425: “Should” Season is Out

School of Self-Image

Transforming 'Should' into 'Desire': A Journey to Self-Discovery

The word "should" carries significant weight in our lives, often representing obligation and criticism. In this podcast episode, Tonya Leigh explores the profound impact that this single word can have on our mental and emotional well-being. When we use "should," it typically conveys a sense of duty or correctness, suggesting that there is a right way to do things. This inherent judgment can lead to feelings of shame and guilt, ultimately hindering our personal growth and fulfillment.

She shares a relatable story about a listener named Jeanette, who eagerly anticipates Tonya's annual Live Like an Editor workshop as a tool for success. Tonya emphasizes the importance of breaking free from the cycle of "shoulds" that keep us playing small and reflects on her decision to take January for deep reflection before diving into the new year.

Tune in to discover strategies for overcoming the pressure of expectations and embracing your true desires.

Talking Points:

00:32 - Breaking Free from "Shoulds" 01:56 - Reflecting on the New Year 03:31 - The Concept of "Should Season" 05:09 - Definition of "Should" and Its Implications 08:00 - The Harm of "Should" in Personal Growth 10:24 - Internal "Shoulds" and Self-Criticism 13:31 - The Pressure of Societal Expectations 16:14 - The Paradox of Self-Acceptance 19:25 - The Body Test for True Desires 23:32 - Building a Life Based on True Desires 24:56 - Conclusion: Embracing True Desires

Quotes:

"It's when shame and guilt becomes your compass instead of desire being your guide."

"To argue with reality is to argue with God and you only lose 100% of the time."

"The curious paradox is when I accept myself as I am, then I can change."

"It's only when I've gotten in touch with my true desires and made those the goals that I have had years where I felt excited, where I felt aligned, where I felt like I was moving towards my own North Star."

"If you are building a life off of fear and shame shoulds, you are going to be building a prison for yourself."

"Your desires are never wrong. They're simply showing you the way home to yourself."

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