Boundaries

Don't Lose Your Balance with Mallory Durrick

Well, hey, everybody, welcome to the 25th episode of Don't lose your balance. My name is Mallory Durrick. I want to thank you all for joining if this is your first time here, welcome, if you've been here before, and listened to my episodic life history. Thanks. So today I and I've been toying around with this particular topic for quite some time. And I, I've been wanting to talk about it, but I haven't, I thought maybe some of the other episodes should come first. And it doesn't really matter. But I wanted to talk a little bit about boundaries. I've talked about boundaries in the past and what they are and what they mean for me and how they helped me not feel so out of control, I guess, when I've learned to recognize what a boundary is, and how to not only define it, but how to express other people, Hey, these are my boundaries. It got it got a lot easier for me. And I'd like to talk a little bit about that because it provided a definite sense of clarity, and most importantly, balance. So boundaries, what are they? Well, there are a lot of things. And the first thing I ever think about when I think about a boundary is a wall that goes up, these are my boundaries, don't cross that line, or you're going to come over into my personal space, for example, well, that may happen. And that may be a definite boundary that you've defined, but I don't want to speak of boundaries negatively. And yet in my head, every time I think about a boundary, I think about it being something negative or that I have to most importantly apologize for and that's where I struggle. I do not want to apologize for having a boundary. If I say no, I'm good I, I don't need something or I don't want something. And these are my boundaries that I've defined for myself so that I can more or less protect my mental well being. I don't want to apologize for having done that. And I feel like I have to apologize for having a boundary or many boundaries. Learning to recognize no Mallory, you don't need to apologize for your boundaries, you can actually just have boundaries, and be okay with it. And if somebody doesn't like your boundaries, that's more a problem for them and less a problem for me. And intellectually, I get it. I say to myself, well, if it's a problem for them, that's their issue. And they have to deal with that. However, I know intellectually, that I might own it. And I might think, are my boundaries too defined? Are my boundaries inappropriate? Are my boundaries unacceptable to somebody else at the cost of my own comfort level. And this is where I've not been great in the past, because I didn't have boundaries. I didn't say to people, this is what is right for me, because it always felt so selfish.

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