S3 Ep5: Gretchen Rubin On The Four Tendencies Framework and Reimagining Expectations with Yourself and Others

human2human with Stacy Ike

This week’s episode of human2human with Stacy Ike features Gretchen Rubin, creator of the Happier App and a best-selling author of The Happiness Project, Better than Before and Inner Calm. She is also the creator and host of The Happier with Gretchen Rubin podcast. Gretchen and Stacy talk about the various characteristics of the four tendencies, the misconception of happiness, and unraveling the knot between expectations in relationships and your internal happiness.
Show Notes | Key takeaways:

• 00:00 - Intro
• 01:10 - Song of the week
• 01:14 - Book of the week
• 01:20 - Reflection Question - How have expectations influenced your communication style and your relationship with others and yourself?
• 02:27 - Gretchen shares the background of The Four Tendencies (visit gretchenrubin.com to take your very own tendency quiz).
• 06:16 - Stacy dives into her own tendencies.
• 08:15 - Can you have more than one tendency?
• 12:15 - Does your upbringing intertwine with your tendencies?
• 15:20 - Breaking down tendencies within friendships.
• 21:00 - How to be less rigid in the expectations of yourself and others.
• 23: 35 - “Just because something works for me doesn’t mean it works for you.” - Gretchen Rubin
• 25:11 - Understanding another person’s tendencies can help you both thrive.
• 26:30 - How do we learn to accept and explore that we don’t fit within one tendency?
• 30:30 - What do you think the biggest misconception of happiness is?
• 34:01 - ”No tool fits every hand” - Gretchen on how meditation is not helpful to her.
• 36:02 - Have you experienced depression after reaching a goal?
• 38:00 - Visit Gretchen’s app, Happier App
• 32:28 - What is the last thing that you learned about yourself through a relationship?
• 43:45 - “It’s not healthy to be too rigid.” - Gretchen Rubin
• 45:20 - What are some things that you’re learning from your daughters while you’re raising them and learning about yourself?
• 47:39 - How to rethink putting expectations of happiness on other people versus ourselves?
• 48:00 - Gretchen talks about no one else being able to make you happy
• 48:47 - What is the last thing you forgave yourself for the first time?
• 50:46 Honest Gems segment
  • What is something they really don’t tell us about happiness?
  • What is something they really don’t tell us about putting yourself first?
  • What is something they really don’t tell us about asking for help?
• 52:24 - What are responsibility shifting questions and do they show up in communication styles?

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CREDITS:
Executive Producer: Stacy Ike
Producer: Paris McCoy
Associate Producer: Emma Jackson
Audio Engineer: Brian Shaffer
Theme Music: Pieces by “After The Fall"
Music released by: Chill Out Records

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