009: Grief, Family Meetings and Dating Rules with Pascale Brady
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On this episode of Single Mom Stories, Kelly chats with Pascale Brady, a single mother, widow, and coach. After moving to the US at the age of 26, she married a man, only to lose him to illness a few years later. While becoming a single mother and losing her husband was remarkably difficult, she finds it important to acknowledge the struggles of children of divorced or single parents. Too often, adults let their issues get in the way of parenting, and that’s why, when she started dating again, she felt it important to take baby steps. Balancing a relationship with children is no small feat, so taking things slowly and keeping communication lines open are paramount.
Pascale prides herself on her close relationship with her kids, and she owes much of this success to her weekly family meetings. Every Sunday, they meet to discuss the upcoming week and any difficulties they may be going through. She notes that it’s been a tool to help empower her children and provide them with some semblance of autonomy and control. As she and Kelly draw this episode to a close, she attributes much of her successful parenting to her work as a coach, and how, if she’s learned anything from her career and her experience as a mom, it’s the value of self-care. After all, how can you be a good parent to someone else when you can’t properly take care of yourself.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- Grieving the loss of her husband as a single mom
- Moving to the US at 26
- Struggles for children of divorce/single parent
- When adulting gets in the way of parenting
- Balancing relationships with children
- The importance of baby steps
- Pascale’s wonderful relationship with her children
- Family meetings
- Empowering your children
- Brady’s work with PEP
- The value in self-care
Quotes:
“Of course, after that, I fell back in the hole, you know, many times, but it gave me hope again; it gave me hope that there could be a place that was no longer so dark all the time.”
“There are people who are single parents, not by definition, but by circumstance, right? They're in relationships, but they're really doing it all by themselves.”
“We need to continue living our adult lives. I mean, that's the way I felt. I needed to continue living my life. So finding that middle ground where you live your adult life, honor yourself, find joy and happiness again, and you also respect your kids and their needs and their wants.”
“So my recommendation is just really take your time and leave the kids out of it as long as you can.”
“When the going gets tough, and it gets tough, even for intact families that don't have single parenting issues, that's the one thing that's such an important job, right? We're raising the human beings of tomorrow.”
“It's always the same stuff, but you need to be better at it when you're facing really difficult circumstances.”
“We cannot be parents, let alone good parents, if we are not doing what brings us joy, doing what makes us strong, doing what makes us healthy, mentally and physically.”
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