Treat People As Individuals // Essential Life Skills, Part 8

A Different Perspective Official Podcast

The more electronic, the more digital, the more transactional this world becomes, the greater is the temptation to treat everyone the same. But we’re not all the same. We’re all different. Very, very different.

One of the things that’s incredibly precious to each one of us is our own name. It’s an odd thing when you think about it. I mean, a name is just a label; it’s a unique identifier, but if that’s all that there was to it, we could just have a number. Why don’t we change your name to 7449018? ‘G’day, 7449018! How are you?’ It just doesn’t have the same ring about it, does it?

And there’s a reason for that. Our name speaks something of our uniqueness into this world, and so we become incredibly attached to our names. I love the fact that my name is Berni; B e r n I with no e on the end, because that’s how my parents spelt it, and that’s how it is. I often find myself telling people when they’re writing down my name, ‘There’s no e on the end.’ Why? I mean, does it really matter? Well, actually yes, it does matter to me, just as your name matters to you

Think about this: God knows you by name. Isaiah 43:1:

But now, thus says the LORD; He who created you, o Jacob, He who formed you, o Israel: ‘Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, and you are Mine.’

When God thinks of you, He thinks of you by name. When He looks at you, He sees you and He knows your name. When you’re in trouble (in distress) and you cry out to Him, He knows your name. Jesus put it beautifully in John 10:2-3:

The one who enters by the gate is the shepherd of the sheep. The gatekeeper opens the gate for him, and the sheep hear his voice; he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.

Imagine, then, how it feels for someone else when you forget their name: When you’ve met them once, and then you see them again, and you just don’t remember their name. That person’s name is one of the single-most precious things they have, just as your name is one of the single-most precious things that you have, and when we remember other people’s names, it so honours them. It speaks to them of the respect that we have for them.

Honestly, I sometimes struggle to remember people’s names. I travel round the world and meet many, many people, so for me, it’s really quite an occupational challenge, but as best I can, I try to remember their names. I enlist help from our local staff to coach me, and to remind me of people’s names.

God remembers us by name. That’s incredible! God Himself knows your name. How does that make you feel? So imagine the power of remembering and using the names of the people you meet. What a life skill! And imagine building on that and treating each person, interacting with each person, building a relationship with each person, based on who they really are.

It’s tempting, you know, to treat everyone the same, as though somehow we are all the same. Let’s face it: By and large, our default position is that everyone sees things the way we do; everyone experiences things the way we do. Of course in theory, we know that’s not true, but in practice, that’s pretty much how we behave.

And when people don’t see things the way we want them to, when they don’t react to things the way we expect them to ... well, we respond with surprise, with annoyance and oftentimes, in anger. Just as everybody has their own unique name, so everyone has their own specific God-given gifts. They tend to see things (just as, in fact, we do) through the lens of those gifts, and through the lens of their experience: The good things they’ve been through, and the bad things as well.

Come on. What makes us imagine for one moment that people all see things the way we do? And why is it that we’re so surprised when they don’t? God’s Word is pretty clear on this. Romans 4:4-6:

For as in one body we have many members, and not all members have the same function, so we who are many are one body in Christ, and individually we are members of one another. We have gifts that differ, according to the grace given to us.

Take a look at any roomful of people: Thirty, forty, a hundred, a thousand, and what you’ll notice is that other than the odd pair of identical twins, everybody looks different; different hair-colours, styles, eye-colour, complexion, the way they dress, the way they talk, and even the identical twins when you get to know them are often quite different.

So imagine ... I mean just imagine ... if we started working, living, interacting with people, building relationships with people, on the basis that everyone’s actually different, rather than everyone being the same; on the basis of getting to know them – their likes and their dislikes; their strengths and their weaknesses, even in just the little things. Some people don’t like to be rushed, so don’t rush them. Some people like to be punctual, so when you’re catching up with them, be on-time.

Imagine if you took the time to figure out what makes people tick: Your wife, your husband, your children, your brothers, your sisters, your work-colleagues. Imagine how differently you’d be able to interact with them if you knew just these two things about them: The one thing that annoys them most, and the one thing that they find the most pleasing. Do you think that would improve your relationships? Do you think it’d bring more peace and joy to your life? It’s not rocket science. God made everyone to be different, and it’s time to start treating them that way.