Episode 5. Publish and be Damned!

The Tuck Shop Murders

Episode 5. Publish And Be Damned

All is abuzz in the sleepy little hamlet of Nottlikely. Nigella is over the moon that her autobiography “Eat, Pray, Fillet” is to be published by Gaga Books. The news is tempered by Lily’s announcement that her children’s nature story “Eats Roots and Leaves” has been published as well. When Courtney arrives to breathlessly announce that “I Did it Her Way” is hot off the presses Nigella smells a rat. Seeking advice from the only sensible woman in the village, Nigella is taken aback when Hillary declares “My Husband is locked in the Cellar!” Not a title but an admission. She has locked “Bill” in the cellar – so he’s not really missing, “but is it wrong for a woman to dream?”

On her way to confront Lord Gaga, Nigella is waylaid by Plod who is selling copies of her audiobook “Undercover – Ohh the things I’ve seen” and can’t help noticing a long queue formed outside the Abbey.

Ultimately Lord Gaga admits he’s the Head of MI3- Ladies Auxilliary, the most effective intelligence agency in the world – which is why you’ve never heard of it.

Their modus operandi is codified women’s fiction, “which explains 50 Shades of Grey”. But what it doesn’t explain is that queue at the Abbey… and the whereabouts of Mother Theresa?
Featuring the "Vocal Stylations" of Emma Leonard, Jo Bryant, Sara Stone, Simon Van Der Stap, Sean Martindale and Gladys B************n as Lord Gaga.
Written by Mark Leonard
Produced by Geoff McGarvey and Mark Leonard
(Any similarities to persons, living, dead or disgraced is entirely accidental!)