Responsive Desire

The Marriage Life Coach Podcast

Today, I’m excited to take you on a little journey through a concept that can change the way you think about motivation, intimacy, and even the everyday tasks we all have a love-hate relationship with. We’re talking about responsive desire.

You might have heard the term in the context of intimacy and relationships, but I think that responsive desire is so much more than that—it’s a way of understanding how we relate to everything from our goals to our daily routines. And here’s the good news: just because you don’t feel motivated at the start doesn’t mean you won’t enjoy it once you get going!

In this episode, we’re unpacking responsive desire and how it differs from spontaneous desire, which is often portrayed as the “norm” in our culture (thanks, TV and movies!). Real life is much more complex, and understanding this difference can be a game-changer—not just for your relationship, but for how you approach many areas of your life.

So, join me as we dive deep into why it’s perfectly okay to have a different kind of motivation that needs a little warm-up. Whether it’s starting a new habit, getting to the gym, or feeling connected in your relationship, responsive desire can show up in so many areas of life—and it’s completely normal.

You’ll learn:

• Why tuning into responsive desire can help you achieve goals without waiting for the ‘right’ motivation

• Small shifts that make tasks feel easier and more enjoyable

• How understanding responsive desire can transform your approach to motivation and intimacy

• Why accepting responsive desire can lead to a more compassionate and flexible outlook on your goals and relationships

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Episode 75: Sex, Stress & Gratitude with Emily Nagoski

• Episode 83: Sex Funnels

• The Questions for Couples Journal

• The Marriage Mindset Makeover