257: Non-monogamy and sex addiction with Ari Lewis

Better Sex

In this episode of the Better Sex Podcast, host Jessa Zimmerman welcomes Ari Lewis to discuss the often conflated topics of consensual non-monogamy and compulsive sexual behavior. They delve into the misconceptions and stereotypes surrounding consensual non-monogamy, such as its conflation with sexual addiction and the perceived elevated risk of STIs. Ari explains the important distinctions between consensual non-monogamy and compulsive sexual behavior, highlighting key factors like informed consent, honoring values, mutual respect, and mutual benefit. The conversation also touches on coercive non-monogamy and the role of shame in driving compulsive sexual behavior, concluding with a proposed model for understanding and treating such behaviors.

00:00 Introduction to Better Sex Podcast

00:49 Exploring Consensual Non-Monogamy with Ari Lewis

01:34 Distinguishing Non-Monogamy from Compulsive Sexual Behavior

01:52 Ari Lewis on Personal Journey and Professional Insights

11:07 Common Misconceptions and Stereotypes

16:54 Coercive Non-Monogamy and Its Implications

26:05 Understanding and Treating Compulsive Sexual Behavior

32:31 Conclusion and Contact Information

Want to work with Jessa? https://www.intimacywithease.com

Bio:

Ari Lewis, M.A.P.P., M.A., Ed.M., LMHC, is a licensed psychotherapist in NYC; an associate at the Sexuality, Attachment, and Trauma Project; and an adjunct professor of social work at Touro University. He earned a Master of Applied Positive Psychology (M.A.P.P.) studying positive sexuality at the University of Pennsylvania, and he earned two master's degrees in mental health counseling at Columbia University, where he also earned an Advanced Certificate in Sexuality, Women, and Gender focused on consensual non-monogamy. Ari has a chapter on treating compulsive sexual behavior coming out in the Routledge Handbook of Positive Sexuality, and his essay on distinguishing consensual non-monogamy from compulsive sexual behavior will be featured as part of the 2nd edition to Kathy Labriola's book, Love in Abundance. Ari has trained for over three years on working with compulsive sexual behavior under Dr. Michael M. Crocker, DSW, founder of the Sexuality, Attachment, and Trauma Project in New York City.

Want to learn more about my sponsored charity? Charity: Water is committed to providing clean water to every human on the planet, 100% of your contribution will be used directly for water projects around the globe. You can learn more at https://www.bettersexpodcast.com/water.

More info and resources:

Secret Podcast for the Higher Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/hdppodcast

Secret Podcast for the Lower Desire Partner: https://www.intimacywithease.com/ldppodcast

Special Collections of the podcast:

Increasing Desire Episodes

Eroticism and Excitement Episodes

My Favorite Authors

How Big a Problem is Your Sex Life? Quiz – https://www.sexlifequiz.com

The Course – https://www.intimacywithease.com

The Book – https://www.sexwithoutstress.com

Podcast Website – https://www.intimacywithease.com

Access the Free webinar: How to make sex easy and fun for both of you: https://intimacywithease.com/masterclass