679: Make it Easier to Discuss Hard Things, with Jeff Wetzler

Coaching for Leaders

Jeff Wetzler: Ask

Jeff Wetzler is co-CEO of Transcend, a nationally recognized innovation organization, and an expert in learning and human potential. His experience spans 25+ years in business and education, as a management consultant to top corporations, a learning facilitator for leaders, and as Chief Learning Officer at Teach For America.

He is a member of the Aspen Global Leadership Network and is an Edmund Hillary Fellow. Jeff is the author of Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life*.

Leaders are not the only people who need to have difficult conversations in the workplace. Yet, leaders set the tone for how much people are willing and able to talk about hard things. In this episode, Jeff and I discuss how leaders can make it easier for those important conversations to happen.

Key Points

• In one study of managers, most people admitted to remaining silent with their bosses and nearly 75% said colleagues also felt uncomfortable speaking up.
• Meet people on their own turf. Others are more likely to speak up if they are in a setting that’s more comfortable for them.
• Leaders should consider shifting timing and/or medium to one that’s of the preference for the person who doesn’t have power.
• Explain why you’re asking about a topic and your intention for a conversation at the start. Providing context prevents people from having to guess at your agenda.
• Set a mutual agenda for a conversation by asking a question like, “In addition to this, what else should be part of our conversation today?”
• Establish a tone for open communication by radiating resilience. Words like these might help: “If I were in your shoes, I might be feeling frustrated or even resentful. If that’s how you’re feeling, I would understand completely. Please don’t hold back.”

Resources Mentioned

• Ask: Tap Into the Hidden Wisdom of People Around You for Unexpected Breakthroughs in Leadership and Life* by Jeff Wetzler

Interview Notes

Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required).

Related Episodes

• How to Ask Better Questions, with David Marquet (episode 454)
• The Way Out of Major Conflict, with Amanda Ripley (episode 529)
• How to Grow From Your Errors, with Amy Edmondson (episode 663)

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