How to have a Conscious Transformational Relationship

Soul Surgery with Nicky Clinch

Welcome to another episode of the Soul Surgery Podcast. I am so happy you are here. In this episode I speak about a three major blindspots that are rarely talked about that occur within relationships and if left unconscious, can create conflict and suffering where we really want to be creating more love.

Gaining awareness over these blind spots shifts how you see the ‘problems’ that show up for you in relationship. We cannot heal what we cannot see and so uncovering these blind spots opens up the possibility to heal and transform.

The first blind spot is our tendency to believe core life incidents from our childhood are in the past, all gone now and no longer get in our way. But actually our brains cannot distinguish between our past and our present. So we repeat experiences and patterns from the past around intimacy right here in our present.

The second blind spot is our experience of ourselves in adult relationships directly mirrors our original childhood experience and understanding of intimacy with our mothers. As adults, if we haven’t done the work on our past wounds and stories, the imprint of our childhood relationship with our mother can be living our lives.

The third blind spot is the relationship itself is its own entity. There are the two people plus the relationship itself, which is happening simultaneously. The relationship is evolving and moving in unity with how each person is reacting to the other person’s trigger within the relationship. Each partner cannot help but show up exactly how the other experiences intimacy.

As Eckhart Tolle says, the purpose of a relationship is not to make each other happy – it’s for spiritual transformation. If we are able to bring consciousness to our relationship and use it as a tool for our evolution and maturation, we will experience the greatest gift of love and intimacy.

Episode Highlights:

• How the mind and body reactivates in our adult relationships as if we are reliving moments from childhood.
  
• The consistent factor in any relationship is our own self. With honest self-analysis, we will see that we are each re-enacting our own childhood patterns and it’s not about the other person.
  
• How we carry with us our original experience of intimacy with our mothers into all our adult relationships.
  
• When we can bring insight and awareness into how we truly experience ourselves in a relationship, that’s when we’ll be able to dissolve and heal the unconscious patterns.
  
• When the initial cocktail of hormones fizzle out and the veil of the honeymoon phase is lifted, that’s when the opportunity for true intimacy begins.
  
• To heal the existing patterns and triggers within a relationship, both individuals have to bring awareness to the present moment to literally grow out of who we thought we were inside relationships. Once that happens, a new relationship can be built upon a new and stronger foundation.

Thank you so much for listening to this episode. I would love to hear if this episode has resonated with you. I would truly appreciate if you would leave a review so that we can share these messages of wholeness and healing with the world.

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