The Real Definition Behind Self-Esteem and Living a Criticism-Proof Life
Manage episode 403582048 series 2838668
Self-esteem, self-confidence, and self-acceptance can show up very uniquely and personally for different types of people, which can make it slightly difficult to define. Self-esteem is how we see ourselves. Our self-esteem can often be clouded by a wide variety of external measurements like societal pressures, unrealistic benchmarks, criticisms, and internal self-doubt. Self-confidence is how we see our ability to do things. Self-confidence can get clouded by how we compare ourselves to other people and we might try to measure ourselves against an unrealistic standard.
This is where self-acceptance becomes so important. This is the act of being able to love all parts of yourself, despite what you might perceive as ‘flaws’ or not fitting into an abstract ideal. Self-esteem and self-confidence, if these two things are blocked, it makes it very difficult for us to see ourselves through a realistic lens and it also blocks our path towards radical self-acceptance. It can sometimes feel like a chicken vs. egg situation. We need to practice self-acceptance to find internal peace, but our internal critic doesn’t believe in it. Thus, the cycle continues.
What are we to do? It is true that people in your life will have opinions, they will have judgments and criticisms. Some people might have good intentions and try to use their judgments to help you, but it might have the opposite effect instead and make you feel insecure. If we believe their negative opinions as true, then we will remain stuck in an unhealthy verbal cycle.
The way out of these bad patterns and cycles is through the practice of self-compassion, self-acceptance, and a bit of healthy judgment by asking ‘Is this true?’ questions. There are three pillars of self-compassion: kindness over judgment, common humanity, and mindfulness. This will help you process some of the negative external stimuli you might be running into and put you on a better path forward toward healing and living a criticism-proof life.
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