[8] How to Improve Your Everyday Conversations (5 Easy Steps)

Sunday Ain't Scary

Last week I made the argument on the podcast that the most important, granular thing in your life is the conversations you have with people every day. These conversations are indicative of your quality of life...

BUT, I realized I left out something important... HOW do you have better conversations?
5 Easy Ways to Improve Your Daily Conversations

1. Become aware of the patterns of conversation in your life (and change them). As Jim Rohn says, "You are the sum of the 5 people closest to you." When gaining awareness of how to change your life, you can do an honest assessment of your immediate environment. Questions to ask:
   • Who do you talk to on a consistent basis?
   • What do you talk to these people about?
   • What patterns do you notice that you'd like to change?
2. Reduce your complaining and encourage others to do the same. Victimhood is normalized and celebrated in today's society and it seems like more and more we feel the need to gain sympathy and significance by parading our hardships to others. While venting is a necessary human activity and emotions are valid -- complaining shouldn't be the norm of interaction. Dwelling on things by complaining about them only feeds them more energy and attention! Can you imagine if your interactions started with a positive statement rather than a complaint?
3. Ask better questions. Have better answers. Take, for example, the question, "how are you?" When someone asks you this question, instead of answering "good," actually give them a real, detailed answer. Most people will be surprised and taken aback when you actually answer this question authentically rather than by knee-jerk. In addition, instead of asking the question, "how are you?" you can ask better more meaningful questions! Think of:
   • "What's been the best part of your week?"
   • "What are you celebrating lately?"
   • "What are you working on that excites you?"
4. Avoid negative gossip about others. "Great Minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people." - Eleanor Roosevelt. While gossip is evolutionarily beneficial for our species, by talking shit about others, you'll always be at a karmic disadvantage.
5. Put energy into conversations with people that inspire you and make you better. Stop talking to people that bring you down with negative energy. This might require cutting people out of your life (yes I know that can be difficult!)

BONUS: For virtual conversations, instead of sending texts, send voice notes! Whatsapp, Instagram, iMessage, Facebook Messenger all have voice note functionality that helps you add non-verbal cues and tonality to your messages so even your "text" conversations can be better.

How are you going to change the conversations you have every day?
Links Mentioned

• Read my article on the Cultural Complaining Conundrum here.

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