Ep. 96: Kelley Lynn - Finding Love and Comedy After Loss

Dear Life with Christina Rasmussen

In today’s episode, I’m very happy to introduce you to Kelley Lynn. She is an actor, comedian, TEDx speaker, grief coach, and author of the book "My Husband Is Not a Rainbow: the brutally awful, hilarious truth about life, love, grief, and loss." Since the sudden death of her husband Don in 2011, it has been Kelley's mission to help change the conversations we have about grief and loss, and to help others navigate through life after loss with her comedy, speaking engagements, and book.

Kelley is so inspiring in the way she lives her life. She has brought all of herself into her re-entry, her life post loss. I’ve been following Kelley online for years and one thing that has always struck me is that she didn’t shut down the comedic, creative, and social parts of herself after Don died. She leaned into all of it, with the grief too, and took everyone along for the ride. I believe that Kelley is truly an example of how life is meant to be lived after loss. You show up with all that you have, even if it’s painful.

We speak about the early days after Don died, and how even that very night, she felt compelled to write and to share what she calls the brutally awful, hilarious truth about grief, loss and love. She shares some of the stories that while painful, are also funny that many of us who have experienced loss can relate to, from the awkward things people say to you, to having to cancel bills and accounts, to dating again after loss.

Her advice for plug-ins (the term that I use in the Life Reentry Model for the moments we exit the Waiting Room and begin to re-enter our new life) gave me chills - “Do what hurts the least.” I couldn’t agree more. She shares some of the ways she plugged into life in the early days, and continues to plug-in now.

“Do what hurts the least.” ~ Kelley Lynn

We speak about the idea that tragedy and comedy are two sides of the same coin, and how laughter is just as important as crying when we are grieving and going through something hard.

Kelley also shares openly and honestly about what it was like to start dating again, how at first she never thought she would be ready, and how she eventually met her husband Nick. We talk about what it’s like to have “two husbands”, and what works for her to hold love for both Don and Nick.

My hope is that this episode encourages you to find your voice, and your own unique way to plug-in to your new life after loss. I hope that it offers inspiration if you are thinking about dating again and you’re not sure. As Kelley Lynn said when I asked her what one thing she wants my listeners to remember about life after loss, “Your life after loss is not over, it’s just beginning. The life that you had, the one that you knew, is over. But this life is a new life and it’s just beginning.”

I’d love to hear what you thought of this conversation. Please comment below or share with me on social media. Please share it with your friends and family, and be sure to tag me if you share it on social media so that I can say thank you. I’m @christinarasmussen7 on Instagram and @ChristinaRasmussen2014 on Facebook.

More About Kelley Lynn

Kelley Lynn is an actor, comedian, TED talk speaker, grief coach, and author of the book "My Husband Is Not a Rainbow: the brutally awful, hilarious truth about life, love, grief, and loss." Since the sudden death of her husband Don in 2011, it has been Kelley's mission to help change the conversations we have about grief and loss, and to help others navigate through life after loss with her comedy, speaking engagements, and book. Kelley lived in the NYC area for over two decades teaching comedy and acting, and now resides in her home state of Massachusetts with her husband Nick. Kelley recently married Nick in a covid-safe, no guest wedding ceremony at The Groton Inn on New years Eve - they live streamed the event on Facebook.

You can connect with her via her website, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and Instagram.

Things We Mention In This Episode

• Website: www.akelleylynnlife.com
• YouTube: Kelley Funny Lady
• Tedx Talk: When Someone You Love Dies, There is No Such Thing As Moving On
• Book: My Husband is Not a Rainbow, by Kelley Lynn
• Class: The next Life Reentry class with Christina starts on March 30th
• Book: Where Did You Go? by Christina Rasmussen
• Book: Second Firsts by Christina Rasmussen
• Newsletter - Message In a Bottle: Sign up for Christina’s weekly letter

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