About my journey

Nightly check-in with Samira

Hey my friend, I hope you had a great day. Even if it didn’t feel great, let’s celebrate it for the tiny beautiful things it brought. You don’t know me yet but over the next few months I want to take you with me to the journey of self discovery I am on, I am hoping my journey inspires you. I hope we become friends in the path we are both on. I haven’t figured out my destination yet but the path is revealing itself to me and is beautiful. I am trusting the path. I am a scientist, a genetic designer, I am also: wait, I am not those things. I do those things and I keep reminding myself that I should separate who I am with what I do. So let’s start over, I do genetic engineering, my work involves being a university professor. I also do a number of science communication projects, mainly looking at societal impact of technologies. I could go on and on. But does it matter? To be honest, not any more. Those external successes never brought me joy because they were built on the person I chose to be to satisfy others. It is so difficult to grow up being someone who others expect you to be and keep that in the face of all the obstacles adulthood throws at you. To sum up, my life events with details I can share later, gradually and increasingly crushed my soul and sent me to the depth of the darkness of the shadow I was carrying. I had everything but one thing: my soul and peace. So when you witness your soul chipping away, what would you do? You may have a different answer than mine. For me, the only way forward was rush to the spiritual emergency room to rescue my soul. So I gave it all up. My marriage, my tenured professorship, the false security of success to build myself, based on the expression of the soul I was determined to revive. Boy it is something. The path feels warm. I have to admit that there are many days and nights that I am terrified. You know, I am mostly scared of two things: 1- How do I earn enough living to pay bills? 2- Will I ever be successful in the new path, whatever it is? These questions in the beginning threw me off balance a lot, but gradually, through many hours of interception and building self love I realized I am asking the wrong questions. The reality is: I am on a path to build something authentic, original, true expression of me. That per se is more satisfying than any stability of money that came with erosion of my soul. I keep reminding myself to the law of attraction: Be positive, believe in yourself and dream of your fullest potential and you will get there. That is what I believe now and this belief in itself, has eroded the sense of fear and provided a sense of peace. I wanted to let you know of this. If you have any doubt, know that you can become everything you are. This is what I repeat to myself. You can do that too. For now, have a great night. Know that tomorrow is a beautiful new beginning.