "Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Bill and Megan explore the world of paranoid high conflict personalities. They offer insights on identifying and managing these challenging relationships, explaining that individuals with paranoid traits exhibit pervasive mistrust and suspicion, often believing others are conspiring against them. Bill and Megan provide strategies for dealing with paranoid high conflict personalities, such as clear communication, setting boundaries, and seeking support. They also discuss the impact of technology and social media on paranoid thinking. Questions we answer in this episode: What are the key characteristics of paranoid high conflict personalities? How can you manage relationships with these individuals? What resources are available for those dealing with paranoid high conflict personalities? Key Takeaways: Paranoid high conflict personalities are characterized by pervasive mistrust and suspicion. Clear communication and boundary-setting are crucial in managing these relationships. Seek support and resources when dealing with paranoid high conflict personalities. As the conclusion to the "Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, this episode empowers listeners to navigate challenging interactions with paranoid high conflict personalities, providing practical strategies and a deeper understanding of this personality type. Links & Other Notes Bill’s guest spot on Dr. Andrew Huberman’s “Huberman Lab” podcast BOOKS 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life It's All Your Fault! ARTICLES Living With Suspicion: Paranoid High Conflict People Compassion for High Conflict People CLASSES Conflict Influencer OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:46) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Paranoid (01:22) - Bill's Guest Appearance (06:17) - Paranoid HCPs (10:09) - In a Romantic Relationship (12:05) - Stats (14:43) - Mistrust (16:32) - Targets of Blame (20:22) - Targeting (26:23) - What Can You Do (31:16) - Example (36:14) - Wrap Up (36:38) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Asked and Answered Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Histrionics Unveiled: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 6) 36:22

18 weeks назад36:22

36:22

The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Series: Histrionic High Conflict Personalities In this installment of "The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life" series, Megan and Bill explore the world of histrionic high conflict personalities. They discuss the key characteristics of histrionics, including exaggerated emotions, a constant need for attention, and a tendency to misjudge relationships. Surprisingly, despite cultural stereotypes, research shows histrionic personality disorder is equally common in men and women. Bill and Megan also delve into how social media and influencer culture can feed histrionic tendencies, while emphasizing that having some traits doesn't necessarily indicate a disorder. Questions we answer in this episode: What defines a histrionic personality? Is histrionic personality disorder more common in men or women? How can you deal with exhausting histrionic behavior? Key Takeaways: Histrionic personalities are characterized by drama and a need for attention. Histrionic personality disorder involves a pattern of blaming others. Setting clear boundaries is crucial when dealing with histrionic behavior. Whether you have a histrionic person in your life or want to learn more about high conflict personalities, this episode offers valuable insights and practical strategies for navigating these challenging dynamics. Links & Other Notes BOOKS 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life It's All Your Fault! ARTICLES Dealing with Drama: Histrionic High Conflict People Living with High-Conflict People Series: Do’s and Don’ts for living with a Histrionic High-Conflict Person OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life: Histrionic (01:30) - What Is Histrionic? (08:33) - Misjudgment of Relationships (11:14) - Drawing Others In (13:16) - In Daily Life (15:34) - Frequency (19:10) - Men and Women (23:27) - Ancient Histrionic Personalities and Influencers (27:52) - Skills to Relieve Exhaustion (30:02) - Negative Advocates (31:17) - Lying and Exaggeration (32:32) - Paul McCartney (35:13) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: Paranoid Personalities Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Unmasking the Narcissist: The 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life (Part 5) 47:58

19 weeks назад47:58

47:58

Navigating Narcissistic High Conflict Personalities In this revealing episode of "It's All Your Fault," part of the Five Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life series, Megan Hunter and Bill Eddy explore the world of narcissistic high conflict personalities. They delve into the key traits of narcissists, the distinction between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists, and the potential connection between narcissistic personalities and domestic violence. Recognizing Narcissistic High Conflict Personalities Bill and Megan outline the defining characteristics of narcissistic high conflict personalities, such as their incessant need to feel superior, their sense of entitlement, and their lack of empathy. They explain how these individuals often exploit and mistreat others to preserve their grandiose self-image and how they respond when confronted with perceived challenges to their superiority. The Two Faces of Narcissism: Grandiose vs. Vulnerable Not all narcissists are alike. Bill and Megan explore the contrasts between grandiose and vulnerable narcissists. Grandiose narcissists tend to be more calculated and predatory in their actions, while vulnerable narcissists are generally more reactive and emotionally unstable. Grasping these nuances can be essential in recognizing and handling high conflict personalities. Narcissism in Various Contexts Narcissistic personalities can be encountered in various aspects of life, but some fields and occupations appear to draw them more than others. Bill and Megan discuss the prevalence of narcissists in healthcare, higher education, and the tech industry, and how these individuals can foster toxic work environments and strained relationships. Questions we answer in this episode: What defines narcissistic high conflict personalities? How do grandiose and vulnerable narcissists differ in their conduct? Which fields and occupations are more likely to attract narcissistic personalities? Is there a link between narcissism and domestic violence? How can you identify and cope with a narcissistic high conflict personality? Key Takeaways: Narcissistic high conflict personalities constantly strive to feel superior and entitled. They often lack empathy and manipulate others to uphold their inflated self-image. Grandiose narcissists are more calculated, while vulnerable narcissists are more reactive. Some fields, like healthcare and higher education, may attract more narcissists. Recognizing the differences between narcissistic personalities can aid in identifying and managing them. This episode offers valuable insights into the intricate realm of narcissistic high conflict personalities. Whether you're navigating a relationship with a narcissist in your personal life or at work, Bill and Megan's expertise and practical guidance can help you manage these challenging interactions and safeguard your well-being. Links & Other Notes COURSES Conversations About Domestic Violence in Family Law with 16 Experts Handling Family Law Cases Involving Narcissistic High Conflict People BOOKS 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Dating Radar Splitting: Protecting Yourself While Divorcing Someone with Borderline or Narcissistic Personality Disorder ARTICLES Domestic Violence vs. High Conflict Families: Are one or two people driving the conflict? Narcissists As Leaders Living with High Conflict People Series: Do’s and Don’ts for Living with a Narcissist High Conflict Person Narcissists as Leaders: Good or Bad for Your Organization? DOMESTIC VIOLENCE HELP National Domestic Violence Hotline 800.799.SAFE (7233) USA Services Australia Family Violence Resources Canada OTHER COUNTRIES: do an online search for “domestic violence in ___ (your country or city’s name)” OUR WEBSITE : https://www.highconflictinstitute.com/ Submit a Question for Bill and Megan All of our books can be found in our online store or anywhere books are sold, including as e-books. You can also find these show notes at our site as well. Note: We are not diagnosing anyone in our discussions, merely discussing general patterns of behavior. (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault (00:38) - 5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life Part 6 (01:18) - Narcissistic HCPs (02:48) - Social Impairment and/or Internal Distress (04:55) - See Themselves as Superior (12:02) - Feeling Entitled to Special Treatment (13:16) - Lacking Empathy (21:12) - Stats (24:06) - The Two Types (27:17) - Lying (29:41) - Apologizing (33:01) - Domestic Violence (35:10) - Stalking (36:00) - Letting Go of Relationships (40:11) - Signs If It’s Your Partner (44:10) - Steps to Take (46:29) - Reminders & Coming Next Week: A Special Guest Learn more about our New Ways for Mediation Coaching Sessions . Get started today!…

It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People

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Asked and Answered: Your Questions on High Conflict Personalities, Relationships, and Self-Improvement 29:52

20 weeks назад29:52