How to Stop Twins From Biting Each Other

Dad's Guide to Twins

Here is a question from Justin. He says he has 20-month-old boy/girl twins, and he says the biggest issue right now is biting. “Do you have any advice on how to keep them from biting each other? That would be great.”

Biting is a challenge with any kid, of course. But particularly twins because they’re usually playing together, or spending time together and it’s much easier for them to want to reach out and bite each other.

When our twins would bite each other, we would:

1. stop the behavior
2. verbally explain that biting was not acceptable
3. redirect the offending twin into another activity

This worked okay for us as long as we were consistent in our enforcement.

Testing Limits

Of course your twins are going to start to look for the limits of your discipline, and they’ll start to challenge that. But if you are consistent in the actions that you take as a parent to counteract their bad behavior they’ll start to seek attention in other ways.

Find the Why

Try to identify why your twins are biting in the first place.

Are they teething? Do they want attention? Is it triggered by something that’s happening in your home or the actions of others?

Then try to address the root cause instead of just the symptom of biting.

When your child is biting the other child, you definitely have to stop their behavior, because it’s not acceptable and can clearly cause distress for the other child.

Communication

Encourage your twins to use their words to express what they want, if they want to share, need some help, or if someone is doing something that doesn’t make them happy.

With very young twins, they may not have words because they can’t talk yet. We taught our kids basic baby signs so they could express themselves a little bit. And that helped us communicate with them much earlier than we would have otherwise.

Teach them some basic baby signs so they can express when they want something, when they want more of something, or when they’re done with something. It’s going to help mitigate frustrations that they have in communicating and deter biting as well.

Role-Playing

Once the biting incident has stopped and during a calmer time, you can help prepare your twins to avoid trouble next time.

Use role-playing to demonstrate how to handle conflicts without biting. This can help twins practice appropriate reactions in a controlled environment.

Use puppets to act out scenarios where one puppet bites and the other responds appropriately. This can be a fun and engaging way to teach lessons to your young twins.

Calm Down Spaces

Create a calm-down area where each twin can go to relax when they feel overwhelmed. This space can include calming items like stuffed animals, books, or sensory toys.

Instead of time-outs, some parents use time-ins where they stay with the child in the calm-down space to help them process their emotions.

Empathy Building

Regularly talk to your twins about their feelings and the impact of their actions on others. Helping them understand how biting hurts their sibling can build empathy.

Use emotion charts to help your twins identify and communicate their feelings. This visual tool can be particularly helpful for young children.

Physical Outlets

Ensure your twins have plenty of physical activities to release their energy. Activities like outdoor play, dancing, or sports can reduce frustration and aggression.

If biting is related to teething, provide appropriate teething toys to satisfy their need to bite.

Routine and Structure

Maintain a consistent daily routine to provide your twins with a sense of security and predictability. This can reduce stress and biting incidents.

Incorporate regular breaks and quiet times throughout the day to prevent overstimulation, which can lead to biting.

Parental Modeling

Model calm and controlled behavior during conflicts. Show your twins how to handle disagreements peacefully. They are always watching how you interact with your partner, other children, and friends.

Stopping the Biting for Good

You can create a supportive and effective plan to address this challenging issue in your home.

Remember, every child is different, and it may take time to find the right combination of techniques that work for your family.

Keep observing, adjusting, and most importantly, stay positive and supportive towards your twins as they learn and grow.

Picture by Donnie Ray Jones

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