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Diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder at age 36, Emma and her system share what they learn along the way about DID, dissociation, trauma, and mental health. Educational, supportive, inclusive, and inspiring, System Speak documents her healing journey through the best and worst of life in recovery through insights, conversations, and collaborations.
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There’s never a dull moment for hosts, Drew and Garden System, who are a couple that have both been diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder. While they are navigating their healing journey, they continue to manage full time careers, raise four teenagers and a house full of pets. Not only do they aim to speak to people who have lived experience with DID and their supporters, but also therapists and anyone who wants to learn more. The podcast talks about Dissociative Identity Disorder in ...
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Dissociative Identity Disorder

Alicia Haygood

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Life is like a puzzle. Each puzzle piece represents a stage of our life’s story. But what if your life puzzle starts with tragedy, complex trauma, and fear? These puzzle pieces can become misplaced or disorganized. Sometimes, this complex trauma is so tragic, that our mind removes these memories or sequesters them so deeply that a new identity is created to protect us from this tragedy. This is a story of just that. Debbie Klose survived decades of trauma and tragedy. The only thing protecti ...
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On the podcast, I delve into the world of multiple personalities. The condition is called Dissociative Identify Disorder (DID), and an estimated 1.5% of the people in the world have it. I’ll peer into the daily lives of those with DID to see how they cope with their other personalities (called alters). On occasion, I’ll speak with their loved ones—especially in cases where the person with DID refuses to seek help. Please join me for what I promise will be an interesting journey.
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We read and respond to listener emails. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Content on this w…
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Drew & Garden System have an honest talk about sex and intimacy and how it affects one's romantic relationship. They talk about how their different selves show up in the relationship, the challenges of engaging in sex, and strategies to manage the triggers that inevitably come up. This episode definitely contains TMI and colorful language and the t…
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Jules and I share about reclaiming Pride after our very hard year. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Cont…
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Jules and I share about learning to have very hard conversations. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Conte…
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Jules and I share about our hard year and learning to have hard conversations. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemsp…
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We explore how attachment wounds impact relationships. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Co…
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We get ourselves through a hard weekend. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Content on this …
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We talk with Jules about our avoidance experience in therapy. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content N…
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In this incredible interview episode, Drew & Garden System dive into the therapeutic relationship with Kelly Caniglia, a Somatically focused Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor in North Carolina, a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in FL, a Clinical supervisor in both states as well as Certified Clinical Trauma Professional. Kelly specializes …
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We talk with Jules about our avoidance experience in therapy. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content N…
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The piano music I have done for our office playlist. It is not holiday music. It is the story of the podcast over the last year, and it is your musical “gift” this year! We are so grateful for you(s)! 🌻 TTPD Into the Unknown Lavender Haze Wrecking Ball Trustfall Sweet Caroline Anti-Hero Barbie Girl Rolling in the Deep We Don't Talk About Bruno You …
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Jamie+ has a new book, You Lied to Me About God, that they want to talk about: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/760810/you-lied-to-me-about-god-by-jamie-marich-phd/ To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Content on this website and in the podcasts is assumed to be trauma and/or dissociative related due to t…
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We share an update about the new school year, and acknowledge some wins and the feeling like a fresh start with a new year. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To sub…
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Drew & Garden System have a candid conversation about relationships when one partner has dissociative identity disorder. Gianu System & Jonathan help provide hope through their personal stories as they share how they overcame challenges navigating their successful long-term relationship. Jenna (@gianusystem) and Jonathan (@splendid_supporter) were …
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We share a therapy update after the family visits. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Conten…
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You need to know about it. 99 cents. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Content on this webs…
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We wrestle with acceptance of circumstances in our lives, only to find out it requires accepting ourself/ves. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email t…
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We share something we wrote about learning to notice Littles. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content N…
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We do not discuss parties or sides or anything explicit about election results. We share our experience of talking to the children this morning, and our efforts at responding to them and ourselves, while validating trauma histories. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and …
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True to this season's theme, Drew & Garden System have an intimate conversation with another couple of multiples, LS & Melanie Scarboro, about relationships and dissociative identity disorder. Both LS and Melanie live with DID and they share personal stories of how they navigate the daily challenges that having DID brings to maintaining an intimate…
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We talk about processing in therapy, little Littles, and why (it feels like) shiny happy God can’t be not-real. (I do not say God isn’t real, but hear a quote that references trauma in the connection between spiritual and earthly parents). NPR Interview referenced HERE. The author interviewed is Shalom Auslander. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We…
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Nathan and I talk with the children about "upregulating" and "downregulating" in an attachment context, as found in the book "Secure Relating". You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the gro…
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Nathan and I talk with the children about "upregulating" and "downregulating" in an attachment context, as found in the book "Secure Relating". You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the gro…
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Jules and I talk with symposium attendees about our shared experiences. Social Media referenced: Kit - @squidont on TikTok Megs - @brushstrokes_imagination on Instagram or here on YouTube https://www.instagram.com/brushstrokes_imagination?igsh=MTNmNHg2MjYyaWc5NQ== https://youtube.com/@its_not_our_imagination?si=iy_W8aDkX_9kQCIz https://www.instagra…
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Drew & Garden System, a couple both living with dissociative identity disorder, share personal, intimate stories about their relationship including the many benefits and the unique challenges that arise when two multiples are in a relationship with each other. They also cover important tools, such as system mapping, emotional regulation & co-regula…
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Jules and I talk the night before the Symposium, including sharing an update on Jules caring for her hips. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to t…
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Jules and I connect with our friend to discuss the movie Inside Out 2. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com …
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We run some errands, including going to the election office to be sure we are registered to vote. REGISTER TO VOTE HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit…
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Jules and I respond to the introduction of the book Women Who Run with the Wolves. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@syst…
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Drew & Garden System, a married couple who both have Dissociative Identity Disorder, welcome listeners to Season 3 which focuses on relationships and DID. Many people with Dissociative Identity Disorder were unable to form a secure attachment to a caregiver when they were a child, often due to trauma, neglect or abuse. Drew & Garden System, share p…
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Jules and I respond to the introduction of the book Women Who Run with the Wolves. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@syst…
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Jules and I respond to the introduction of the book Women Who Run with the Wolves. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@syst…
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Jules and I each pick a middle for mapping. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Content on th…
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We finish our “interview” conversation with Jules, each of us sharing more about our families. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: …
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We continue our visit with Jules. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Content on this website…
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We finish our road trip with Jules. Apologies for sound issues as we changed roads. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@sys…
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We continue our road trip with Jules. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Content on this web…
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We go on a road trip with Jules! You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Content Note: Content on this website …
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We share some handouts we found that breakdown patterns and examples of both codependency and recovery from it. Links referenced: Codependency Checklist Patterns of Recovery You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but onl…
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We share more about what we learned from the co-dependency book. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Conten…
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In this season 2 finale, Drew & Garden System share personal stories of experiencing shame, denial of being a multiple, and coming to acceptance of having dissociative identity disorder. Please visit https://acoupleofmultiples.com to sign up for our mailing list where you can learn more about our online community called Hearts Multiplied, for those…
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We share an update from therapy, in which we learn to honor little protectors instead of being shamed because of them. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit a…
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We share about finding the book “Co-Dependent No More” by Melody Beattie. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.c…
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Drew & Garden System share personal stories of how they brought all of their selves together to aid in the ability to switch on purpose and access all of the strengths and skills that each self holds. They talk about co-consciousness and ways that they practiced this skill amongst their selves. Please visit https://acoupleofmultiples.com to sign up…
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We share that the divorce is final and our legal name is settled. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to the podcast: podcast@systemspeak.com Conte…
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We recap a webinar with Jules. (This was recorded in December 2023 before our new microphones, apologies.) You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only available by joining the groups. Join us! To submit an email to t…
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Drew & Garden System share personal stories of how they resolved internal conflicts, using a concept called trust by proxy, how they determined what was best for the whole system, how to identify and use the strengths of each self within the system, and some of the ways to keep up with all the daily little things when you live with Dissociative Ide…
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We recap a webinar with Jules. (This was recorded in December 2023 before our new microphones, apologies.) Link to the Panda video about the window of tolerance is HERE. You can JOIN THE COMMUNITY HERE. We have peer support check-in groups, an art group, a lego group, movie groups, and social events. Additional zoom groups are optional, but only av…
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We tell about a mess we got ourselves into, how it was super activating for Littles, and also how we navigated adulting while struggling, even with hard memories and big feelings. Links to articles about the stacked cribs: https://iamthegreatunwashed.com/2014/02/24/baby-cages/ https://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/10fb4hq/cages_in_the_nursery_of_a…
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