TLP431: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life with Kwame Christian

The Leadership Podcast

Kwame Christian, CEO, number one negotiation podcast, two-time bestselling author, top booked negotiation keynote speaker shares his insights on negotiation emphasizing the shift from being a doer to an empowering leader.

Kwame discusses the importance of self-reliance in negotiations, advocating for vulnerability and honesty to build trust. He also highlights the need for preparation to avoid unethical decisions and the value of fostering a culture where difficult conversations are encouraged. Lastly, he stresses the importance of emotional intelligence, empathy, and adaptability in both personal and professional negotiations.

https://bit.ly/TLP-431

Key Takeaways

[04:59] Kwame discusses the challenges he faces as a leader and communicator in his business. He acknowledges that his previous challenges revolved around resilience, pain tolerance, and being a doer. Now, with a larger team, his focus has shifted to empowering his team and being more strategic.

[06:34] Kwame believes that effective negotiation requires self-reliance and emotional security. He emphasizes the importance of understanding one's own needs and desires, as well as being vulnerable and compassionate with oneself.

[12:08] He argues that people should be mindful of their biases and judgments, especially in virtual meetings. He suggests that turning on the camera can help avoid potential psychological pitfalls and create a more productive environment. He also emphasizes the importance of negotiating for the process, including the use of cameras, at the beginning of a meeting to ensure everyone is on the same page.

[18:25] He emphasizes that in today's toxic and polarized society, people are often reluctant to engage in conversations with opposing views due to fear of betraying their own side.

[25:12] Kwame notes that negative, extreme content thrives because media algorithms favor outrage, while positive stories flop. Although they don't have a solution, he suggests leaders focus on fostering constructive conversations within their own households and organizations, despite the divisive external environment.

[26:58] He explains that in difficult conversations, we often rely on egocentric persuasion focusing on what would convince us rather than empathetic persuasion, which considers the other person's perspective.

[30:34] Kwame explains that unethical behavior, like lying, often results from lack of preparation and fear in difficult conversations. To avoid this, he recommends preparing in advance, anticipating pressures and questions, so you can respond truthfully under stress.

[36:54] Closing quote: Remember, “I believe firmly that in making ethical decisions, man has the prerogative of true freedom of choice.” — Corliss Lamont

Quotable Quotes

“Trust is important.”

“Prepare for difficult conversations to avoid ethical dilemmas.”

“Take time to understand personal motives before engaging in sensitive discussions.”

“Communicate conversation goals effectively to the other party.”

"It's really important now more than ever for us to be very clear about what communication looks like within our organization, what respect looks like in our organization, and the fact that we encourage people to dissent and have constructive conversations."

"Empathetic persuasion focuses on the other person, shines the spotlight on them, and understands how they are seeing, thinking, and feeling about the situation."

"When you actually sit there and think about what’s the value of the conversation, you can recognize that a lot of these conversations are not strategically aligned with reality."

“I believe firmly that in making ethical decisions, man has the prerogative of true freedom of choice.” — Corliss Lamont

Resources Mentioned

• The Leadership Podcast | theleadershippodcast.com

• Sponsored by | www.darley.com

• Rafti Advisors. LLC | www.raftiadvisors.com

• Self-Reliant Leadership. LLC | selfreliantleadership.com

• Kwame Christian’s LinkedIn | www.linkedin.com/in/kwamechristian

• Kwame Christian’s Website | www.americannegotiationinstitute.com

• Kwame Christian’s Twitter | @KwameNegotiates