Anger Stories, Negative Emotions, and Rattlesnakes

Nathan's School of Thought

Our memories are built on stories. Unfortunately, some of our stories are "anger stories," and in them is a very unhealthy share of negative emotion.
If you were unfairly treated by someone else, or bullied or abused--- if they did things that made you angry, if you felt ignored or oppressed in some way, and you tell that story and the anger is present in the story, guess what it does to the person who offended you? Nothing. It doesn't make them "un-offend" you. If they are still living, it's unlikely to make them run to you and say, "Hey, I just had a feeling I should apologize for bullying you in second grade. By the way, I don't remember who you are anymore, and I live in another state." If they're not living, you certainly can't change anything about their current state. You can't go back and say, "You need to make this 'un-happen.'. You made me really angry. You made me really sad. You made me feel unloved, rejected, ignored, mistreated"--- fill in the blanks.
Harboring and telling "anger stories" is like reaching into a bag full of rattlesnakes. All of the poison gets injected into you as you retell the story. You replenish the poison, and you put the snake back in the bag--- this time a little fatter and a little more poisonous than it was the last time, and round and round and round it goes.
I'll help you change the stories.
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