#268 I’m Tired of Being a Lonely “Roommate With Benefits” For My Husband

The EXTRAORDINARY Family Life Podcast

If you’re feeling lonely in your marriage, like a roommate ‘with benefits’ instead of partners, best friends, and lovers, then you’ll want to listen to this episode!

We received this great question from one of our podcast listeners:

“I’ve been listening for a long time. Thank you for your podcasts, and for championing greatness in personal and family living. Because of your podcasts and recommended reading I’ve realized that my husband needs physical intimacy more than I do, and I’ve tried to step up and make sure that his needs are met. When he’s home, he’s not home - he’s on the computer playing games. When we are on a date, he’s not on the date - he’s looking at his phone. When we go on vacation together, he’s not with me - he’s on the iPad.

I’ve expressed my need for his attention, but I don’t feel heard. Habits are deeply rooted (on both sides) and we fall into our same patterns of interaction. I have become more autonomous (which he hasn’t liked because I’m less available). I’ve gone back to school (online), I go to the temple alone, I find my own projects to work on.

We recently went on trek (camping) where there was no cell phone or internet coverage. I had his undivided attention for one night before everyone else arrived, and it was wonderful - we talked like we did when we were dating and I didn’t feel like an afterthought.

You asked for a list of things that bother your listeners about their marriages. This is at the top of my list. I don’t want to be roommates with benefits (he gets sex, I am a financially well-kept woman). I want to be partners.”

Join Greg and Rachel as they explore the essential elements of a thriving marriage. They discuss the importance of identifying areas for improvement and making proactive changes rather than settling. The conversation touches on navigating feelings of being like roommates, leveraging technology responsibly for deeper connection, and the significance of emotional honesty and vulnerability.

Greg and Rachel emphasize the necessity of clear communication and mutual understanding in relationships. They provide practical advice on prioritizing each other's needs and desires, promoting a culture of openness and sincerity to strengthen marital bonds. Whether you're looking to enhance your partnership or address challenges, this episode offers valuable insights into fostering a resilient and fulfilling marriage.

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