Being the victim

The Ten Thousand Things

We explore the experience of identifying as victim, through personal stories and theory, and of course the potential of spirituality and psychotherapy in helping move through, and renounce identities over time.

We discuss the dangers of adhering to a single identity label, and the benefit of taking responsibility for our own actions and healing, while being aware that we are also inescapably interconnected with others.

Identities such as Victim are necessary and useful, and can arise naturally from a life event such as an accident, an assault, or injustice, but also from ordinary childhood experiences, a personal identity, or a relationship dynamic. So we may come to identify as victim. This is normal, but over time our sense of self shifts greatly and we move through many identifications. to enable us to life more fully.

We've all been a victim, we all suffer, we all deserve comfort and help, and it's also true that we sometimes cling too long to a sense of being The Victim. We are usually right about that victimhood in some way, even with people who fraudulently claim victim status. While fraudulent victims provoke understandable outrage, as we see in the extraordinary case of Belle Gibson, such people are probably suffering in any case, and their fraud itself is an indicator that something is wrong in their lives.

Sam finds a related quote about Lacan's formulation of fantasy, the Other, the alienation of the subject, and restoring the dignity of the subject by letting go of fantasy. Marx and Zizek get a mention.

And we get into how spirituality and therapy both invite a deconstruction of ego and fantasies. The conversation concludes with the benefit of adopting broader, more interdependent perspectives on life.

Image courtesy: Craig https://www.instagram.com/p/CrFzDLgK7Mw/

Creators & Guests

• Ali Catramados - Host
• Joe Loh - Host
• Sam Ellis - Host

• (00:00) - Being the victim
• (00:46) - Identity Politics and Neurodivergence
• (02:14) - The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle's book and a quote
• (02:23) - Eckhart Tolle's Influence and Impact
• (04:46) - Interpreting Eckhart Tolle's Quote
• (05:40) - Victimhood and Identity
• (21:54) - Responsibility and Victimhood
• (27:46) - The Ego and Therapy: A Complex Relationship
• (28:05) - The Role of Victim Mentality in Therapy
• (29:12) - The Struggle of Admitting Victimhood
• (30:19) - The Process of Analyzing and Accepting Trauma
• (31:33) - The Importance of Self-Responsibility in Therapy
• (31:51) - The Impact of Trauma on Identity
• (36:04) - The Role of Fantasy in Therapy
• (45:41) - The Paradox of Individuality and Interdependence
• (47:55) - Concluding Thoughts: The Illusion of the Separate Self