#076 - Dark side of dating apps, heartbreak, raw attachment style truths - w/ Rebecca Archer

Beyond the Self with Africa Brooke

I have my thoughts about what it means to love and be loved in the modern world. What's the real cost of swiping right? Is there truth to attachment styles or has it become a (Western) collective obsession? Is the dating scene really as demotivating and disturbing as people say?
In this special episode, I'm joined by someone I've wanted to speak to for a while; the ever-insightful Rebecca Archer. Rebecca, a poet whose words bleed raw emotion, shares her battlefield stories from the front lines of dating apps. She talks about the art of setting boundaries, the seismic shifts caused by heartbreak, and how she channels her experiences into her poetry.
Listen in and hear how we don't shy away from the gritty realities of "situation ships" and the relentless pursuit of a connection that's not just skin deep.
RESOURCES MENTIONED:
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Rebecca Archer (Instagram @wandering_in_heels), recently published her first poetry book, Heartbreak, which explores themes in modern day dating. The book documents a decade of being single and is themed around the seven deadly sins of the human heart, such as lust and envy.
Taking some artistic licence, Rebecca repositioned the sin of “pride” in a positive way in the final chapter of the book, interpreting it as the “dignity” she eventually found. By exploring negative romantic experiences and dysfunctional relationship-forming patterns, Rebecca has been able to approach the search for love with more accountability and self-respect.
Rebecca says, " I do hope that by candidly sharing my experiences of modern dating, I will help others feel less lost and alone. I firmly believe that we attract the love we believe we deserve. For years, I thought I only deserved “scraps”, and so that is what I settled for. Once I learnt to stop being turned on by romantic ambiguity, and started to see stability and security as sexy, everything changed. Never forget: you are worthy of love."
You can follow Rebecca Archer on Instagram: @wandering_in_heels
Heartbreak is available to buy now at: wordsbyrebeccaarcher.com
Heartbreak was written by Rebecca Archer. Designed and published by Couper Street Books. Edited by Susannah Saary. Hand-finished in London by Book Works UK.
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You can also connect with me directly over on Instagram, I'd love to continue the conversation with you - @africabrooke or you can email me at [e-mail] with the subject line 'Beyond the Self'. I can't wait to hear from you!⁣⁣⁣⁣
PLEASE NOTE: I do not give advice in DM's, emails, or comments, but I'd love to hear your feedback and know what your lightbulb moments or breakthroughs were. It also lights me up when you tag me in the screenshots of you listening, do continue!