The Water Cooler (Fast) - Health and Safety (Series 003, Episode 008)

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The Water Cooler (Fast)

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post.

They may look like busy professionals, but the staff at Colourful Solutions Ltd (Colsol), aren’t always as serious or hardworking as they appear, and we find out what mischief they’ve been up to as they talk around the water cooler.

Click above to listen. You can get the mp3. here.

Episode 8 - Health and Safety (Fast)

Too fast? Try the slower version in the previous post.

Featuring the vocal talents of Sophie Iafrate (Susan). (Free sound effects courtesy of 'Soundjay.com'),

Susan: Good morning Keith. Have you seen the new health and safety rules have been sent to everyone? I think we have to sign something to say we have read then and promise to abide by them. It all seems a bit unnecessary.

Keith: I did see them. In fact, I have already filed them for future reference.

Susan: Really? I thought you were going to complain like you usually do! And as for filing – I didn’t think you even had a filing system in place… wait a second. Keith, you haven’t filed your document; you’ve put it in the waste paper bin.

Keith: Exactly, appropriate filing is absolutely essential.

Susan: Well, even if it is a bit over the top, I do think you ought to at least take a look at the updated requirements Keith.

Keith: [dramatic sighing] OK, but I can’t see what it will say that I don’t already know. Health and Safety is really just common sense.

Later…

Susan: [entering room] Ahh! Why are there hazard signs all around my desk? Keith, do you have anything to do with this? Why are you wearing a helmet?

Keith: Well Susan, I followed your advice and read the Health and Safety document. It was eye-opening. Are you aware of the number of dangers present in your work area?

Susan: I might have known you would take this too literally.

Janet: Hello team. I am afraid that we need to discuss the new risk assessments we have to consider. What has happened to your desk Susan?

Keith: Ah, that was me Janet. I am afraid that Susan’s desk constituted a major risk according to these new rules.

Janet: Really? Which things have you highlighted? Hmm, a personal photo frame with glass. Yes, I suppose that is a risk, it might be best if you took that home Susan. And a coffee cup without a lid could be very dangerous if it had boiling water in it. Maybe you could change to a cup with a lid.

Keith: Or you could only drink chilled drinks. No ice though; that is a choking hazard.

Janet: What else? The chair too? Yes, I can see that now. Whilst this might be a very comfortable chair, I don’t imagine it is the best one for at a desk. We will have to swap it for an upright one.

Keith: Chairs without cushions are recommended in this case.

Susan: Honestly, this is just Keith being silly.

Janet: It might appear that way Susan, but we really can’t be too careful these days.

Keith: ha ha ha, sorry, a bit of a cough there.

Janet: Do you know what Keith? We need to recruit some more Health and Safety officers now, and I must admit that I didn’t even consider you before. It means doing more administrative chores and there are monthly meetings to attend and I didn’t think it would interest you. However, you are clearly passionate about Health and Safety, so I will put your name forward with strong recommendations. Plus, I will leave you in charge of the risk assessments. I am sure you will enjoy doing this far more than Susan.

Keith: But…

Susan: Congratulations Keith. You know what they say: if that cap fits, wear it.