Beyond 'Sorry': How to Apologize and Mean It 6 | 22

Radical Candor: Communication at Work

Making amends and fostering better communication
Kim, Jason, and Amy dive into the complexities of apologies, focusing on the difference between genuine regret and false apologies. Through role-play and insightful analysis, they explore common pitfalls such as deflecting blame, making excuses, and failing to acknowledge the impact of one’s actions. They emphasize the importance of sincere apologies and provide actionable tips for making amends and fostering better communication in the workplace. Tune in to learn how to transform “I’m sorry” from hollow words into meaningful actions.
Get all of the show notes at RadicalCandor.com/podcast.
Episode Links:

• Fake Apologies Are on the Rise | The Atlantic
• How to Apologize Like You Mean It | The New York Times
• The Power of Apologies | Harvard University
• The Art of a Heartfelt Apology | Harvard University
• 5 Ways to Recognize and Respond to an Insincere Apology | PsychCentral
• The Narcissist's Prayer | The Life Doctor
• On Repentance and Repair | Danya Ruttenberg
• How To Encourage Feedback Between Others In The Workplace | Radical Candor
• Fried Green Tomatoes Movie Clip: Parking Lot Rage | YouTube

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Chapters:
(00:00:00) Introduction
Kim, Jason, and Amy introduce the episode on the importance of knowing how to apologize and explore false apologies.

(00:01:21) Role Play: "Sorry, Not Sorry" Sam vs. Patient Pam
A role play exercise to highlight common false apologies.

(00:04:28) Breakdown of False Apologies
The hosts analyze the role play, explaining why statements like "I'm an asshole" and "I was just kidding" are problematic.

(00:11:13) The Power of Humor and Apology
The role of humor in apologies, the impact of power dynamics, and why humor should never "kick down."

(00:13:13) The Narcissist's Prayer
Introduction to the Narcissist's Prayer, a pattern of defensive behavior.

(00:14:52) Structuring a Genuine Apology
Analysis of what constitutes a meaningful and effective apology, and insights on making amends and acknowledging mistakes.

(00:19:39) The Five A's of Apologizing
The five A's of a sincere apology based on Maimonides' principles.

(00:28:38) Apology as an Ongoing Process
The need for ongoing change after an apology and the challenges of altering long-standing habits.

(00:30:16) A Powerful Example of Apology
A poignant example of a sincere apology from a troll to Lindy West, highlighting the components of a good apology.

(00:33:06) Radical Candor Tips
Tips for a thoughtful apology process, emphasizing the importance of sincerity and accountability.

(00:34:54) Conclusion