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003: Khadijah Tishan on Compassion and Forgiving Yourself
Manage episode 323681273 series 3325031
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Khadijah Tishan, author, speaker, licensed therapist, founder of Real Healing Center, and single mom joins me on the podcast this week. In her role as a REAL Life Strategist, Khadijah offers support, strategies and tools to assist people experiencing overwhelm, anxiety, and burnout. Today, she joins me to talk about her life journey and the important role that compassion plays in it.
Khadijah begins our conversation by sharing her experience as a single mom fresh out of college. While she notes that the expectations for what a traditional family should look like is changing, she found it difficult to stop comparing herself to other mothers in relationships and how she thought that would be. As a single mom going through grad school and eventually working two jobs, Khadijah had to learn the importance of compassion and acceptance, especially when her son’s father didn’t seem to pull the same weight. We also discuss how compassion for others doesn’t need to supersede the compassion we have for ourselves, and how, as single moms, it’s easy to feel inadequate to those around us. Khadijah mentions she even felt guilty when comparing herself to other moms, wishing that she could have given her son more. Khadijah and I end this episode on a positive note as she discusses her present contentment and gratitude in the 20 years since having her son.
The Finer Details of This Episode:
- How traditional family tropes are changing
- Getting her start in clinical social work
- Frustration regarding other parent’s parenting style
- The importance of compassion and acceptance
- Feelings of inadequacy as a mother
- Contentment in the present
Quotes:
“Having a baby like that helped me to even do clinical social work, and really understand all of the different dynamics. “
“I think that the worst thing that people say that you hear on social media all the time is like, there's someone giving advice about a relationship and someone’s comeback is, ‘Well, that's why you're still single.’ They think that's actually a jab at the person who's giving maybe even solid advice”
“I can't be a single mom without someone leaving, right? In some form or fashion, something had to end for me to even get a title. But we focus a lot of our energy on them.”
“You’ve got a job to do. You do your part. I do mine. The world is supposed to be about balance, not about me owning everything.”
“There's men out here today who grow up thinking that women are supposed to be some in some kind of shape or way emotionally responsible for them, or even financially responsible for them. Or they should do things to make them comfortable. And I don't want my son to learn that.”
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